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    #1

    My SO is often ill, what can I do

    Hello everybody.

    Finally found the login button again. Took me a while...

    Well... It's quite a long story but I try to keep it short.

    Since about 9 months my SO is living in a different place then her own house - with her parents and 2 of her 3 sisters, and the 2 children in the family (her daughter and the daughter of her youngest sister). They have a nice little place in town, but due to circumstances they had to move to a resort at the beach. The BF of her youngest sister is paying for that, and they all stay there.

    Now you would think that living directly at the beach is quite healhy. Fact is, that since they live there, both my SO and her daughter are ill about every month. And she assured me that was not the case in town - they used to live in a suburb. She's having this dry, wracking cough now for over a week and no medication seems to help. I am getting very worried.

    She refuses to go to see a doctor, because she says they are no good out there.

    May be it sounds like a stupid question, but - apart from praying - what can I do?

    Tnx.
    Distance means nothing when someone means everything.

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    #2
    From my experience, not much. Just communicate your concern but don't be overbearing, and try not to add to her stress. Also, try to see to it that she gets time to sleep, as much as it pertains to you. You could also send a care package or order something online to help her feel better. Best of luck!
    sigpic

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      #3
      Thank you.
      The problem with sending her by regular post is that it takes 4 to 6 weeks to arrive...
      I try not to be overconcerned... It's dfficult, though. :P
      Distance means nothing when someone means everything.

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        #4
        Coughs can last for months, even with praying. She'll probably be fine.

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          #5
          Obviously it could be anything but sounds like could be mold or other dampness damage at the house.

          You can't really do anything other than suggest seeing a doctor. If she disagrees and doesn't think there is a problem the you just have to worry in silence.

          Comment

            #6
            Originally posted by erwin1973 View Post
            Thank you.
            The problem with sending her by regular post is that it takes 4 to 6 weeks to arrive...
            I try not to be overconcerned... It's dfficult, though. :P
            Yeah, everything takes ages in the mail...I was thinking more of a "pre-emptive" care package with "in case of" goodies. But, maybe that's a silly suggestion.
            sigpic

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              #7
              Originally posted by autumn1790 View Post
              Yeah, everything takes ages in the mail...I was thinking more of a "pre-emptive" care package with "in case of" goodies. But, maybe that's a silly suggestion.
              I don't say that is a silly suggestion. What did you have in mind? We also have to think of that the custom clears it. We're talking about the Philipines, so... I mean, if they think it's drugs (very strickt there). I'm not sure if I can send medicines.
              Or... do I now fully misunderstand you???
              Distance means nothing when someone means everything.

              Comment

                #8
                Originally posted by erwin1973 View Post
                I don't say that is a silly suggestion. What did you have in mind? We also have to think of that the custom clears it. We're talking about the Philipines, so... I mean, if they think it's drugs (very strickt there). I'm not sure if I can send medicines.
                Or... do I now fully misunderstand you???
                Maybe not medicines...maybe things like herbal teas, a comfy blanket, good book, get well soon card, anything you know she would appreciate while sick. Maybe a Care Bear. I'm sure you could find ideas online
                sigpic

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by autumn1790 View Post
                  Maybe not medicines...maybe things like herbal teas, a comfy blanket, good book, get well soon card, anything you know she would appreciate while sick. Maybe a Care Bear. I'm sure you could find ideas online
                  Yes of, course... Sorry, some times I am too litterally.
                  Actually, something like that is already on it's way to her. Hope it will arrive just before Febr. 14th...
                  Although the carebear is for her daughter...

                  Thanks for the advice, nice ideas, I'm going to find something for her for next time.
                  Distance means nothing when someone means everything.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Can she use a doctor that is not local? If she is free to pick one, anyway (with us we have to sign on to a regular doctor, but I have kept doctors I liked after I moved).
                    I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
                    - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



                    "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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                      #11
                      Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
                      Can she use a doctor that is not local? If she is free to pick one, anyway (with us we have to sign on to a regular doctor, but I have kept doctors I liked after I moved).
                      She once told me - after I sent her to a doctor a few months ago - that doctors charge you for the consults, but also for how much they do for you. That results, as she told me, that the doctors 'find' more then you actually have. So they make more money. She doesn't trust them.
                      Distance means nothing when someone means everything.

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                        #12
                        The change in atmosphere can bring in a lot health issues. But, she will eventually get immune to it. Make sure they are getting the right medication.

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                          #13
                          Thanks. Happy to hear they both will get over it. I just heard that in April 2018 they move back to their original, own, house.
                          It hurts to see them ill every time.
                          The right medication is the problem. What worked in Tisa, seems not to help in Boljoon... So they're still looking for the right medications.
                          Distance means nothing when someone means everything.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            And none of us can even tell you what's wrong with her.. even as a doctor, we cant diagnose her. I'd its that bad, and her child is getting sick as well, then its in her best interest as well as her baby, to go get seen by someone.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              I agree with that.
                              Hope that soon they will return to their original home... That saves a lot of health problems.
                              BTW her baby is 10.
                              Distance means nothing when someone means everything.

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