Feeling disconnected

[Diamondsworth]

Hey everyone, I just wanted to find a place to be able to vent about my ldr struggles as of late. None of my friends are in them so although they try to provide me with some support, they don't understand what me and my sig other is going through.

Me and my fiance have been doing long distance between canada and europe for a year and 2 months now. Although we get to see eachother for the summer months (thank god) we still have 2 more years to go and its just so hard (as you guys all know). I've been feeling so disconnected from him lately mentally and physically. We talk everyday, but its so different being with the person face to face than it is having to describe your day to day actions to the person over the phone or facetime because they're not there. To make things even more challenging, hes 8 hours ahead so we can only talk during certain times of his day and my day - I think this is what also contributes to the feelings of disconnectedness. It sucks not being able to talk to him before bed or after I get off work. Its really making me feel so sad these days. Anyone else relating to this?

[R&R]

Welcome to LFAD. You will find lots of good reading here on the boards that will help you.

My SO and I only live 1,000 miles apart but we haven't seen each other in almost 16 months. We are both very busy in our lives at home and our contact has been pretty limited. We text each day. We talk just about every day. What I have figured out is that it is the quality of the talks and not the quantity. It may not be the timing that you want, but if your talks and discussions are fulfilling to you, that's what should matter. They physical portion of the relationship is going to be set aside when you are apart - that's just a fact about an LDR. Some people will keep shirts with their SO's scent on it to have to sleep with. It's important to focus on what you can do and what you do have instead of what you don't.

You can live with someone and they be on a separate work schedule. They aren't there to say good night and you might already be gone by the time the get home. This isn't just an LDR issue. Even if you both work during the day and come home to each other at night - you are going to be talking about your day. Yes, they may be sitting across from you instead of on the phone or Facetime but it's still the same conversation.

[rache82]

I can do, as we can only voice chat once a week due to our schedules, being 15 hours a part and so on. We text every day although some days, it seems like he hardly communicates with me.
I did read somewhere that it's at least helpful if the couple can, whatever they do, send a message the other when they first wake up and when they go to bed. My SO and I have always done that and trust me, it does help with the disconnected issues.

Best of luck! It is so very easy to have these feelings in LDR's. You are certainly not alone.