Hey Everyone!
I registered here to share my story and hopefully get some advise on how to act ..
Sorry, this is going to be long ..
My best friend and I know each other for quite a while now. He is from the United States, I'm from Germany.
We met each other on Faecbook because we work in the same industry which includes a lot of traveling, met each other a few times until I got really sick and developed an amazing friendship. My sickness was very serious while I was in the States. My family and everyone else was in Europe so I was on my own but he would never leave my side, did everything to support me and went out of his way to make sure I'm ok.
I had to stay in the States for a while after being released and he made me stay with him to ensure I'm ok .. this took another month.
I left for Europe and returned three weeks after. We tried to talk every day while I wasnt there and he came to see me in Florida while being on vacation even though I was going to fly to his hometown right after.
Being back in Colorado I stayed with him for a few nights before moving into my apartment. We talked about feelings a few times before and always agreed on us just being friends. The first night at his apartment we cooked together and had some wine, nothing happened. We pulled out the sleeper couch and watched a movie. Then he went to bed.
This happened a couple times before he started to come closer. I was laying down, he was facing my back and suddenly he hugged me and asked if I want to cuddle. We ended up spooning, then he went to bed again.
He went out of state for the weekend for a job (which we ended up working together but this comes later on) and when he returned on Sunday we went to get lunch together and to his place afterwards. We agreed on watching a movie in his room and as soon as the movie started he pulled me over to him and we fell asleep for a nap, me laying on his chest.
We also cooked dinner together afterwards and talked again about feelings, still agreeing we are just friends ..
The cuddling thing started to become normal and natural for some reason and we kept doing it, never kissed or anything else.
While it got closer for me to return to Europe again for a couple weeks and he was about to leave for Europe again for a job (traveling every day) he asked me if I want to join his team for the Europe tour and I agreed.
This meant I would stay in the States for another month then leaving for Europe together. To safe me some money he offered to let me stay with him .. this was kinda natural at this point, so we agreed of doing the job together.
The tour was really stressful and we spent quite some time working in on of our hotel rooms every night, had dinner together etc.
He gets really difficult when being stressed so I dealt with a lot of ups and downs, mentally ripping me apart sometimes but I somehow managed to look past it. One night after we have been fighting he asked me if I still dont have feelings (I wasnt sure but denied) and he said, that I'm the only person who puts up with him like this etc.
The night after, we layed in his room listening to music and he kissed me. We ended up having sex but it was weird. I enjoyed it but the it came with some after taste. I didnt spent the night in his room, went to mine and we saw each other in the morning. We didnt really talk about it but agreed on this being a one time thing and that it wont happen again. The next couple days were somehow strange though.
After another three days we had a hectic day at work and after we had room service in his room that night, he asked me to lay down next to him. He put his arm around me and kissed me. I guess you know what happened next .. Morning after, we again agreed on this not happening again.
Another two days after this we had a day off, did dinner together, had so much fun and a great time and went to his room afterwards. We came in and he kissed me right away. Answer to the question why he is doing this since we didnt want that anymore was "because I havent kissed you in a while"..
This was repeated for some more days until he left to go back to the US .. we spent around 3 month with each other and of course, saying bye was hard. Before he left we agreed on just being friends again and that we have to stop having sex from this point.
I tried to live my life while being in Europe, didnt really stay awake to talk to him and actually was glad to have some space. Of course I was excited to fly back in three weeks though.
When I came back, he asked if I want to come over that night to hang out. I was excited to see him though but my flight got delayed, another one cancelled and I ended up getting in around midnight. I went over to his apartment and when I came in he hugged me really long and kissed me. We than went over to the couch and he just held me really tight. We went over into his room and were just laying on his bed cuddling and had sex after a while ..
He took me to see his family (which I've met before) for a big holiday, went to the movies, dinner etc until the day I had to leave.
He had to leave a night before (he chose to) but cried when I came over to say bye .. this time was the hardest time I ever had leaving the states. I cried all day after he left, without even knowing why I did, came back to Germany and now I'm just so unhappy. I miss him a lot, we still agreed on giving each other some space so I can get used to Germany again etc.
I'll be back in September (10 weeks till then) and I need to find out how he feels about this ..
He doesnt talk about his feelings and can have zero emotion if he wants to, so thats hard. One thing I noticed though is that he always made the first step. I would have been to shy and afraid to do something wrong to kiss him etc.
I hope someone has some advise. I am pretty sure that I have feelings at this point, dont want to jeopardize our friendship though.
