Meeting her in 14 days and I am having issues.
Hello all!
I've been following this forum since pretty long time and I am not sure if my post goes in here. Apologies if it didn't and thanks a lot for reading this and I hope to have your valuable insights.
I am 26 years old and my SO will be 30 next week. We both met online playing video games, it's already been 3 months in our relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend. This is the best ever experience that I had ever in my life being with her. She's divorced with a son turning 6 soon and it was really hard for me to accept that fact and I do respect that and I'll be meeting her on our 4th month together. I know she loves me a lot and wants to spend her rest of the life with me. I feel the same as we have a great chemistry together and we understand each other better even though we have cultural and religious differences.
We usually have minor conflicts between us like everyone of us do here and we do solve those issues by talking to each other about it. These 3 months had bought many number of incidents that made us to be there for each other, comfortable and support each other emotionally and mentally. In the initial stages of our relationship She told me that she had a boyfriend when she was in university, she broke up with him eventually and with the time she was in relationship with father of her son and due to some personal and trust issues (I don't want to discuss them over public forum) she divorced him 3 years back.
Me on other hand I am still a Virgin and I do believe that I'll spend my special time with the special one that I'll find in future. I was so excited and I was on the 7th cloud when I started my relationship with my SO. And I used to feel that she's the one for me as we always had so super good chemistry and we were planning on spending some personal time together on my visit.
Couple of days ago due to some circumstances I was mad at her when she told me that she used to flirt with a guy on the video games, she started to like him. This guy also proposed a plan to meet her as he was visiting her country (she doesn't even know that I existed at this time and this incident happened couple of months before I met my SO). My SO rejected his proposal and the distances were made with this guy.
After hearing this I was mad and asked her the differences between me and the other guy discussed in the above paragraph as we both met her online on the same video game, she liked her and me too, she used to flirt with him and me too. I don't know if I was being jealous or possessive or I just didn't wanted my girlfriend to be in relationship with someone else. On this my SO tried to comfort me saying that she never felt the things she's feeling for me ever in her life with anyone else.
I wasn't satisfied with that and asked her to tell me everything that she had gone through in the past. My SO told me that she will be honest with me and she will tell me everything that happened in her past. So she sent me an email the morning and I was at work, after reading her email I was completely broken and couldn't concentrate on my work and I had to take a work off. Her email states each and every incident where she had physical relationships and it made me completely collapsed. I wish she could had told me these before we agreed to be in a relationship as I asked her about it, she kept this as a secret or maybe there was something else.
I spoke to my SO later that night and how bad I was collapse and all my things for her shattered. She told me that was her past, she can't change it and she was trying to be a better person since a year and half. She also told me that she loves me and doesn't want to breakup with me, she wants us to get married and she was never in her life as honest as she is now. I listened to her with my eyes wet and she was weeping too, I sensed the pain of her that she didn't wanted to be away from me.
The same night I agreed with her believing that everything she said is truth, she was being honest. I told her that I am not going to breakup and I will be giving our relationship a chance more as we are in deep love with each other. It was a relief for me that night but this wasn't it.
Even though I told her that I'll not break-up with her, I still have a weird feeling about our relationship. I wrote the following text in my LDR diary that I'm documenting everyday "Walking on the streets I can't look at females, it reminds me of the incidents and accidents that happened in her life. I can't watch romantic movies too. I don't know what's wrong with me. Recalling yesterday's incidents makes my eyes filled with tears, her past I'm trying to overcome."
I am not sure what shall I do now, I still want to give it a try and visit her country as planned and see what happens between us with a hope that we will have the same feelings for each other.
I will really appreciate if you guys can give your insights on my current scenario and how should I react.
Thanks.
I've been following this forum since pretty long time and I am not sure if my post goes in here. Apologies if it didn't and thanks a lot for reading this and I hope to have your valuable insights.
I am 26 years old and my SO will be 30 next week. We both met online playing video games, it's already been 3 months in our relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend. This is the best ever experience that I had ever in my life being with her. She's divorced with a son turning 6 soon and it was really hard for me to accept that fact and I do respect that and I'll be meeting her on our 4th month together. I know she loves me a lot and wants to spend her rest of the life with me. I feel the same as we have a great chemistry together and we understand each other better even though we have cultural and religious differences.
We usually have minor conflicts between us like everyone of us do here and we do solve those issues by talking to each other about it. These 3 months had bought many number of incidents that made us to be there for each other, comfortable and support each other emotionally and mentally. In the initial stages of our relationship She told me that she had a boyfriend when she was in university, she broke up with him eventually and with the time she was in relationship with father of her son and due to some personal and trust issues (I don't want to discuss them over public forum) she divorced him 3 years back.
Me on other hand I am still a Virgin and I do believe that I'll spend my special time with the special one that I'll find in future. I was so excited and I was on the 7th cloud when I started my relationship with my SO. And I used to feel that she's the one for me as we always had so super good chemistry and we were planning on spending some personal time together on my visit.
Couple of days ago due to some circumstances I was mad at her when she told me that she used to flirt with a guy on the video games, she started to like him. This guy also proposed a plan to meet her as he was visiting her country (she doesn't even know that I existed at this time and this incident happened couple of months before I met my SO). My SO rejected his proposal and the distances were made with this guy.
After hearing this I was mad and asked her the differences between me and the other guy discussed in the above paragraph as we both met her online on the same video game, she liked her and me too, she used to flirt with him and me too. I don't know if I was being jealous or possessive or I just didn't wanted my girlfriend to be in relationship with someone else. On this my SO tried to comfort me saying that she never felt the things she's feeling for me ever in her life with anyone else.
I wasn't satisfied with that and asked her to tell me everything that she had gone through in the past. My SO told me that she will be honest with me and she will tell me everything that happened in her past. So she sent me an email the morning and I was at work, after reading her email I was completely broken and couldn't concentrate on my work and I had to take a work off. Her email states each and every incident where she had physical relationships and it made me completely collapsed. I wish she could had told me these before we agreed to be in a relationship as I asked her about it, she kept this as a secret or maybe there was something else.
I spoke to my SO later that night and how bad I was collapse and all my things for her shattered. She told me that was her past, she can't change it and she was trying to be a better person since a year and half. She also told me that she loves me and doesn't want to breakup with me, she wants us to get married and she was never in her life as honest as she is now. I listened to her with my eyes wet and she was weeping too, I sensed the pain of her that she didn't wanted to be away from me.
The same night I agreed with her believing that everything she said is truth, she was being honest. I told her that I am not going to breakup and I will be giving our relationship a chance more as we are in deep love with each other. It was a relief for me that night but this wasn't it.
Even though I told her that I'll not break-up with her, I still have a weird feeling about our relationship. I wrote the following text in my LDR diary that I'm documenting everyday "Walking on the streets I can't look at females, it reminds me of the incidents and accidents that happened in her life. I can't watch romantic movies too. I don't know what's wrong with me. Recalling yesterday's incidents makes my eyes filled with tears, her past I'm trying to overcome."
I am not sure what shall I do now, I still want to give it a try and visit her country as planned and see what happens between us with a hope that we will have the same feelings for each other.
I will really appreciate if you guys can give your insights on my current scenario and how should I react.
Thanks.
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