Struggling to keep the faith

[Sophiemonieb]

Hi everyone my name is Sophie. I just joined. I feel like I have no one to talk to about this because no one else understands. I'm having one of my down days were I'm feeling hopeless about everything. My SO is Indian, I'm Irish. We've known each other practically our whole lives because our parents became friends 20years ago. We'd been friends for a long time but there was always something there. On my third trip out to India a few months ago we couldn't hide the feelings we had anymore and fell in love. Its been a crazy rollercoaster. Im back home now. And not only do I have the distance to deal with, our relationship is a secret with his family because he has had an arranged marriage planned for the past 5 years, even though he doesn't want it. I've been looking at our visa options for him to come to Ireland and its not easy we're not together long enough for a defacto, he doesn't have enough qualified experience for a company here to hire him and bring him over (the only way to get a work permit) and my last resort, a student visa is working out to be crazy expensive and neither of us are in a financial position to afford it. The thought of him not being able to be here with me is unbearable. I feel so lonely. Dya know when you just need them there to hug you and reassure you? But they're not :'( he's usually able to cheer me up but I just feel so hopeless right now. Please tell me I'm not the only one struggling? ❤

[sunnymess54]

You are definitely not the only one struggling. Some days I find it so hard to believe that we will ever close the distance. I get so bad sometimes that I start to question everything like
Does he really love me? Does he really think we will close the distance? Is there really a chance to close the distance? Does he even want to still be doing this?

We have been long distance the whole time, almost 17 months and I hate being away from him, everyday seems to get harder and harder. I HATE not having him close by. When he's here, my life feels complete, normal, easy, stress free. Without him I feel like I can't breath. Sometimes I wonder if he feels the same and I start questioning his feelings etc. Its very hard to be in this kind of relationship but all I keep telling myself is It will be worth it in the end. Just have to stay positive

[Sophiemonieb]

Thanks for your reply 😘 that's it isn't it....just staying positive. Totally easier said than done of course. And not at all easy when you're PMSing and extra emotional, which I am right now 😂 I just crave normality. Like waking up next to him, cooking dinner with him, lounging on the couch. Having that physical support. I do have a lot of good days. And I think I'd be completely lost if I didn't have yoga to keep me balanced. I guess it just gets too much for me sometimes and it all topples down. I feel like everything is stacked against us. Could the universe make this any more challenging?! But he's who I want to grow old with and have kids with so its worth this struggle right now. Lots of love your way ❤❤

[sunnymess54]

I feel that way too. I miss all the fun and normal stuff like cooking together, cleaning up together, going shopping together everything. It does get quite hard sometimes and the only thing that gets me through us knowing that in September we will be hopefully closing the distance. When I think about it though, I get soon anxious thinking it may not happen. What if I can't find a job, or an apartment etc . but I keep my head up thinking there's got to be someway to make it work. I want him, I want to grow old with him and have a baby with him and have us always be together. Its all overwhelming sometimes.

[Sophiemonieb]

That's amazing, September is not so far away. Don't worry about the other stuff, it'll all fall into place. It can be overwhelming but just put one foot in front of the other and let the future happen. I just had a phone call from my SO and feel so much better. You know I truly believe everyone comes into our life for a reason and I'm so grateful he came into mine ❤

[sunnymess54]

I believe that as well. When I met my SO I was just getting out of a very bad relationship and was very depressed and just by being my friend he brought me out of all that bad and then we decided to be together and its been pretty great since. Of course there's always some little ups and downs but we've made it and I couldn't love him more. He always says the sweetest things and I just feel grateful to have him.

[lovestoread]

You are definitely not the only one struggling. Some days I find it so hard to believe that we will ever close the distance. I get so bad sometimes that I start to question everything like
Does he really love me? Does he really think we will close the distance? Is there really a chance to close the distance? Does he even want to still be doing this?

We have been long distance the whole time, almost 17 months and I hate being away from him, everyday seems to get harder and harder. I HATE not having him close by. When he's here, my life feels complete, normal, easy, stress free. Without him I feel like I can't breath. Sometimes I wonder if he feels the same and I start questioning his feelings etc. Its very hard to be in this kind of relationship but all I keep telling myself is It will be worth it in the end. Just have to stay positive

I feel this way too and I agree

[Tinkerbell1]

Hi everyone I'm Geri. My boyfriend moved to the U.S for work 6 months ago and Iv been devastated since. The plan was for me to go out to be with him but getting a visa is looking impossible. He keeps saying it'll work out and he's not worried because we have a strong relationship but I can't seem to get it through to him that it doesn't matter how strong we are when the U.S law is our barrier. Im at the stage where I want to settle down and start a family with him and he says he wants that as well but won't say when or how because he's so wrapped up in the new job. I feel now that he's more interested in building his career than building a life with me and I'm just stuck at home waiting for him

[Chris516]

Hi everyone my name is Sophie. I just joined. I feel like I have no one to talk to about this because no one else understands. I'm having one of my down days were I'm feeling hopeless about everything. My SO is Indian, I'm Irish. We've known each other practically our whole lives because our parents became friends 20years ago. We'd been friends for a long time but there was always something there. On my third trip out to India a few months ago we couldn't hide the feelings we had anymore and fell in love. Its been a crazy rollercoaster. Im back home now. And not only do I have the distance to deal with, our relationship is a secret with his family because he has had an arranged marriage planned for the past 5 years, even though he doesn't want it. I've been looking at our visa options for him to come to Ireland and its not easy we're not together long enough for a defacto, he doesn't have enough qualified experience for a company here to hire him and bring him over (the only way to get a work permit) and my last resort, a student visa is working out to be crazy expensive and neither of us are in a financial position to afford it. The thought of him not being able to be here with me is unbearable. I feel so lonely. Dya know when you just need them there to hug you and reassure you? But they're not :'( he's usually able to cheer me up but I just feel so hopeless right now. Please tell me I'm not the only one struggling? ❤

You definitely are not the only one struggling.

[Sam117]

I know exactly how you feel, if that's any help at all. My girlfriend is from the Philippines, and I want to Marry her I'm certain of it. We love each other a lot, but the last week or so has been quite a struggle. The Distance is getting to us both quite a lot an I'm doing my best to save to see her as soon as possible. I wanna close the Gap also by Doing a Working Tour of different countries.

I'm really worried that our relationship might not last, but I'm doing my best to close the distance but it's not easy.

[Dasrouse]

Hi Sophie, you are not the only one struggling. I am in a peculiar situation myself. Nothing like what you have with an arranged marriage in the way. But a peculiar situation nonetheless. Any updates?