Hey guys I need your advice about my situation. I know I have to talk about this with my SO, but right now I have difficulities to put my feelings, worries in words, that´s why I am writing here.
So first I little background to me and my SO:
We recently celebrated our 6 year anniversary. Three years ago we had some sort of major crisis. Him considering splitting up with me, because we kind of did not see a way how to close the distance. We then decided to give it another try and make a real effort to close the distance, stop playing games and be serious. I had big luck and found an awesome job much closer to him. So long distance became "Weekend-relationship", things were awesome for a good amount of time.
But then reality caught us again. After my boyfriend graduated, it took him some month to apply for new jobs/internship. Then he got huge reality check, meaning he did not find anything in his field of study(or remotely related to it). And he tried really hard then. Needless to say, that had a bad impact on our relationship. Again it seemed impossible move forward. I had some health troubles as well and was unhappy with my living situation. Basically everything really sucked. He was desperate and worried to see me in a bad place and not be able to give me real help. I decided to move to a new apartment. Things improved.
We decided to wait until the end of his working contract, he then wanted to come to my place trying to find a job there. Short before that, there came up a huge opportunity for him, which changed everything. He started a course and also an internship (both of it in his home country but different place- meaning that we are now a bit further away again, but that not really the issue).
I am glad, more than glad that this opportunity came up, it does give him a real perspective to work in his field of study. The only thing is, since we were trying to close the distance for so long and we failed serveral times, In a bit more than 4 month his internship will be finished. We made the deal to see who has the better job offer/job situation then, and based on that we will see who is going to move.
Until recently I was fine, but lately I start having doubts (old doubts so to speak). I feel kind of exhausted right now. I am tired of seeing my friends, moving in with their boyfriends, getting married and start talking about kids. Them having the "oh...things just naturally develop and feel SO right"- experience. And I am basically still at the same place, being worried how to close the distance.
He promised me to improve his language skills in my native language (I do the same with his). I guess he hasn´t done much in that direction. He tries hard to answer me in German when I talk or write to him, but he doesn´t make an effort by himself.
I talked to him about what will happen when he finishes his internship. I suggested he should come to live with me until he has a job. He says it is a good idea but he is clearly not enthusiastic about it. I asked him about that, he says he just moved one month ago, he doesn´t want to think about moving again (right now) and making this next step is scary for him.
He recently has become a bit "lazy" when it comes to being affectionate towards me. The same time he did put a lot of effort to make my visits at his place a great experience. He comes up with thoughtful gifts, he cooks dinner even though, he was working the whole day. He will try to take days of to come to visit me in December... So
He recently told me, he is a bit exhausted and (and probably overwhelmed), many things changed for him in this past 3, 4 months.
I am a bit confused. Whether I see problems where there are none, or I try do something that is not really meant to be (=closing the distance)... I don´t know how to get a clear head. Any advice is appreciated...
So first I little background to me and my SO:
We recently celebrated our 6 year anniversary. Three years ago we had some sort of major crisis. Him considering splitting up with me, because we kind of did not see a way how to close the distance. We then decided to give it another try and make a real effort to close the distance, stop playing games and be serious. I had big luck and found an awesome job much closer to him. So long distance became "Weekend-relationship", things were awesome for a good amount of time.
But then reality caught us again. After my boyfriend graduated, it took him some month to apply for new jobs/internship. Then he got huge reality check, meaning he did not find anything in his field of study(or remotely related to it). And he tried really hard then. Needless to say, that had a bad impact on our relationship. Again it seemed impossible move forward. I had some health troubles as well and was unhappy with my living situation. Basically everything really sucked. He was desperate and worried to see me in a bad place and not be able to give me real help. I decided to move to a new apartment. Things improved.
We decided to wait until the end of his working contract, he then wanted to come to my place trying to find a job there. Short before that, there came up a huge opportunity for him, which changed everything. He started a course and also an internship (both of it in his home country but different place- meaning that we are now a bit further away again, but that not really the issue).
I am glad, more than glad that this opportunity came up, it does give him a real perspective to work in his field of study. The only thing is, since we were trying to close the distance for so long and we failed serveral times, In a bit more than 4 month his internship will be finished. We made the deal to see who has the better job offer/job situation then, and based on that we will see who is going to move.
Until recently I was fine, but lately I start having doubts (old doubts so to speak). I feel kind of exhausted right now. I am tired of seeing my friends, moving in with their boyfriends, getting married and start talking about kids. Them having the "oh...things just naturally develop and feel SO right"- experience. And I am basically still at the same place, being worried how to close the distance.
He promised me to improve his language skills in my native language (I do the same with his). I guess he hasn´t done much in that direction. He tries hard to answer me in German when I talk or write to him, but he doesn´t make an effort by himself.
I talked to him about what will happen when he finishes his internship. I suggested he should come to live with me until he has a job. He says it is a good idea but he is clearly not enthusiastic about it. I asked him about that, he says he just moved one month ago, he doesn´t want to think about moving again (right now) and making this next step is scary for him.
He recently has become a bit "lazy" when it comes to being affectionate towards me. The same time he did put a lot of effort to make my visits at his place a great experience. He comes up with thoughtful gifts, he cooks dinner even though, he was working the whole day. He will try to take days of to come to visit me in December... So
He recently told me, he is a bit exhausted and (and probably overwhelmed), many things changed for him in this past 3, 4 months.
I am a bit confused. Whether I see problems where there are none, or I try do something that is not really meant to be (=closing the distance)... I don´t know how to get a clear head. Any advice is appreciated...
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