Feeling Distrust from girlfriend

[Unleash]

Thanks Lilian for posting this. I love you. Just to let you know that I am greedy when it comes to you.....!

And thanks to all the members for reflecting their views on my issue, I really appreciate it.

[C.C.]

Just to let you know that I am greedy when it comes to you.....!

This is not cute. It is something someone really possessive would say. Also, it's NOT OKAY if you really got mad at her for talking to a guy she was just being friends with and if you insisted AND threatened her she cut contact with him. I hate lying more than anything but even if she did in that situation and considering how much pressure she was under, I would say it's kind of understandable.

[sasad]

This is not cute. It is something someone really possessive would say. Also, it's NOT OKAY if you really got mad at her for talking to a guy she was just being friends with and if you insisted AND threatened her she cut contact with him. I hate lying more than anything but even if she did in that situation and considering how much pressure she was under, I would say it's kind of understandable.

Reread the original post... there is s lot of stuff going on.. She also kept him waiting over two hours, playing with the other guy, on a date night.. That is a reason to be upset imo. And I think you are possibly reading a bit too much in his .. I'm greedy.. comment. I sometimes feel that way with my SO, and if anyone says they haven't felt neglected at ANY point in their relationship, then they are still in the honeymoon stage or lying.. It's human nature.

[C.C.]

Reread the original post... there is s lot of stuff going on.. She also kept him waiting over two hours, playing with the other guy, on a date night.. That is a reason to be upset imo.

I know that she did that and it's not good behaviour by any means, but his reaction feels off as well. If I see that my SO spends too much time with another person and neglects me, I ask them to balance things better not to cut the contact altogether. She's just as wrong for thinking that it's the right way btw.
Also I have many friends who play Dota and I have played LoL myself for hours and hours and as awful it is as a fact, it isn't necessarily because of the guy she was playing with but because of her own irresponsibility and addictiveness. Also, as weird as it is to say, playing a Dota game with someone doesn't necessarily mean you are talking with them. It's just a freaking game which is more fun with people you are used to playing with.
Him adding the guy and asking her about him shows that he was not just upset but jealous. And he contacted the guy practically immediately after she told him that she wouldn't talk to him the first time = lack of trust from the beginning.

TL;DR I don't justify her behaviour by any means, but I don't think her behaviour necessarily justifies someone's jealousy either.
And it's not a game to just break up every minute you feel neglected and then get back together.

And I think you are possibly reading a bit too much in his .. I'm greedy.. comment. I sometimes feel that way with my SO, and if anyone says they haven't felt neglected at ANY point in their relationship, then they are still in the honeymoon stage or lying.. It's human nature.

Yeah it's mostly everything else that is causing my reaction rather than that comment itself.

[snow]

TL;DR I don't justify her behaviour by any means, but I don't think her behaviour necessarily justifies someone's jealousy either.
And it's not a game to just break up every minute you feel neglected and then get back together.


Yeah it's mostly everything else that is causing my reaction rather than that comment itself.

But she WAS talking to that guy and she WAS spending time with him when she was supposed to spend the time with her BF because it was their agreement they would. I play Dota a lot, but if my husband said he wanted to call me at a certain time, I would make time for him instead of playing that game. Don't ignore what she was saying. They talked, Dota is just another factor.

OP and GF, I don't think we were judging you for falling asleep, but most of us were confused of the sudden change. We didn't know you changed a job and obviously that affects a LOT! Anything that's going on in your life and that changes, you need to communicate with your significant other - and that goes for the both of you. If this was talked about, no one's feelings would have gotten hurt by either of you falling asleep!

When it comes to cutting friendships for your SO, I don't believe that's the right way to go about things, but I am not you guys and you have a choice to do with your life whatever you want to. If that person was a random Dota player and you don't mind, eh who cares?

[erwin1973]

I agree with Snow that communication is key. In any relationship. It's good to know both sides of the story - and probably the truth will be somewhere in the middle, as usual. Where two fight, two are to blame. I know what I'm talking about.

[Chris516]

OP, Your SO's lying is bad enough. That is a deal breaker right there.