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GF left me, need someone to talk to (shorter version of my previous thread)

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    GF left me, need someone to talk to (shorter version of my previous thread)

    ME=23
    HER= 26

    Last year in October I was on chatroulette and met this gorgeous looking girl from Thailand. At first she said she will skip me but after me being so persistant, she said she likes my confidence and we soon exchanged contacts.

    We talked for 3 weeks all the time on skype 24/7, even brought laptop into bed to see eachother fall asleep. She said she likes honesty and that she broke up with her LDR bf 2 or 3 months ago and wasnt looking for anyone.

    After these 3 weeks she went on a trip with a friend "lets call him person 1" whom she found really hot but said she had no feelings for (and is a real womanizer she said, that she has sex with a lot of girls and that they dated a little). I know Ive developed feelings for her but didnt really tell her. When she was on the trip, I told her I started to love her and have a LDR with her. She said she wants to have some noughty time on the trip and I was really sad.

    After she came back from the trip she said that she is sorry and didnt know I developed feelings for her. She said she also did for me and wont see. I said its okay and lets work on it. She agreed and said she can take LDR but if I will be serious, since when shes in a relationship, she invests everything in it.

    Time went by, we skyped/facetimed 24/7, messaged eachother all the time, showed affection. She even baked a cake for my bday and ate in front of cam.

    So I went to visit her in february and everything was great, we travelled whole Thailand (splitting bills 50:50), got to meet her mom and a few relatives, who found me amazing.

    After a month in Thailand I had to return, she drove me to the airpoirt and we kissed goodbye and she promised to visit me the next time when she has more money.

    When I got back, we kept talking all the time, sending eachother pictures of what we were doing and so on. She said I am the one and that some fortune-teller told her she will be together with me in 5 years. We promised eachother to work towards this goal and to see eachother as much as possible. She kept saying how much she likes to travel and that she wants to see the world.

    During this time she has failed her last year of Architecture school and said to repeat the last semester in janurary 2017. Meanwhile she also started her brand selling bags and shoes. Her designs are amazing... I thought and was there for her supporting her, thinking we will be able to earn enough money to see eachother more often. The brand is developing very well.

    So september comes and we still talk. She dyes her hair for like 200 euro (8000 thai baht) and man she was gorgeous 10/10. But I thought it would be better to save the money to see eachother. A few days later she tells me that person 1 contacted her again to go on a trip with him. I said I am not okay with it but that she can go, since I trust her unconditionally and she promised nothing will happened:
    -she really proved to be honest and not lie: when I was with her in Thailand, all her storied matched - about her exes etc (she told me she keeps contact with everyone and likes to see how people think, and so on... thats why she didnt next me on chatroulette since she didnt find me attractive but smart). She kept her mobile and laptop unlocked, but I never checked her conversations even if she told me I can if i want to. She said she has nothing to hide.

    Anyway, after this 3 day trip which turned out 4 day trip, we kept in contact quite often. She sent me a picture of separate bed and so on. After she came back, she out of nowhere said "I wanna be free, I wanna experience world and travel". I didnt even feel anxious, It was just like: I trusted you unconditionally and now this. I told her I want to work on relationship with her and she said ok but that she wants it more "open", to meet new people and have physical sex and that she still loves me dearly. I said I wanna work towards us living together. THen she said she has to admit that she had sex with person 1 two times, first two times she resisted, the other 2 nights she couldnt.

    We skype a little and she cried and says she wants to be free and that this person 1 is coming to visit her again.

    I blocked her and said goodbye and to contact me when she makes up her mind, since I find her the most amazing, caring girl.

    I was little sad, not too much, still functioned normally, but man I thought I lost a diamond.

    After 3 days she contacted me that she is feeling unhappy and that she is sorry (over SMS since i blocked all other contacts).

    I called her again and we talked during her lunch with mom. She said she wants to be free again and that time is not right as she doesnt want to commit. But still like to keep contact with me and see what im doing and so on. She said I can come visit her in Thailand when Im there and sleep over and that she still has plan to come to Europe if she has money during summer.

