He's about to give up...
Hello everybody,
just a little newbie stopping by!
I'm currently in a seven months LDR and my love for him grows each day a little more.
We both are very interested in foreign languages and our love for the "unknown" lead us to where we are now - we both were members of a big foreign languages platform where we could chat and improve our language skills with native speakers. He wanted to consolidate his English while I was looking for someone to help me learn Russian. When I first saw his profile, I didn't even think it over and added him straight away. I wasn't expecting anything out of it because his profile picture was very small and blurry, as well as mine. However, he accepted my friendship request and we started to chat in Russian; after a miserable attempt at speaking Russian, he suggested we could switch the conversation into English and continue it on Skype. I carelessly accepted and the same evening we had our very first Skype call... it was a mess
I didn't care about it so much we actually ended up video chatting and I was wearing... yes, a bloody pyjama!! My hair was a mess too and my whole appareance just rubbish... I had a though day and I surly did not expect a tall, fit, blue eyed Russian bloke to call me on Skype! As soon as I saw him, I only thought: "that's it, I'm never gonna see him again due to my very poor appareance - let's at least make the best out of this call... let's at least learn some Russian verbs!". It wasn't love at first sight, I only thought he was a fun and easy guy to talk to, nothing else really. The Skype call ended and I didn't really think too much of it but we continued talking for a little while after that. Summer arrived and he moved to Russia due to his job, I didn't miss him at all at this point because I was very into my Uni life so much I wouldn't think about anything else - he slowly started to fade from my mind. One day however, he sent me a message on VKontakte (Russian Facebook) saying he had a beautiful Russian girlfriend and we started to talk again. I wasn't exactly jealous but indeed very curious, he only wanted to chat but I wanted to know more about him. Our conversations were few and surly not everyday but again, it didn't really bother me - he was busy with work and his girlfriend and I was busy with Uni and... well, my friends!
September arrived so fast, I was getting ready to come back to Uni and he was back to his native country. Needless to say we started to talk again but this time, much more than before and more and more for each day. What was a one hour talk once every blue moon, easily became a daily basis routine, scheduled in between an exchange of messages throughout the day. We started to talk every single day, whenever we had free time. He wasn't working, I was at Uni but we still managed to hear of each other... a lot. He told me he had broken up with his girlfriend because he had to move back to his country and couldn't bare with having a LDR (ironic, huh?!) and again, I felt sorry for him but nothing more.
The days became weeks, the weeks months; the "I think he's funny" became "he is SO funny" and then "I like him... A LOT". It wasn't easy for me to dive head first into a relationship, after my first (and last one before this one) left me so heart broken. I wasn't ready to love again, even after all the years passed by (three). It was international (pffff!!!) but far different from this one, because we lived in the same place (I've lived in England for one year) and he was using me to get... yes, you got it. My boyfriend was being very nice all the time, saying THE SWEETEST things and I would blank him by saying things like: "we've never met" "stop" "alright sure" "mmm... cool" - little did he know I was growing a love within me that only God knows how big it is. I am still growing it. One time he said to me: "I need you, I miss you" and I only said: "You don't need me, slavic men don't need anyone!" we laughed over it... but I was actually the one who needed him the most.
And now to the present without too many words (even if I could litteraly continue for days and it still wouldn't be enough to explain my situation) - one would think our relationship is perfect now, they'd be wrong. I dropped out of Uni due to social anxiety, stress and other reasons, he's back to Russia for work and yet again we struggle to communicate, even if we do our best. He seems always tired when he calls me and I get why, I'm not getting into his economical/job situation but it's though and I uderstand him. We still haven't met and my parents don't know about him... still. He has talked about me to his family straight after we started to talk while I'm still very distressed when it comes to speak with my family, because of their very close minded type of mentality. We're constantly trying to get to see each other but it's ether too expensive for him (or me) or simply too hard for me to travel alone without telling my parents the real reason. Lately, to show him how sorry I am I started to be much sweeter and open about my feelings but it seems like we litteraly switched roles
He's now giving me the bittersweet answers I once gave to him and it's common that we don't talk for three days in a row. We never had very big arguments but we do disagree on some cultural differences, yet we still managed to get through it all with a smile and the hope that, maybe, we could be together one day. Now though he seems like he's tired of trying and about to give up on everything we had... and trust me, we had a lot even if from a distance. I told him my darkest secrets and he has opened up on many occasions on his family issues, fears and dreams. I tried and try my best to be a supportive girlfriend as much as he tries to be the best version of himself. We always try to help each other and understand our cultural needs. He's my best friend before anything else... and I thought I would be the same for him but lately he's acting weird and all we really talk about is sex... or how much we want to meet but we can't... or how horrible this situation is because my father might (or might not) have understood there's something going on with me and someone from "the East" and I argue with him everyday because he keeps talking stereotypes about Eastern Europe in a way that is not normal anymore. We do have sweet and deep moments but not as many as we used to and I am very very scared that after all the mess we have been though (and I might or might not have explained it but it's really complicated to explain) he really wants to give up... we are planning to meet in December but my father will be around so it might not happen actually and I think that's what hurts him the most - the fact that I'm hiding him from my parents and friends (only three friends of mine know about him) and I don't know... we had a talk about it but I'm really concearned about the future of our relationship.
I don't want to let go... but does he?
I'd very much appreciate some thoughts and advices from people who have been through something similar... thank you.
Sorry for the novel,
hope you have a lovely day!
WildFirefly
P.S.
