Scam Artist?

[TravelingSolider]

Hello all,

I met someone online and very quickly he confessed his love for me and stated he wanted us to spend the rest of our lives together. Of course, I found this very strange because we had only spoken a few days via emails but kinda romantic too. We exchanged more emails and started talking on Skype. Well, before I knew it he was telling me about his money issues and asking if I could help him out. I declined. I hear too many stories of scammers online. He's not from Nigeria, but the speed at which he's begun to request that I spend him money is a red flag for me.

I know his first and last name. I've seen his pictures and spoken to him on video cam via Skype, so I know he's a living breathing person. But that doesn't mean I'm not dealing with a scam artist here. Recently, he's requested I wire him money. I refused. To be clear, under no circumstances will I be sending anyone any money overseas that I do not know and have yet to met in person. However, despite the fact that I've made it clear that I have no current intentions of sending him any money, he continues talking to me and telling me how much he loves me. He said that he will work hard to get the money on his own, but that it would really help him out if I sent the funds, so we can be together.

Do I just cut this off now and move on? I feel like if he really was a scam artist he'd cut his losses and move on to an easier target. Could he actually just be going through a hard time? If so, how do I communicate to him that I cannot send any money so that he will finally understand without hurting his feelings?

[Ejoriah]

I also find it suspicious that he confessed his love so quickly, and then started asking for money. That screams scam to me, or even if not, someone who has no respect for boundaries. I don't necessarily think he'd move on to another target just because you said no a few times. You hear stories of scam artists who have waited months, if not years, before being revealed for what they are.

Honestly if I were you I would cut my losses. Even if you give him the benefit of the doubt that he's a genuine person with genuine feelings, the fact that he's asking for money so soon and, by the sounds of it, trying to guilt you into it (if you send him the fund, you'll be together quicker!) would be a deal breaker for me.

[sasad]

Oh but scam artist are good.. Look at how you are thinking now..... Has he said when you all would meet up? Does he have a plan? Where does he work? Live? Can you verify all of that? Facebook and other social media show he as a SO? Does he call you by name all the time or is it always a pet name? What about family and his past??
My feeling is its a scam still... he's just milking it to gain your trust.

[Moon]

Hello all,

I met someone online and very quickly he confessed his love for me and stated he wanted us to spend the rest of our lives together. Of course, I found this very strange because we had only spoken a few days via emails but kinda romantic too. We exchanged more emails and started talking on Skype. Well, before I knew it he was telling me about his money issues and asking if I could help him out. I declined. I hear too many stories of scammers online. He's not from Nigeria, but the speed at which he's begun to request that I spend him money is a red flag for me.

I know his first and last name. I've seen his pictures and spoken to him on video cam via Skype, so I know he's a living breathing person. But that doesn't mean I'm not dealing with a scam artist here. Recently, he's requested I wire him money. I refused. To be clear, under no circumstances will I be sending anyone any money overseas that I do not know and have yet to met in person. However, despite the fact that I've made it clear that I have no current intentions of sending him any money, he continues talking to me and telling me how much he loves me. He said that he will work hard to get the money on his own, but that it would really help him out if I sent the funds, so we can be together.

Do I just cut this off now and move on? I feel like if he really was a scam artist he'd cut his losses and move on to an easier target. Could he actually just be going through a hard time? If so, how do I communicate to him that I cannot send any money so that he will finally understand without hurting his feelings?

YES! In case I wasn't clear, YES!!!
Even if he isn't a traditional scam artist, he still sees you as a target. He thinks all the love and romance bullshit will make you relent. How can he "love" anyone after a few emails? He's not moving on because he thinks you're a rich American and a great meal ticket, and if nothing else he can get you to send money so he can "be together" in the US and get a green card for himself. Words are simple, anyone can say "I love you" and not mean a word of it. You communicate to him that you won't send money by making yourself out to be pretty poor and flat out saying that you will not be sending money now, or in the future. You can't and you won't, period. He can go with plan B and actually work hard. I think once you've made it very clear that you aren't an ATM, you won't hear much back from him. I know this is hard to hear, but good luck.

[whatruckus]

Scam. He's just trying to build up your trust in hopes that you will start sending him money.

[Harlequin]

This guy is a scam artist, and he's playing on your heartstrings in order to eventually get you to send him money. These people aren't actually in desperate need of money, so they've got all the time in the world to manipulate you into forking cash over. And, like Moon said, he probably views you as the rich American meal ticket.

You don't really know anything about him other than he apparently is madly in love with you right away, and is supposedly in desperate need of funds. You know *a* full name, but that's not necessarily his. I could say my full name is Samantha Jane Newkirk, but that doesn't mean it's true, you know? You've seen is face, and you know he's somewhere in Europe. Even if this were someone I had met under conditions where I could verify he's not lying about his identity, I would cut contact with him the moment he was like "I love you! Send me money!" That's just red flags galore.

He's no good. Cut ties with him ASAP and don't look back.

[sasad]

Or even better... tell him you had a major emergency like your car broke down and can he send you some money..like 500 or something and see what he says,

[xxcazaxx]

Got to admit I would cut my losses here x

[Honour]

Run for the hills and don't look back.

[Rezie]

Stop talking to him and run. Large red flags with blinky lights and sirens.

[R&R]

Or even better... tell him you had a major emergency like your car broke down and can he send you some money..like 500 or something and see what he says,

This, this, this!!

I had a guy try it once on me and I cried "I'm a single mom with 2 kids and I need help with rent. Can you start paying my rent - send me the money each month????" Never heard from him again.

[NewToLongDistance2016]

Aside from him asking for $, personally I find it creepy as anything for someone I barely know to be confessing their love and desire to marry so early on. I would stop all contact and be careful not to drawn in.

[Katy_G]

Definitely a scam. Drop this one

[Bee'sknees]

I doubt any normal person would ask money from complete strangers. I mean, why would you do that? If you genuinely have feelings for someone, why would you drive them away with that kind of stuff. I don't obviously know where he's from, but many European countries have quite extensive benefits system, so even if he's got some kind of money trouble, surely he should turn to those services or at least his own family. That's seriously some dodgy behaviour.

I mean, people can get scammed even by their IRL partners - I just read about some English lady that had been in a serious relationship with a man, who had all great stories about his fantastic career and all that. He just needed some help to secure his new flat, so she paid he's security deposit. He just needed some financial help to secure deals at work. That kind of stuff. Turns out he had lied about everything, his name, his career, everything. And she ended up losing hundreds of thousands of pounds. So always keep your wits about you when someone asks for money.

[rache82]

Yes, I too smell scam! I'm sorry! Even if it wasn't, there'd be no way that I would be sending money overseas to anyone who I've only spoken to for a few weeks.