Thank you all so much in advance
I registered here to share my story and hopefully get some advise on how to act ..
Sorry, this is going to be long ..
My best friend and I know each other for quite a while now. He is from the United States, I'm from Germany.
We met each other on Faecbook because we work in the same industry which includes a lot of traveling, met each other a few times until I got really sick and developed an amazing friendship. My sickness was very serious while I was in the States. My family and everyone else was in Europe so I was on my own but he would never leave my side, did everything to support me and went out of his way to make sure I'm ok.
I had to stay in the States for a while after being released and he made me stay with him to ensure I'm ok .. this took another month.
I left for Europe and returned three weeks after. We tried to talk every day while I wasnt there and he came to see me in Florida while being on vacation even though I was going to fly to his hometown right after.
Being back in Colorado I stayed with him for a few nights before moving into my apartment. We talked about feelings a few times before and always agreed on us just being friends. The first night at his apartment we cooked together and had some wine, nothing happened. We pulled out the sleeper couch and watched a movie. Then he went to bed.
This happened a couple times before he started to come closer. I was laying down, he was facing my back and suddenly he hugged me and asked if I want to cuddle. We ended up spooning, then he went to bed again.
He went out of state for the weekend for a job (which we ended up working together but this comes later on) and when he returned on Sunday we went to get lunch together and to his place afterwards. We agreed on watching a movie in his room and as soon as the movie started he pulled me over to him and we fell asleep for a nap, me laying on his chest.
We also cooked dinner together afterwards and talked again about feelings, still agreeing we are just friends ..
The cuddling thing started to become normal and natural for some reason and we kept doing it, never kissed or anything else.
While it got closer for me to return to Europe again for a couple weeks and he was about to leave for Europe again for a job (traveling every day) he asked me if I want to join his team for the Europe tour and I agreed.
This meant I would stay in the States for another month then leaving for Europe together. To safe me some money he offered to let me stay with him .. this was kinda natural at this point, so we agreed of doing the job together.
The tour was really stressful and we spent quite some time working in on of our hotel rooms every night, had dinner together etc.
He gets really difficult when being stressed so I dealt with a lot of ups and downs, mentally ripping me apart sometimes but I somehow managed to look past it. One night after we have been fighting he asked me if I still dont have feelings (I wasnt sure but denied) and he said, that I'm the only person who puts up with him like this etc.
The night after, we layed in his room listening to music and he kissed me. We ended up having sex but it was weird. I enjoyed it but the it came with some after taste. I didnt spent the night in his room, went to mine and we saw each other in the morning. We didnt really talk about it but agreed on this being a one time thing and that it wont happen again. The next couple days were somehow strange though.
After another three days we had a hectic day at work and after we had room service in his room that night, he asked me to lay down next to him. He put his arm around me and kissed me. I guess you know what happened next .. Morning after, we again agreed on this not happening again.
Another two days after this we had a day off, did dinner together, had so much fun and a great time and went to his room afterwards. We came in and he kissed me right away. Answer to the question why he is doing this since we didnt want that anymore was "because I havent kissed you in a while"..
This was repeated for some more days until he left to go back to the US .. we spent around 3 month with each other and of course, saying bye was hard. Before he left we agreed on just being friends again and that we have to stop having sex from this point.
I tried to live my life while being in Europe, didnt really stay awake to talk to him and actually was glad to have some space. Of course I was excited to fly back in three weeks though.
When I came back, he asked if I want to come over that night to hang out. I was excited to see him though but my flight got delayed, another one cancelled and I ended up getting in around midnight. I went over to his apartment and when I came in he hugged me really long and kissed me. We than went over to the couch and he just held me really tight. We went over into his room and were just laying on his bed cuddling and had sex after a while ..
He took me to see his family (which I've met before) for a big holiday, went to the movies, dinner etc until the day I had to leave.
He had to leave a night before (he chose to) but cried when I came over to say bye .. this time was the hardest time I ever had leaving the states. I cried all day after he left, without even knowing why I did, came back to Germany and now I'm just so unhappy. I miss him a lot, we still agreed on giving each other some space so I can get used to Germany again etc.
I'll be back in September (10 weeks till then) and I need to find out how he feels about this ..
He doesnt talk about his feelings and can have zero emotion if he wants to, so thats hard. One thing I noticed though is that he always made the first step. I would have been to shy and afraid to do something wrong to kiss him etc.
I hope someone has some advise. I am pretty sure that I have feelings at this point, dont want to jeopardize our friendship though.
Thank you all so much in advance
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