LDR ended, our story
Hey
My LDR ended a few days ago and I've been a mess since.
I thought that if I'll write it down it'll be easier, so it's basically going to be a rent about our story, I'm sorry for the overly long thread, I don't really expect anyone to finish the entire thing tbh :P
So we met two years ago on an app called Quizup (some kinda app for, shockingly, quizzes). He's from Turkey, I'm from Israel. We're both Harry Potter addicts and it was a Harry Potter quiz, so we were both very good. We kept rematching for like 20 games, and at the end we started chatting. We were 15 (now 17) and until he got in the picture I didn't have a boyfriend or even a crush before. It was an on-off chatting, with months-long pauses at a time, and I was texting with many people over the world so I didn't pay him much attention. At March he texted me again after a year of no contact, and we played a few games. After that we had a long and amazing conversation, and he promised I won't have to wait that long for the next text.
The next day he texts me, and we have another 5+ hours conversation. It was so easy to talk to him and share my thoughts with him, and it was new to me because I don't normally share my feelings with anyone.
It kept going like this for a few weeks. We started playing a game- the one that loses the match will answer a personal question the winner asks him. We got to know each other better, and I realized how similar we are: both competitive, both been picked up at elementary school but grew out of it, both love the same books and have the same sense of humor. I waited for this chats more and more with each day. At some point he hinted that he's interested- as one question he asked "will you marry me?" and we laughed about it for a while, he started calling me sweetie, and his goodnights were stuff like "goodnight my lady" or "may the moonlight will always shine on your precious eyes". And I loved it, but said nothing because I feared being rejected.
After a while we wanted to send photos of us to one another, so we followed each other on instagram. Then he wanted to share an old voice record of him singing, so we added each other on facebook.
We started talking about him visiting, and cooking for me and such (he's a great cook) and at some point he mentioned a slow dance (because every proper meal includes a slow dance), but it was all hypothetically- I mean, he's just a guy I met online.
Then he offered to play a game- each turn one asks the other a personal question, and if he fails to answer he owes him one. It started easy, but then he asked "whats the most embarrassing thing you thought about me?" By that time I was imagining us together living happily ever after, but obviously I just said that I imagined the meal and dance and all. He asked "and?" and I was like "and nothing, don't push it". I asked him the same question, and he told me he has the same answer but with an extra at the end.. a kiss.
And I was so damn happy. We talked until 4 A.M that night, and again the night after. A few days later we called each other through facebook calls, then we switched to skype and video chatted. And I fell more and more with each day. He sent me good morning every day, and when we video called I was melting every time. I mean, I giggled. And I never giggle, I didn't even know I'm capable of giggling.
We discussed what would happen if it'll become more, and if there's even a possibility for it to BE more. My family is very religious, they almost ruled out my older sister's fiance because he wasn't religious ENOUGH. But I'm an atheist, so I told him I had no problem marrying someone that isn't jewish, and he's an atheist as well so he said he didn't mind too. We didn't dwell on it much anyway, it was such a serious topic and we just started being together.
He said he'll visit in February.
He also told me he had many girlfriends before me. And by many I mean.. many. Like, some "girlfriends" were just a 5-days-thing, others he was with just because he had a bet with a friend he'll make her kiss him in 3 days and such. It was a bit intimidating, but I trusted him and when he said it's different with me I believed him.
One night he was describing how he feels about me on a video chat, and I was just sitting there saying nothing and smiling, so he asked me what I'm thinking about. And I don't remember what I said but at the end his voice was cracked and he told me he loved me. I told him I can't return it yet, and he told me he understood and that he didn't expect me to return it back, he just wanted me to know.
The next day we had a talk about insecurities (and I have LOTS of insecurities). something in this talk made me realize how real it all is and how much I trust him, and i let some of my insecurities go that night. A week later I told him I loved him back.
I was on cloud nine the entire week, more so than usual because ever since we confessed I was already half-flying most of the day.
