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Can't figure out our next step

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    #1

    Can't figure out our next step

    Me (Milan, Italy) and my fiancé (Albany, Australia) have reached a moment in our relationship where we feel... stuck?

    Short as possibile backstory:
    We met online 4 years ago and we have been in a romantic relationship for 2 (1 year and 6 months being in person)
    - First 3 monts I went to AUS on a tourist visa
    - Then I came back for a full year on a Working Holiday Visa
    - And at last he came to Italy for 3 months as a tourist.

    Now he's back in AUS and I am in my country. We were planning on being together for good that year but it didn't work out because my visa status didn't allow me to get a job. (well it did, but I'm sure you know how most of the employers over there see us WHV people)
    His job alone was not enough and we barely made it for that year.

    We didn't even try to make it work in Italy because of the awful immigration and economical problems my country is facing in these times, but we did get engaged and that made us stronger and more determined to find a permanent solution.

    Problem is, we don't exactly know what to do. We decided the best option is for me to move to AUS, since he already has a job and a rent going on. We thought on getting me a Prospective Marriage Visa but the info on the internet is confusing and I don't know if we have all the requirements.

    I'm also wondering if getting a "better" visa would increase my chances of getting a job there or if it's just the "visa" word that seems to be cursed..

    Anyone got that visa and can tell me how it works? (cost, time for approval, requirements?)
    Is there anything else we could do?

    I really need something to look forward to because the sudden distance after a year and a half together is killing me.
    Thank you for your time!
    Tags: None
    #2
    The big question is how much he needs to earn to secure you marrying /moving there.
    I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
    - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



    "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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      #3
      We are currently trying to work hard to earn and keep as much money as we can for that of course, I realize this is not going to happen any soon..

      I just really want to know that we are doing it with a goal in mind, one that is sure to succeed once we are ready.
      That's also why I'd like to know the costs from someone that has been through this, it all seems so... unreal that sometimes we lose motivation and that's scary, being so young our emotions get in the way a lot.

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        #4
        No clue about AUS visas or culture, but it only took my immigrant husband three months to find a job in the USA. He is highly specialized and had nearly a decade of experience when applying. The problem with temp visas is they know you are leaving.

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          #5
          We are kind of in a similar situation to yours. I was able in the past to visit SO very often and some of the visits were long. Now I work full time and I am not able to do that, at least not for a while. Also, I will have to work on almost every visit to him. The change is hard, especially for my SO. Right now, I am in the transition between work and starting up my company, I dont know what will happen with my pay just yet, so I am stuck here for the moment as I have little money. The change from seeing each other at least every month to seeing each other MAYBE every 3-4 months was enormous, also we used to rent together for 2 seasons, now we cant afford that, he lives in a sort of dorm where I usually cant live (I did last time) and so there is the cost of hotel. I have really stretched my money and options, and now I am paying for it, literally and figuratively. I knew we could not do it forever, but it is still hard.

          We made possible plans as we went along. SO will not be able to get a job here on his own accord, he has education, but since he lives out of EU an employer (if we can find one) needs to qualify why he was brought in from out of EU. That is going to be hard. Once he comes here, if he learns the language he will not have any trouble finding jobs, he has a bachelor and tons of experience. For us, the marriage route seems like the best option, but that is a few years further down the line.

          I try to break up everything into baby steps: I want to see the inlaws more and see what happens with their house and garden, I definitely want to be present at SOs brother's wedding, I want him to get more experience at his job, for me to set up my firm and for us to make more money, I want to lawyer up, I want to settle everything with my mum's care, I want him to come to my country for a visit (it will not happen this year, perhaps next year), I want to become better at Turkish cooking because if he moves here we will eat a lot of Turkish, I want to come out to my parents eventually etc. When I break it up, it does not seem so bad after all. It is just lots of stuff to do the next few years, before we can be together.
          Last edited by differentcountries; February 19, 2017, 09:16 AM.
          I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
          - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



          "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

          Comment

            #6
            I think someone here has a bunch of good links about visas... Have you done a search here?

            Comment

              #7
              Apparently im such a newbie im not allowed to post weblinks yet haha so type "Visa Finder - Department of Immigration and Border Protection Australia" into google and click the first site that comes up.

              This site might help you find a visa that could work better. I only had a precursory look but there does look like a few options. It might be best if you just go through them all and make a list of pros, cons and cost. Also if youre looking to live and work in Australia, another option is looking into getting a New Zealand citizenship - ive heard its easier and slightly cheaper than getting an Australian one but not sure how reliable hearsay is.

              I am a New Zealand citizen which gives me the right to live and work in Australia as well as access the "domestic student" university pay bracket which is a huge advantage for me studying here. The only disadvantage is some Australian Centrelink benefits dont apply to New Zealand citizens. However that has not affected my quality off life here so far. Also, if you cant find work straight away here, you can always go door to door offering dog walking services. That may sound crazy haha but so many people have dogs in Australia and ive done that successfully when ive been short on cash. Also sites like Airtasker and petsitting service sites are a good place to get involved in if you need some casual work and extra cash to support you both while youre looking for a job here.
              Best of luck guys, stay strong, a bit of research and you can do it

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