Planning to visit next month to his country and he's suddenly stopped replying. :(

[incendia]

My guy and I met while he was visiting my country, and on student exchange at my university. We were seated next to each other on an excursion for our class and things just clicked from there. I remember meeting him before this actually, there was a pause in the conversation that felt like it went on forever before i even knew his name, and i just knew he was important. There's this feeling of soul recognition shared. The subtleties made me take notice. Unfortunately, we kept having missed connections because he had some problems with his visa and had to suddenly return home. We stayed in touch and got really close around Nov/Dec last year. i went through something and he was there for me. Then, for a few months I became his rock. Which was hard to do because he's such a private person and rarely feels comfortable to totally let people in. Then when we were on Skype for I think it was 6 hours, i just knew I had to give this a chance and booked the flight to visit the next week. It felt like an answer to a question we'd both been feeling but had no idea how it could progress. Things were going great until about a month ago when I went away for 2 weeks and didn't have access to internet. aka camping/no service. Then he got really busy the next few weeks after I returned. We just weren't connecting like before. He was just busy with school but him ignoring me, really seemed to trigger my own insecurities and I've been quite demanding to know what's happening... like if he's even still meeting me. I am not getting straight answers. We had plans to Skype but he missed that. My last msg to him was to ask if we could Skype again, to work this travel stuff out. I'm hoping he's still coming. The lags increasing and him not replying as often as before is making me feel really sad. You don't have to talk all the time, but an occasional conversation where there's not days in between for a reply would be ideal. It's confusing because when we do talk, he is really warm and seems very interested. It's those lags in between that really worries me. I'm not sure what to do, we both felt this thing for each other, and genuinely wanted to see how things go. But now there's this tension from the communication issues. To me, travelling across an ocean to be with someone is kinda a big deal. If he's changed his mind, I'd hope he'd let me know soon so can make another plan. Sucks not knowing Has anyone else been in this type of situation? How do you deal with it? Am I supposed to give him lots of space even though there's not a lot of time to make other arrangements? Thank you x

[sasad]

Just to clarify.. you have visited him in the US and now he is supposed to come visit you?
Has he booked a flight yet?
Sounds like you two need to sit and really talk... are you in a committed relationship or just friends? Have you talked about all that and how it will work?
It is possible he is really busy. Its the end of year coming up this month for a lot of colleges.
I hope you guys figure this out, but the only way you will is by talking.. asking questions and giving answers. Best of luck to you both!

[incendia]

Just to clarify.. you have visited him in the US and now he is supposed to come visit you?
Has he booked a flight yet?
Sounds like you two need to sit and really talk... are you in a committed relationship or just friends? Have you talked about all that and how it will work?
It is possible he is really busy. Its the end of year coming up this month for a lot of colleges.
I hope you guys figure this out, but the only way you will is by talking.. asking questions and giving answers. Best of luck to you both!

Oh no, it's actually my first time visiting him over in the US. But we're meeting in a different city than where he lives - so can enjoy travelling together etc. Or so was the plan. I live on the other side of the world so it's a little hard not knowing what's going on. We're not official yet as we wanted to hold off till had that time together in person, but usually up until recently would talk almost every day and Skype for hours when had the chance. He's just graduated last week, so prob busy with that. I thought I'd wait a week and see if he responds and then send another message communicating that I'm not getting a straight answer and going to see him is kinda a big deal... Which won't help me being demanding again to know whats going on. Just reached that point now where you feel really disappointed. Have done this big romantic gesture that he was so excited about, to him acting all weird right before I arrive. My flights and hotel is booked. Non refundable.

Thank you for your reply )

[differentcountries]

If your flights and hotel are booked, you are good to go. Perhaps he just assumes that yes, he will go as well? I assume he will stay with you in that hotel, so his local travel is all he needs - perhaps he doesn't need to be that thurogh with planning - for instance, I don't have to book that far in advance if I have to go to the capital, there are always flights, trains and even buses to go.

Sure, he graduated last week, but he is done doing that - it is time for him to focus a little bit more on your arrivel. It doesn't really matter if you are officially a couple or not - if you were a friend visitning, it would still be rude to not confirm details of your planned holiday together. Why don't you call him? You need to know if he is in on this, or if you are facing an alone-holiday in his country. By all means, accept that he is busy, but this being your first visit he needs to get considerate.

[incendia]

If your flights and hotel are booked, you are good to go. Perhaps he just assumes that yes, he will go as well? I assume he will stay with you in that hotel, so his local travel is all he needs - perhaps he doesn't need to be that thurogh with planning - for instance, I don't have to book that far in advance if I have to go to the capital, there are always flights, trains and even buses to go.

Sure, he graduated last week, but he is done doing that - it is time for him to focus a little bit more on your arrivel. It doesn't really matter if you are officially a couple or not - if you were a friend visitning, it would still be rude to not confirm details of your planned holiday together. Why don't you call him? You need to know if he is in on this, or if you are facing an alone-holiday in his country. By all means, accept that he is busy, but this being your first visit he needs to get considerate.

My thoughts exactly. Even for just a friend you communicate and make room for planning some basic things like dates and arrival stuff. I'm getting a really bad feeling he finally replied and said he was stressed about money and not sure how long he could now commit to coming to see me which is fair enough I can understand how that feels but he's known for a while i was coming and he said he'd put aside the whole time to see me. Feels like it's slipping away. Trying to be positive but then today he posted this photo of him with one of his female friends, praising her for being there for him and the internal gut part of me is saying there's something going on between them and maybe that was his way of passively saying something without saying directly. Sucks. I don't want to jump to conclusions reading into things, but seemed a bit odd if he never posts photos of himself with anyone else then suddenly that shows up. LDR = so much work. I'm not sure if it's worth trying to still see him now. My instinct is to avoid because I feel hurt but not sure how to react.