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Heartbroken but still hoping

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    Heartbroken but still hoping

    My SO and I have been in a relationship for 21 months now. I’m very happy with him and I’m already envisioning my future with him. Although, I’m not sure if his family already knows about me. When I asked him that, he said they already know about me and asking when he is planning to visit me. If his friends or officemates know about me, I’m also not sure. Our scheduled time of talk is my morning (before I got to work and before he goes home) and in my night (before I go to sleep and before he start to work). We have a 14-hour difference. Our relationship started out fine. We always talk. There are times that he would wake up during his midnight so we could talk. He always wants to have the camera on because he said he always wants to see me. If we’re both busy or one of us is busy, we’ll have at least 10 seconds to see each other. Of course, as time goes by both of us became busy with work so our time to talk somehow lessens. At first, I became frustrated and disappointed with the changes but he assures me that even if we talk less I am always in his mind and heart.
    I don’t know any of his friends and even his roommate. There was a time that he was so sick, he was diagnosed with chikungunya. He went offline for 3 days and I can’t contact him. I was so worried. I was thinking at that time that if something really bad happens to him, I would not know. He doesn’t have a Facebook account. It’s just Skype and email for us. That’s the time I keep looking for him on Google, searching for other means to contact him. He went online after 3 days, although he’s not feeling well and told me not to worry. I just advised him not to lock his door so his roommate can check on him once in a while. I feel so helpless at that time.

    After that incident I asked him of his phone number in case he went offline again for that long I will be able to call him. He gave me his mobile number which was issued by their company. And when I asked for his personal number, he said he doesn’t have one. Which made me think, how come he won’t have a personal one? What phone is he using when the company has not yet given him a company phone? But I didn’t ask him that. The mobile number he gave me is different from the number indicated on his Skype profile, which I assume is owned by the owner of the house he is renting.

    Forward to now…

    I decided to install and try Whatsapp because some of my friends are using it. He appears on my contact list. But I didn’t sent him a message. Although I told him I know he has Whatsapp. He said his officemates is using that app to contact him. I didn’t mind, I intend to stay on Skype. I just visit Whatsapp to check if he is online (he is offline/invisible on Skype, he said to avoid being disturb by others). One time, we just said goodbye on Skype and he said he will go to sleep. I saw him still online on Whatsapp and I decided to tease him telling him that he should go to sleep because it’s really late. He replied and agreed with me.
    The next day, he even compliment my picture on Whatsapp. After that, when I check his account, he doesn’t go online anymore. We continued talking on Skype. One night, I decided to include the number on his Skype on my contact list. It automatically appears on my Whatsapp, with his other number (his company number) and different name. Which goes online every time I know he is also online on Skype.

    That’s when I felt hurt and disappointed and I guess a little paranoid. I then sent him a message on Skype, telling him that I think our relationship won’t work and we have to end it. Wished him well and bid goodbye. He only replied with my name. We didn’t talk since then. No message from him either. No questions. (I didn’t told him about the Whatsapp thing).

    But silly me, since I really love him and already hoped he will be part of my future and still hoping he will ask me to try again, sent him an email. Telling him my plans of our future, of me leaving my family eventhough we’re very close because I know that it will be hard for him to adjust in my country because of the language barrier and culture. Of us building our own family. But that won’t be possible since until now I’m still his secret girlfriend. Then I told him about the Whatsapp thing. And asked him to tell me what I need to know. Until now, he hasn’t replied on my email. Not sure if he already ready it and just decided to ignore it or he hasn’t read it yet.

    I know I’ve been harsh on my decision, breaking up without giving him a chance to explain. But I don’t get why he hasn’t even tried to talk to me. He just let it be.
    I’m really brokenhearted about this. I really love him. I want him back but if it’s easy for him to let it go then maybe he doesn’t want this as much as I do.

    I just need to let this out. Your opinions and advice will be appreciated. Thanks

    #2
    You've ended it, so just leave it at that. You caught him lying, I'd say it's over. Just focus on yourself.

    Comment


      #3
      If i were him, i'd feel you were going psycho girlfriend on him, tracking his every move. Sure, there is a clear lack of communication, but still. And the thing about just having the company's phone... trust me, it's a very latin american thing to do. I know people who work like this because they loathe having multiple phones.

      Also, being dumped by text message/email is rude as hell, you could've called him, having his phone number and talk things through. Maybe that's why he doesn't want to reply to you?

      Comment


        #4
        I'm just thinking maybe if I talked to him first it might end differently. But seeing that he's not doing anything about this makes me think that I made the right decision. Though I miss him so bad.

        Thanks for your advice anyway.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Redheart14 View Post
          You've ended it, so just leave it at that. You caught him lying, I'd say it's over. Just focus on yourself.
          I'm just thinking maybe if I talked to him first it might end differently. But seeing that he's not doing anything about this makes me think that I made the right decision. Though I miss him so bad.

          Thanks for your advice anyway.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by pizza_heart View Post
            If i were him, i'd feel you were going psycho girlfriend on him, tracking his every move. Sure, there is a clear lack of communication, but still. And the thing about just having the company's phone... trust me, it's a very latin american thing to do. I know people who work like this because they loathe having multiple phones.

            Also, being dumped by text message/email is rude as hell, you could've called him, having his phone number and talk things through. Maybe that's why he doesn't want to reply to you?
            Checking him on Whatsapp is just my way of checking if he's going to be online since he's always invisible on Skype. Nothing more. But yeah, it made me look like a psycho girlfriend. Guess I'll just have to deal with my decision and move on.

            Comment

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