    Then I blocked her number and also her mom on Facebook (i told her mom that I still have feelings for her and that I cant stand seeing her with other guys and to have a good time and hopefully see eachother in future).

    I wanted to share story with you, since I feel a lot less ok today than I did on the day she broke up with me a few days ago. I feel like I lost most caring, loving girls to a distance. And I also wonder how much she lied to me but I come to the same conclusion that she is the most honest being I met...

    I just dont know what to think. In future, after I heal, I would like to add her on facebook again. I had a few hookups and a 2 year relationship before, but I never experienced a girl looking at me, cooking for me, talking with me so affectionate

    Edit1: she also told me she dyed her hair before person 1 even contacted her for the trip and that she cannot resist.
    To add: during this year of being together she kept mentioning how much she needs hugging, kissing and when I was with her in Thailand, she always kept sniffing me, which I found soooo hooot, she said she likes to exeperience tastes and smells.
    She likes to experience sensation.

    Maybe ldr with her would never work out since she needs someone close and really loved me or do you guys see another problem?

    I really dont think I can find such an amazing, hot, smart girl again. Her gestures were out of this world

    EDIT 2: I was tempted by cheating while still loving her deeply and I consider myself doing for my beloved one. I never thought I could even think about it but I guess it happens.. except I probably wouldnt be so honest with her.

    #2
    Best of luck moving on.

    Comment


      #3
      Stop rating women. You gave her a 10/10 and in your long version tell how you had relations with 7's etc.
      let her go, and pls stop treating us like meat.

      Comment


        #4
        I wish I had a 10/10

        Comment


          #5
          I guess its better not to rate and betray

          Than get what you want and care for it like its your diamond?

          Comment


            #6
            It's important that the person you date or are in a relationship with have the qualities you look for. For me: honesty, trustworthy, caring, love of family, hard worker, sense of humor, able to communicate and we need to have a physical chemistry. I think my SO is handsome but I didn't "rate" him. Over time, looks are going to change. We get older, our bodies change, our appearances change. Substance comes from so many things inside the person and their actions. If you are only basing a person on a 10/10 on looks, then you will always end up disappointed.

            Oh, and if you put serious thought into cheating - you didn't love her. Can you see another person and think they are attractive? Sure. But when you seriously considering putting into action cheating then you are putting your selfish needs over your SO and your relationship and that's not love.
            To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

            ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by needalittlesupport View Post
              I guess its better not to rate and betray

              Than get what you want and care for it like its your diamond?

              Why stay with anyone who you really feel is less than a 10? Really think about it. If you think your partner is less than a 10, there is a problem. No one is perfect, but there may be someone out there perfect for you. If you've rated them less than a 10, you've already decided that they are not perfect for you. Everyone has imperfections. When you rate someone a 10, though, that does not mean that they are your possession that you take care of like they are your diamond.

              I am no one's possession. I am my own person. If my partner doesn't think that I'm a 10, there is someone out there who will. I wouldn't stay with anyone who admittedly rates me less than the best.

              Also, if you were contemplating cheating, you never were hers. You were up for grabs for everybody.

              Comment


                #8
                I dated a guy for 5 years who was consider "hot" by a lot of other girls, he was an asshole. And, he cheated on me, multiple times. Also, he basically told me I was a piece of crap on the daily. So I mean, just because they're "hot" on the outside doesn't mean they're going to be as attractive on the inside.

                I also agree with the other ladies. Why be with someone if all you can think about is cheating? Why date someone only for their looks? That's stupid.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by whatruckus View Post
                  I also agree with the other ladies. Why be with someone if all you can think about is cheating? Why date someone only for their looks? That's stupid.
                  I'm not sure if I'm the only one who thought this, but the term "Trophy Wife/Girlfriend" came to mind...

                  "Beauty is only skin deep." "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." "Looks aren't everything."

                  People say these sayings for a reason.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Honour View Post
                    I'm not sure if I'm the only one who thought this, but the term "Trophy Wife/Girlfriend" came to mind...

                    "Beauty is only skin deep." "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." "Looks aren't everything."

                    People say these sayings for a reason.
                    Yes!!! I forgot about that!

                    Comment

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