My LDR Ended.... :(

[carlose1886]

Just recently my LDR has come to an end. Sadly it went down to an argument. We both could not agree who is going to who. But also I understand her situation because she refuse to leave her son behind. I guess she thought I was going to come to her. But I couldn't leave since my parents are in tough economic problems. Ever since my father got fired and does not work and can barely afford his bills and his needs. He's at an age where it's difficult to find a job. She knows that I come from a working class family. I help my family in any way possible. Trying to explain it to her, it just lead to arguments and later she decided to tell me off. I think about it and wonder what I did wrong? It bothered me all day and.... well there was no contact from her at all. I feel that what has just happened really means it's over for good. I looked at my phone the only thing I got was "Sleep well". After that I received nothing else. Is it really over now.....? I wanted to cry really badly, with no one to talk to. I ended up talking to my mum. Since she was only available. Told her what happen (above). My mum showed what ever support she can give me. She told me "I just have to let it go. Why get so worried? Maybe it's not meant to be?" I wonder of the times we began talking to going on skype to finally being able to see each other in person. Now it feel like that was just a dream, like it never happened... My heart feels the pain but my mind is denying of what happened.... Now it's in my mind and making a little depressed. I feel that it's my fault and I ruined my LD girlfriends life by walking in. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid of falling apart and going into depression. I... can't believe that this happened and it's over.... It really makes me sad when I read successful LDR stories. I was hoping my LDR would be like that someday. But that day will never happen. What to do now from here? How will I move forward? How and hide my sadness at work and with those I care about? What am I gonna do now?

[Moon]

I'm sorry this happened to you, but you didn't really expect her to leave her child behind, did you? If you aren't willing to move, and she can't (You'll never be as important as her child), then you aren't left with many options. Why can't you move and send money home? When you date a woman with a child, you don't come first and concessions must be made for children, and what's best for them. I'm strongly assuming you aren't a parent, so you probably don't understand these things, but maybe dating women with children really isn't for you then. From here, you look at this as a sad lesson learned, and realise that compromise in relationships are absolutely essential. I you know you aren't willing to move, forget LDR's and date locally to avoid the issue altogether. As bad as you feel now, it will get better. You need to take care of yourself and take the time you need to heal now, and things will eventually be OK, they really will.

[R&R]

I'm sorry that it happened, but sometimes there obstacles that just can't be overcome. Moon is right about dating someone with a child/children. It's not easy for them to move when they have kids and leaving them behind is 99% of the time, not an option. It can depend on the childs age and what they want to do if they are in their late teens.

You are old enough to understand that a relationship had two outcomes - it either continues or it ends. In every relationship you enter, no matter CD or LD, there is a 50/50 chance of the outcome. Take this as a lesson learned and move foward. You are in control of your emotions and can move past this. It's a part of the dating process.

[sasad]

Agreed!!!! I have an 11 year old ( today!!) and my SO knows there is no way I can leave my son behind. He even tells me that he knew before he signed up, that I was a packaged deal.

Again, age plays some part in it, but moving across the world would be extremely difficult for me even when my son is older.. I want to see my grandbabies grow up as well!!

I am sorry you got hurt. I am sorry you couldn't work it out, and at your age, like mentioned above, you could send funds home if needed. To her, it may seem like you want her to leave her child, yet you wont leave your parents.. just my 3 cents worth..

[Katy_G]

Sorry to hear about this.

Unfortunately you both have your priorities in life, and that's understandable. Until such time or circumstances when you can see to those, and your relationship at once, something is going to give.

Focus on healing. You'll move past this.