That's it.

[Elizabeth123]

That's so sad. Please be very good to yourself and keep in touch with us when you're ready.

[MissingMyDutchLove]

Hi everyone,

Thank you so much for the outpouring of love and support! You guys have been an amazing support system during LD these past three years, and I can't imagine what it would have been like without it. Just to explain a little more about my situation as it was a fast post: we are "broken up". I still feel strongly that he is depressed and now his family agrees with me and is concerned, so it's a step in the right direction. He continues to push me away, so there really is nothing else I can do other than make sure he knows that I am there for him if he needs me and make sure that his family knows. You guys are all correct, right now I have to take care of me. I spent the weekend away from the apartment, and I was shocked that the anxiety didn't follow me. I do really need to find a place on my own regardless of what happens right now. In the meantime, it really does feel like nothing is different. If anything, he's even more relaxed with me because he thinks he finally succeeded at pushing me away. I still love him with everything I have and want him to get better. This guy isn't him. I've realized that I don't want this guy, but I do still desperately want the old one. That's the hardest part: trying to remember that there are two of him right now and that the one I've been seeing isn't necessarily the real him. It's hard not to let this new him taint our old memories, but I'm trying my hardest. I hope with everything that I have that the old him comes back to the world some day, even if it's not back to me.

[WarwickGuy]

I'm also sorry to hear, but it's good you've been able to be away from the apartment and be able to manage it mentally. I've heard the Netherlands is a beautiful country, so there must be lots of lovely places to visit! When you move out it can also be an opportunity to make new friends with some nice roommates! It'll help you get out and relax when you need to also It's nice that you're supporting him still, but as others say, remember you're always the first priority.

Just to add, if that guy you liked does return in him and you two consider getting together again do take things slowly, as both sides of him will continue to reside inside.

[Nisha]

You say when you finally decide to be together it may be too late... Well, if it's too late it means that you're going to start another relationship that you won't be able to stop - it can probably be a positive change in your life. If not, you'll be able to reunite again and enter this relationship with new inspiration and strong devotion. This situation isn't as tough as you think it is, you need to be a bit more patient...

[MissingMyDutchLove]

You say when you finally decide to be together it may be too late... Well, if it's too late it means that you're going to start another relationship that you won't be able to stop - it can probably be a positive change in your life. If not, you'll be able to reunite again and enter this relationship with new inspiration and strong devotion. This situation isn't as tough as you think it is, you need to be a bit more patient...

LOL WHAT. Seriously? I moved across the world to be with a guy who dumped me within a week of getting there making me homeless, heartbroken, and dealing with the culture and language that isn't my own. But okay, yeah. You're right. This situation isn't tough at all, and I would all be better if I were more patient (with the guy who has been stringing me along for the past four months, can't make up his mind, and finally decides at the very worst moment that he doesn't want this). I think I have been oozing patience for MONTHS, so yeah sorry if I don't take your comment too kindly.

[Honour]

LOL WHAT. Seriously? I moved across the world to be with a guy who dumped me within a week of getting there making me homeless, heartbroken, and dealing with the culture and language that isn't my own. But okay, yeah. You're right. This situation isn't tough at all, and I would all be better if I were more patient (with the guy who has been stringing me along for the past four months, can't make up his mind, and finally decides at the very worst moment that he doesn't want this). I think I have been oozing patience for MONTHS, so yeah sorry if I don't take your comment too kindly.

I wouldn't even apologise. What a stupid, insensitive comment to make, Nisha.

[UnknownBuddy]

I'm sorry. *healthy hugs* now go! The new lover of your life awaits...

[rache82]

Wow! I'm so sorry to hear this. I know this post is now a few months old so I write this hoping you're OK and have been able to move on a litt;e very harsh though considering you moved there for him. *hugs*

[MissingMyDutchLove]

Wow! I'm so sorry to hear this. I know this post is now a few months old so I write this hoping you're OK and have been able to move on a litt;e very harsh though considering you moved there for him. *hugs*

Hello! Thank you! I suppose it's time for an update anyways, so here it is!

These past few months have been by far the hardest of my life. Hope is a beautiful thing, but it also can be suffocating. For months after the breakup, I still had so much hope that he would come back to me. Eventually though, I realized that I had to let go of that hope in order to move on, and it was shocking what I saw from the other side. What was I thinking!? Why would I ever consider taking someone back who treated me so poorly? There will always be a little pang of sorrow when I think of him as we shared three beautiful years together, but at the end of the day he was just a boy. I am young, but I am at the point in my life that I want marriage and babies and a house. He was never going to give me that in the time frame I wanted because, as mature as he seemed, he was still only 23 and he wasn't ready for that kind of life yet or maybe ever. I learned in the last conversation that we had that he doesn't know how to love. He saw the ebbs and flows of our relationship as proof that he didn't love me as much as he should when in reality EVERY couple goes through those. I feel really sad for him, because if he doesn't learn that, he will never find his forever love. He deserves that love.

After I truly let go, it's been shockingly easy to move on. Right now, I'm focusing on me and having fun. There have definitely been some hard moments in the past few months, but I still don't regret moving here. This experience has been heartbreaking and lonely, but also beautiful and exciting and life-changing. I'm choosing to embrace the crazy, beautiful part of my situation and take advantage of my international experience. A huge thank you again for all of the support you guys have shown me. It will still be a long time until I'm "healed", but I'm well on my way to getting there and finding that forever love I deserve.

[rache82]

Well good for you! I'm so glad to read the positivity in this post. so very glad you've been able to turn the situation around for yourself.
May you keep on moving up from here.