having private time when there are housemates

[rache82]

Hello all,
I posted a few days ago but wanted to start another post in case people hadn't seen the first post, and also to get rid of the negativity that I created, just when I took someone's comment a bit personally; I'm so very sorry about that. I reread her comment and realised how I should have taken it, and I agree with everything that was said.
So basically my SO (who I will be meeting in five months) has recently got a female housemate to help with the rent. He is very understanding of my initial concern with this, and offered to put me at ease in any way he could. So now I'm fine. I always trusted him; it was more the fact that they see each other every day.
Anyway, my next question is, and him and I were discussing this the other day, how has anyone delt with this when it comes to LDR visits? We'll get our time alone of course at nights and when we decide to go out during the day, though it will be Summer there of course and I dare say we won't be out every single day.
I'm not saying for one minute I'm not looking forward to seeing her some of the time as she and I use to chat on line too, but what I am saying, anyone had experience with this and getting private time during the day?

Thanks guys for hopefully understanding what I'm asking without sounding insensitive.

[Chris516]

The same with family under the same roof.

[R&R]

It's not uncommon for people to have roommates of family members (children, parents) liviing under the same roof. I'm guessing his roommate will probably have work during the day, so that should give the two of you some time alone.

[sasad]

I am sure the housemate will also have dates or time away from the house as well... If not, go get a hotel or look at airbnb. It will all work out. Don't sweat the small stuff!

[kittyxuchiha11]

My SO has 4 housemates, a 3 year old and a great dane who breaks open locked doors living with her and honestly it isn't as bad as you think. When i was over there visiting sure we spent most our days out of the house and then spent the evenings in her room but we still saw her housemates plenty in that time. We even had a big dinner together with about 10 of us and i got to meet all these different people an although i'm very shy it was nice to have all these people so interested in me and wanting to talk to me. Her house mates were very respectful to us both though and had a day we'd arranged with them where they spent the entire evening upstairs and out of sight so SO and I could cook dinner togetehr and have a nice romantic time without being bothered.

Why don't you suggest something like that? ask for one day that you get the house to yourselves and make the most of it. if not, as the others have said there are other options like getting a hotel or airbnb. I think you'll find having someone who occasionally talks to you won't be that bad, i was quite worried about it all too but it turned out to be fine and i'm actually really excited to go back over there and see everyone again :3

[Rezie]

Depends on the relationship with the flatmate. My boyfriend shared a flat with 3 people he doensnt know. They have just randomly been placed to the same flat. So if they were cooking we would wait for them to be done and then cook ourselves. We wouldn't have any contact and I have no idea what their names were. At the time my roomate was a friend of mine so we would hang out together and if we wanted privicy then we would go to my room.

I have my own flat so we can do whatever we want when we are at mine. When we are at his we are out a lot. The common area is a common ares so flatmates are allowed there but your partner can say to flatmate you would want some privicy for a movie night or what not.

[hmrambling]

Is there only one room in the house and is no one employed? Must everyone sit in one room all day long? I

Generally, the person with the housemate/roommate will work out the comings and goings of visiting or it works itself out because people generally go into their own spaces or to work or to visit with friends. However, if no one is employed and there is only one room in the house for everyone to sit in, then I could see where there may be a privacy issue. Even still, throw up some sheets for makeshift walls if there is only one room and no one is employed and never has to leave the house to go to work... which I hope is not the case.

[xxcazaxx]

We stayed in a hotel when we were in Delhi (where he is from). For the most part of my visit we were holidaying around India though. We ended up meeting up with one of his flatmates in another part of India (where the flatmate's family live as he was visiting there at the same time).

[differentcountries]

We have often had our own flat or a hotel, but we have also sometimes stayed with friends or his family (we always stay with his family if we visit. They have plenty of space and I think also they dont want us to stay in a hotel as an unmarried couple).

It depends on what everyone does. Maybe they work, or study, or they stay at home. When we lived with SOs friends, they were studying in the living room but we went out for boat rides and stuff during the day. We also cooked together or for each other. When we visit his mum, she is always home, and I cant help her much with cooking as I dont know the dishes, but I can help tidy and clean. Sometimes we have watched tv together (I like Turkish tv and she also things physical humor and cute cats are funny, she has very similar tv tastes as SO). Once we lived in a flat that was half a tattoo studio, that was a bit weird because when the tatoo customes came I did not know them and felt weird sitting in the sofa. When we are at someone's house of course there is not a lot of privacy in the room, but at least with SO's people they also give us space and I never felt any intrution, just curiosity. It was a bit weird the first time SOs family lit the big oven and everyone was expected to take showers and then just sit and let their hair dry, on the carpet (in my country you never sit on the carpet and wall to wall carpets are not common), but now I am used to it and I enjoy it. There is also the option to hang a bit in the kitchen (which apparently is everyone's fav plac to smoke close to the window).