But then he moved back to his hometown (up until then he lived alone in another city because he wanted to learn in a specific school, but then school was over). The moment he got back to his hometown, he sent less and less messages each day. The day he arrived we didn't talk, and it was the first day ever since March we didn't talk at all with each other. Two days later he told me he got settled and everything's fine, we texted for couple of minutes and then he fell asleep on me (he has this habit and I never cared much, but I hoped he'll want to chat enough so he'll stay awake longer). The next day we chatted when he was at a park, with 30 minutes long pauses each time because he was playing basketball with friends (he didn't tell me he has to go, he just left). Same the next day- just gone for 2 hours because he had a "heated debate" about basketball with friends, then fell asleep again. Then 3 days of nothing.
I got worried, then hurt, then angry. And when he next texted he said he's sorry and that he had a really tough week and after he apologized a bit more I let it pass. He promised me that the next day he's going to be with me the entire time. I fell asleep with the phone on me so god forbid I won't miss his text if he'll text early, but he didn't text at all that day, and the next day all he had to say is "sorry, I fell asleep at 8".
Another fight, another 2 days of ignoring. Then I told him I'm ending this (he still ignored it). Between the time I broke up with him and the time he saw it I got all depressed and I regretted it, and when he answered the text a day later we were both more chilled. He told me he fought with his parents and left home, did bad on his finals and that he got sacked from his basketball team (still hoped he'll come to me for comfort or to share, but ok). Anyway, we worked this out. And we loved each other more afterwards. He sent me a record of a song he wrote (and played and sang.. damn I love this guy) during the time we fought, and he tried harder to make contact at least once a day, or inform me when he can't.
Then he went to visit his grandparents in a village, and he told me there won't be an internet connection there, so it meant no contact for 20 days, but I was completely fine with it, as long as he told me before.
He did try to find places with good enough connection to chat, and he sent me photos of the village and it was perfect. I never felt more sure about the relationship, and I couldn't wait until February. We made so many plans for that visit and fantasized about all the places we'll go and things we'll do.
Then a few days ago, I told my sisters about him. I'm very close to them and they're both older than me (28 and 25).The moment I told them I was dating a muslim guy from Turkey that I've met online they turned crazy mode on. Its not racism or prejudice, I think they were worried mostly about the "online" part, but I guess "muslim" didn't really help. They started crying and talking to me like I'm already doomed, and every time I protected him they just thought he manipulated me. I realized they didn't trust me anymore and I couldn't have that, so I agreed to end things with him. Everything to have their trust back, my sisters are the most important thing to me in the world. They also told me that even if he's real- what did I thought would happen? He won't be able to move here, he won't convert, and am I really going to leave my family behind and move abroad? I realized nothing is going to get out of it anyway and that it's better to end it now or else I'll get more heartbroken later.
So I told him we have to end things. It was SO LONG, like 4 whatsapp screenshots. He didn't answer for 2 days, although he saw it.
Then I told him I'm blocking him on whatsapp and facebook (partly because my sisters wanted me to, and partly because I understood that reading out old texts over and over again won't help me get over him), but that I'm leaving Skype open in case he wants a video call closure. I really didn't want to end this on text. He sent me a message on skype he'll have time when he returns- 27th/28th of August. These past few days were hell. I couldn't stop crying, always depressed, crying myself to sleep every night, losing my appetite.. It's the 29th and still nothing.. and I'm a mess.
I still love him, and I feel like I did the greatest mistake of my life. But it's worse, because I'll never get to know if it was a mistake cus I ended it before it started. Every song reminds me of him, and because we had the same taste in music I can't hear a song without thinking about him, because he loved the singer or it fits to our story and such. I miss him like crazy, and my life seem empty.. I'm just lost and don't know what to do, now that I don't have his texts to wait for at the end of each day.
If you survived the entire thing- first of all respect xD I didn't expect you to :P
And if you have any advice how to get over a breakup, I'd love to hear it.