Pardon my very bad English... I really can't be bothered to check the spelling
just a little newbie stopping by!
I'm currently in a seven months LDR and my love for him grows each day a little more.
We both are very interested in foreign languages and our love for the "unknown" lead us to where we are now - we both were members of a big foreign languages platform where we could chat and improve our language skills with native speakers. He wanted to consolidate his English while I was looking for someone to help me learn Russian. When I first saw his profile, I didn't even think it over and added him straight away. I wasn't expecting anything out of it because his profile picture was very small and blurry, as well as mine. However, he accepted my friendship request and we started to chat in Russian; after a miserable attempt at speaking Russian, he suggested we could switch the conversation into English and continue it on Skype. I carelessly accepted and the same evening we had our very first Skype call... it was a mess
I didn't care about it so much we actually ended up video chatting and I was wearing... yes, a bloody pyjama!! My hair was a mess too and my whole appareance just rubbish... I had a though day and I surly did not expect a tall, fit, blue eyed Russian bloke to call me on Skype! As soon as I saw him, I only thought: "that's it, I'm never gonna see him again due to my very poor appareance - let's at least make the best out of this call... let's at least learn some Russian verbs!". It wasn't love at first sight, I only thought he was a fun and easy guy to talk to, nothing else really. The Skype call ended and I didn't really think too much of it but we continued talking for a little while after that. Summer arrived and he moved to Russia due to his job, I didn't miss him at all at this point because I was very into my Uni life so much I wouldn't think about anything else - he slowly started to fade from my mind. One day however, he sent me a message on VKontakte (Russian Facebook) saying he had a beautiful Russian girlfriend and we started to talk again. I wasn't exactly jealous but indeed very curious, he only wanted to chat but I wanted to know more about him. Our conversations were few and surly not everyday but again, it didn't really bother me - he was busy with work and his girlfriend and I was busy with Uni and... well, my friends! September arrived so fast, I was getting ready to come back to Uni and he was back to his native country. Needless to say we started to talk again but this time, much more than before and more and more for each day. What was a one hour talk once every blue moon, easily became a daily basis routine, scheduled in between an exchange of messages throughout the day. We started to talk every single day, whenever we had free time. He wasn't working, I was at Uni but we still managed to hear of each other... a lot. He told me he had broken up with his girlfriend because he had to move back to his country and couldn't bare with having a LDR (ironic, huh?!) and again, I felt sorry for him but nothing more.
The days became weeks, the weeks months; the "I think he's funny" became "he is SO funny" and then "I like him... A LOT". It wasn't easy for me to dive head first into a relationship, after my first (and last one before this one) left me so heart broken. I wasn't ready to love again, even after all the years passed by (three). It was international (pffff!!!) but far different from this one, because we lived in the same place (I've lived in England for one year) and he was using me to get... yes, you got it. My boyfriend was being very nice all the time, saying THE SWEETEST things and I would blank him by saying things like: "we've never met" "stop" "alright sure" "mmm... cool" - little did he know I was growing a love within me that only God knows how big it is. I am still growing it. One time he said to me: "I need you, I miss you" and I only said: "You don't need me, slavic men don't need anyone!" we laughed over it... but I was actually the one who needed him the most.
And now to the present without too many words (even if I could litteraly continue for days and it still wouldn't be enough to explain my situation) - one would think our relationship is perfect now, they'd be wrong. I dropped out of Uni due to social anxiety, stress and other reasons, he's back to Russia for work and yet again we struggle to communicate, even if we do our best. He seems always tired when he calls me and I get why, I'm not getting into his economical/job situation but it's though and I uderstand him. We still haven't met and my parents don't know about him... still. He has talked about me to his family straight after we started to talk while I'm still very distressed when it comes to speak with my family, because of their very close minded type of mentality. We're constantly trying to get to see each other but it's ether too expensive for him (or me) or simply too hard for me to travel alone without telling my parents the real reason. Lately, to show him how sorry I am I started to be much sweeter and open about my feelings but it seems like we litteraly switched roles
He's now giving me the bittersweet answers I once gave to him and it's common that we don't talk for three days in a row. We never had very big arguments but we do disagree on some cultural differences, yet we still managed to get through it all with a smile and the hope that, maybe, we could be together one day. Now though he seems like he's tired of trying and about to give up on everything we had... and trust me, we had a lot even if from a distance. I told him my darkest secrets and he has opened up on many occasions on his family issues, fears and dreams. I tried and try my best to be a supportive girlfriend as much as he tries to be the best version of himself. We always try to help each other and understand our cultural needs. He's my best friend before anything else... and I thought I would be the same for him but lately he's acting weird and all we really talk about is sex... or how much we want to meet but we can't... or how horrible this situation is because my father might (or might not) have understood there's something going on with me and someone from "the East" and I argue with him everyday because he keeps talking stereotypes about Eastern Europe in a way that is not normal anymore. We do have sweet and deep moments but not as many as we used to and I am very very scared that after all the mess we have been though (and I might or might not have explained it but it's really complicated to explain) he really wants to give up... we are planning to meet in December but my father will be around so it might not happen actually and I think that's what hurts him the most - the fact that I'm hiding him from my parents and friends (only three friends of mine know about him) and I don't know... we had a talk about it but I'm really concearned about the future of our relationship. I don't want to let go... but does he?
I'd very much appreciate some thoughts and advices from people who have been through something similar... thank you.
Sorry for the novel,
hope you have a lovely day!
WildFirefly
P.S.
Pardon my very bad English... I really can't be bothered to check the spelling
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