Praying to close this long distance gap

[Loriann97]

Hello I am new here and looking for some guidance and answers. I met my SO three months ago online through a singing app called Smule Sing. Music has connected us and since then we have fallen in love. We have both decided that we want to spend the rest of our lives together. Here is the problem. We are both married. I am a US citizen and will be filing for a divorce by the end of this year, which was already in process before we met. He is a Philippine citizen and also still married, but like me is in a failed marriage. For my part a divorce is easy but for him, since he is already married in the Philippines this is a huge challenge. Annulment takes time and money I read that it can take 1-4 years and will cost around $4000.

Right now he is a contract worker in Saudi Arabia and his contract ends July 2017. Visiting him at this time is impossible because of his circumstances there. We would like to close the distance gap at the end of his contract. His company will provide him a ticket anywhere he choses to be once his contract ends. At this time we would like him to be here in the United States.

I have done some research and based on what I have found, we are hoping he can enter the US with a work visa and file for divorce here, and apply for a fiancé Visa. I do not know any other way for us to be together or where to even begin.

I currently reside in the state of North Carolina. We have thought about a tourist visa as another option but he also wants to work and live here permanently. We have a little over a year to plan this. I am hoping to find some advise and answers so that we can be pointed in the right direction. Thank you.

[snow_girl]

Oh man, I think you need to worry about getting those divorces first before you start planning all this other stuff.

[Loriann97]

Thank you for reply. I agree with you regarding taking care of our divorces. I have no issues in my part. My husband and I are in the process. For my SO, there is no such thing as a divorce in Phillipines which makes this very difficult. Anulment is the only way he can get a divorce in his country.

[Miasmata]

Seems like there are a few, albeit tricky, options for a Fillipino to get divorced/annulled: https://www.hg.org/article.asp?id=20090

Can you move forward without him getting formally divorced, "just" properly seperated?

[Ejoriah]

Getting work visas to the US is extremely difficult, btw. It has to be sponsored by a US company that has to be able to show that the reason they are hiring a foreigner is because there is no one local that could do the job. Depending on what field your SO works in, that could be impossible.

Also bear in mind that it is illegal for the two of you to get married if he comes on a tourist visa.

[differentcountries]

There would be an option for him to come visit you on a tourist visa, but I would suggest the two of you to try to meet up before that happens, for instance in the Phillipines.

I don't know if you are familiar with international long distance relationships, but usually, closing the distance takes a lot of planning and hard work. You are currently both married, which means you can't obtain a fiance visa. Also, US will need time to recognize your relationship, so when you visit, make sure to save the tickets, take pics etc. Everything is still new, but if you want to go down that route, you need to visit, and to document your contact.

[Loriann97]

Thank you so much for your reply. I am unfamiliar with LDR. This is all new to me. I am hoping he can come here first with a tourist Visa if a work Visa does not work out. I am going to start documenting and keeping all form of communications, email, txt logs, letters. It seems easier for me to go there vs him comming here.

[Loriann97]

Thank you for your responce. This whole process for us is going to be a challenge. I actually did research and found a website specifically for Visa jobs. In my state I saw thousands of H1B jobs..he has a degree in IT, so this gives us some form of hope.

[MissingMyDutchLove]

I don't mean to judge your situation, I know to each their own or whatever, but damn, you might want to slow down. If I have this straight: you both are still married, have only known each other for three months, have never met, and are already planning on a marriage!? Best of luck to you, but you may want to meet this guy in person and make sure you actually like him before you start planning the wedding...

[Loriann97]

I don't mean to judge your situation, I know to each their own or whatever, but damn, you might want to slow down. If I have this straight: you both are still married, have only known each other for three months, have never met, and are already planning on a marriage!? Best of luck to you, but you may want to meet this guy in person and make sure you actually like him before you start planning the wedding...

Thanks for your reply. First of all. I didn't put my business out here to be judged. I came here for support and guidance. We are both fully aware of what we both want. You do not persnally know us or our situation for you to judge us. We are currently looking at all options at this point and have been doing extensive research and planning. Everyone has their own story and reasons why they want to close the long distance gap...and that is why this forum exist..so people like us can find answers.

[Moon]

Holy rushing into things, Batman!

Listen, in all honestly, his being Filipino is going to make it very difficult to get a visitor visa, and I think he has to go through an interview at the embassy in Manila, and if that's the case, he can't just come here from Saudi. Also, unless he has a advanced degree in IT and is highly specialized in something, IT workers here are a dime a dozen. Companies aren't going to bother with the time, expense and trouble for an H1B who's just an average IT guy. I'm in IT, so this comes from experience.

I don't mean to sound discouraging, and I realize how exciting a new relationship is, but he's committed until July 2017 anyway. It's OK to research, there's no harm in it, but take your time here and let the relationship mature, and for you both to get divorced, before you plan your whole lives together. You can make this happen, but it'll be time consuming, frustrating and very expensive. Make sure it's worth it.

[Moon]

Thanks for your reply. First of all. I didn't put my business out here to be judged. I came here for support and guidance. We are both fully aware of what we both want. You do not persnally know us or our situation for you to judge us. We are currently looking at all options at this point and have been doing extensive research and planning. Everyone has their own story and reasons why they want to close the long distance gap...and that is why this forum exist..so people like us can find answers.

Oh come on You put your story on a forum, people are going to judge you regardless of your intentions. Surely you know that. I'm sorry to sound rude, but this is the internet. Here's the thing...no one here personally knows you, you're right about that. We call it as we see it, based on what you tell us, it's all we can do, you know? I wish you luck, unbiased, third-party luck.