Desperate for help :'(

[lionrawr97]

So my boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months. Almost 2 months into the LDR. It was fantastic at the start! He's such a loving guy and he's super duper understanding. Over the summer, the both of us bonded like never before and he kept telling me that we will overcome ANYTHING in this LDR to make it work. I will only be able to see him next summer (2017) so thats unfortunate However, starting from last week, he has been very unresponsive when texting. We skyped over the weekend and I asked him. He told me that he's not much of a texter and it sometimes feels like a chore. But he still loves me the same way and that will never change. It was nice getting the reassurance from him. However, since that skype call, things have been going downhill. From not being responsive to my texts to not replying me. We skyped again yesterday and i noticed he was feeling down so I asked him and he said he just doesnt feel like talking. But he still says I love you and wishes me good morning. I'm freaking out. Everything before this week has been so perfect! What in the world happened? Please tell me what I should do. I keep thinking he will break up with me which is a NIGHTMARE.

[hmrambling]

Welcome to LFAD!

If this behavior has been for one week, I might give it time as he might be busy. This time of year is pretty busy for students. My partner is a teacher and I know she's pretty busy. I focus on my hobbies, interests, job, and friends. I do the things I love to keep busy.

However, if the behavior continues, I would certainly address it. Both my partner and I talked about what good communication looks like for both of us. We text good morning to each other in the mornings, and talk on the phone in the evenings. Both of us are pretty busy so it would be tough to do much more than that during the week. Have the two of you discussed what you want your communication to look like? If so, that's a start. If not, you might want to have that conversation.

Also, don't sit in worry that someone else will break up with you. If things are not working for you, and you have tried to work it out and got no resolution, then it is okay for you to say that it is not working for you. It's okay to have a standard, and some ground rules, and let other people know when they are not meeting that standard or are breaking your ground rules.

[Sparkling72]

I see your age is 19, and you're starting a new chapter in your life, one that should be fun, exciting, and all about discovering who you are as an adult. I was in an LDR with an army guy when I was 19 and at that time, we could only write each other letters and mail them and he only called me on the phone twice a week because long distance calling was so expensive. We, too, fell fast and hard, but it was difficult to maintain that LDR. He and I agreed to keep things as they were - write letters and talk when we could afford to, but also live our lives and not worry about being as serious as we would if we lived closer. Maybe the two of you can just be friends until you can see each other again next summer. That would take the pressure off of both you, and you would worry a lot less! Feelings don't have to change, just approaches. Perhaps he is struggling with how to cope or how to maintain a relationship also?