My LDR ended a few days ago and I've been a mess since.
I thought that if I'll write it down it'll be easier, so it's basically going to be a rent about our story, I'm sorry for the overly long thread, I don't really expect anyone to finish the entire thing tbh :P
So we met two years ago on an app called Quizup (some kinda app for, shockingly, quizzes). He's from Turkey, I'm from Israel. We're both Harry Potter addicts and it was a Harry Potter quiz, so we were both very good. We kept rematching for like 20 games, and at the end we started chatting. We were 15 (now 17) and until he got in the picture I didn't have a boyfriend or even a crush before. It was an on-off chatting, with months-long pauses at a time, and I was texting with many people over the world so I didn't pay him much attention. At March he texted me again after a year of no contact, and we played a few games. After that we had a long and amazing conversation, and he promised I won't have to wait that long for the next text.
The next day he texts me, and we have another 5+ hours conversation. It was so easy to talk to him and share my thoughts with him, and it was new to me because I don't normally share my feelings with anyone.
It kept going like this for a few weeks. We started playing a game- the one that loses the match will answer a personal question the winner asks him. We got to know each other better, and I realized how similar we are: both competitive, both been picked up at elementary school but grew out of it, both love the same books and have the same sense of humor. I waited for this chats more and more with each day. At some point he hinted that he's interested- as one question he asked "will you marry me?" and we laughed about it for a while, he started calling me sweetie, and his goodnights were stuff like "goodnight my lady" or "may the moonlight will always shine on your precious eyes". And I loved it, but said nothing because I feared being rejected.
After a while we wanted to send photos of us to one another, so we followed each other on instagram. Then he wanted to share an old voice record of him singing, so we added each other on facebook.
We started talking about him visiting, and cooking for me and such (he's a great cook) and at some point he mentioned a slow dance (because every proper meal includes a slow dance), but it was all hypothetically- I mean, he's just a guy I met online.
Then he offered to play a game- each turn one asks the other a personal question, and if he fails to answer he owes him one. It started easy, but then he asked "whats the most embarrassing thing you thought about me?" By that time I was imagining us together living happily ever after, but obviously I just said that I imagined the meal and dance and all. He asked "and?" and I was like "and nothing, don't push it". I asked him the same question, and he told me he has the same answer but with an extra at the end.. a kiss.
And I was so damn happy. We talked until 4 A.M that night, and again the night after. A few days later we called each other through facebook calls, then we switched to skype and video chatted. And I fell more and more with each day. He sent me good morning every day, and when we video called I was melting every time. I mean, I giggled. And I never giggle, I didn't even know I'm capable of giggling.
We discussed what would happen if it'll become more, and if there's even a possibility for it to BE more. My family is very religious, they almost ruled out my older sister's fiance because he wasn't religious ENOUGH. But I'm an atheist, so I told him I had no problem marrying someone that isn't jewish, and he's an atheist as well so he said he didn't mind too. We didn't dwell on it much anyway, it was such a serious topic and we just started being together.
He said he'll visit in February.
He also told me he had many girlfriends before me. And by many I mean.. many. Like, some "girlfriends" were just a 5-days-thing, others he was with just because he had a bet with a friend he'll make her kiss him in 3 days and such. It was a bit intimidating, but I trusted him and when he said it's different with me I believed him.
One night he was describing how he feels about me on a video chat, and I was just sitting there saying nothing and smiling, so he asked me what I'm thinking about. And I don't remember what I said but at the end his voice was cracked and he told me he loved me. I told him I can't return it yet, and he told me he understood and that he didn't expect me to return it back, he just wanted me to know.
The next day we had a talk about insecurities (and I have LOTS of insecurities). something in this talk made me realize how real it all is and how much I trust him, and i let some of my insecurities go that night. A week later I told him I loved him back.
I was on cloud nine the entire week, more so than usual because ever since we confessed I was already half-flying most of the day.
But then he moved back to his hometown (up until then he lived alone in another city because he wanted to learn in a specific school, but then school was over). The moment he got back to his hometown, he sent less and less messages each day. The day he arrived we didn't talk, and it was the first day ever since March we didn't talk at all with each other. Two days later he told me he got settled and everything's fine, we texted for couple of minutes and then he fell asleep on me (he has this habit and I never cared much, but I hoped he'll want to chat enough so he'll stay awake longer). The next day we chatted when he was at a park, with 30 minutes long pauses each time because he was playing basketball with friends (he didn't tell me he has to go, he just left). Same the next day- just gone for 2 hours because he had a "heated debate" about basketball with friends, then fell asleep again. Then 3 days of nothing.
I got worried, then hurt, then angry. And when he next texted he said he's sorry and that he had a really tough week and after he apologized a bit more I let it pass. He promised me that the next day he's going to be with me the entire time. I fell asleep with the phone on me so god forbid I won't miss his text if he'll text early, but he didn't text at all that day, and the next day all he had to say is "sorry, I fell asleep at 8".
Another fight, another 2 days of ignoring. Then I told him I'm ending this (he still ignored it). Between the time I broke up with him and the time he saw it I got all depressed and I regretted it, and when he answered the text a day later we were both more chilled. He told me he fought with his parents and left home, did bad on his finals and that he got sacked from his basketball team (still hoped he'll come to me for comfort or to share, but ok). Anyway, we worked this out. And we loved each other more afterwards. He sent me a record of a song he wrote (and played and sang.. damn I love this guy) during the time we fought, and he tried harder to make contact at least once a day, or inform me when he can't.
Then he went to visit his grandparents in a village, and he told me there won't be an internet connection there, so it meant no contact for 20 days, but I was completely fine with it, as long as he told me before.
He did try to find places with good enough connection to chat, and he sent me photos of the village and it was perfect. I never felt more sure about the relationship, and I couldn't wait until February. We made so many plans for that visit and fantasized about all the places we'll go and things we'll do.
Then a few days ago, I told my sisters about him. I'm very close to them and they're both older than me (28 and 25).The moment I told them I was dating a muslim guy from Turkey that I've met online they turned crazy mode on. Its not racism or prejudice, I think they were worried mostly about the "online" part, but I guess "muslim" didn't really help. They started crying and talking to me like I'm already doomed, and every time I protected him they just thought he manipulated me. I realized they didn't trust me anymore and I couldn't have that, so I agreed to end things with him. Everything to have their trust back, my sisters are the most important thing to me in the world. They also told me that even if he's real- what did I thought would happen? He won't be able to move here, he won't convert, and am I really going to leave my family behind and move abroad? I realized nothing is going to get out of it anyway and that it's better to end it now or else I'll get more heartbroken later.
So I told him we have to end things. It was SO LONG, like 4 whatsapp screenshots. He didn't answer for 2 days, although he saw it.
Then I told him I'm blocking him on whatsapp and facebook (partly because my sisters wanted me to, and partly because I understood that reading out old texts over and over again won't help me get over him), but that I'm leaving Skype open in case he wants a video call closure. I really didn't want to end this on text. He sent me a message on skype he'll have time when he returns- 27th/28th of August. These past few days were hell. I couldn't stop crying, always depressed, crying myself to sleep every night, losing my appetite.. It's the 29th and still nothing.. and I'm a mess.
I still love him, and I feel like I did the greatest mistake of my life. But it's worse, because I'll never get to know if it was a mistake cus I ended it before it started. Every song reminds me of him, and because we had the same taste in music I can't hear a song without thinking about him, because he loved the singer or it fits to our story and such. I miss him like crazy, and my life seem empty.. I'm just lost and don't know what to do, now that I don't have his texts to wait for at the end of each day.
If you survived the entire thing- first of all respect xD I didn't expect you to :P
And if you have any advice how to get over a breakup, I'd love to hear it.
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