First Time Visit and First Time Flying

[FondueForever]

So I'm a guy from the UK and I've met a girl (who I'll call Luna for the sake of anonymous) from the US who I've madly fallen for and she's super into me and it's amazing. We voice chat, video chat, text for most of the day and have been doing so for about a month or so now and we talked talked about plans for me to go over and visit once I've sorted out where I'll be staying. The trouble is that this will be the first time I'll have left the UK and also the first time flying. I'm super okay with going through with it but originally had planned to fly over with a female friend of mine, she's a close friend and has said she would be happy to come with me and have known her for over 5 years now but I worry that it might give Luna the wrong idea. I'd obviously feel more comfortable flying for the first time with a friend but I guess I'd be okay with flying alone. Another concern is how long I'd be staying there because I know that I won't get to see her everyday but know that it's the only reason I'm heading over there.

TL;DR - First time flying and leaving UK to US kinda unsure with flying, travel advice?, bring close female friend? Yes/No?

[snow]

Flying out with a friend if you feel uncomfortable seems like a reasonable idea, but I would tell your girlfriend about it and see how she feels.
I personally didn't take anybody, because it'd been awkward for us as I would have slept in my SOs bed and the other person would have had to sleep on the couch.

You guys should talk about when the best time to fly out is so you get the most of each other. It's probably unwise to go when she's having exams or is going to be very busy, maybe she can make some time to see you.

My first visit was 11 days and that seemed appropriate for the first time meeting.

[Rezie]

Is the plan for you to travel to visit Luna and stay at her place or go on a holiday in the area and hav a few dinners etc.? If you are going to stay with her then I would go alone. I can appreciate wanting to bring a friend and I don't think the gender if the friend is an issue. If the idea is for you to spend time for the whole time to get to know Luna (even if at a hotel) I would go alone. If the primary purpose is to have a holiday then bringing a friend it ok. But you should talk with Luna and agree on the purpose of the visit.

[FondueForever]

The idea of the visit I guess is to get to know Luna better in person, but at the moment she is living with other family members and me staying with her doesn't seem that practical at the moment, so it is assumed that I would be staying in a hotel and then she would come and visit me when she can, only it's almost an hour's drive for her and doing that drive every day would cost a lot of time and money :/ thanks for the replies guys ^^

[Rezie]

The idea of the visit I guess is to get to know Luna better in person, but at the moment she is living with other family members and me staying with her doesn't seem that practical at the moment, so it is assumed that I would be staying in a hotel and then she would come and visit me when she can, only it's almost an hour's drive for her and doing that drive every day would cost a lot of time and money :/ thanks for the replies guys ^^

In case that you may not see each other that much and for that long I would say bringing a friend would be okay. Obviously discuss with Luna about this. Could you take a hotel Closer to Her? Could she get a hotel for a few Days?

[FondueForever]

That could be a possibility but Luna's father is traditionally strict and understandably protective and also is something else we have to overcome together, from what I can gather she seems completely capable of being independent and mature. I guess this is something that she has to figure out with him I just don't want to instantly become the bad news boyfriend from overseas. Like I have complete respect for him and he has no reason to think of me in that light and I don't intend to give him one. But when your first impression is "Hey I'm the guy that's been messaging and speaking with your daughter from over 3000 miles away, hows things" I find it kinda hard to believe he won't be off-standish about the whole thing. 😅

[sasad]

Welp, its a first time meeting si i get the friend pattern, but unless your gf is totally good with it, i would bring a male friend or cousin perhaps instead. Think how it would feel to you in her shoes?
Also, where in the US would she be so far away from a hotel? Maybe look for airbnb place? Look for places to visit ! The US has lots to offer!

[Karura]

When I first went to Chile yeas ago, I was 22 and as a woman about to meet a LDR boyfriend in a foreign place, I took... my mom. XP That's my ex now though and in my current LDR, I am going to see my SO in the US as well. Five years later I'm much more comfortable travelling by myself. I would say to look into homeaway.com and airbnb.com for locations where you can be closer to your SO. If you're uncomfortable taking someone with you, I would say to ask your SO about how she feels about it, though you're the one in foreign land and I would say that your comfort is the most important fact here. Just a head up, bringing someone else with you can make it boring for them since you will want to spend as much time as you can with your SO, so think of things that they could find entertainment in when you want to spend alone time with your girl.

[FondueForever]

Thanks for all the replies guys I'll let you know how the next few weeks pan out, I'm looking into making it a group visit so that anyobody that comes with me wont feel left while I'm with Luna, and Luna will feel more comfortable while we are apart knowing that it's not just me and my friend. I understand completely how she might feel, which is why I took to the web on advice it's just the male friends I do have would not be as understanding about my situation and would probably need some convincing before they tag along. Hopefully all goes well.

Cheers,

FF

[jarrybotter]

Highly suggest you look into an Air B&B - I stayed at a lovely Air B&B in Colorado for $40 a night when I first went over to the US - really good price and literally 20 mintues away from my partner. Im sure theres something cheap you can work out - however if youre going to turn it into a group visit there wont be anywhere near as many hosts willing to take on groups of people.

Also in regards to your travelling alone - the first time i flew by myself internationally i was 15 and i admit it was scary. I know youre a bit older than that but most airlines will really look after you if youre a young person flying alone or if you tell them that you're afraid. I had an air hostess escort me onto the plane, check on me during the flight and help me get my bags on the other side, then wait with me until i was safely in a taxi. On a different flight I also saw an air hostess look after an old man that was really scared and they comforted him beautifully and helped him on the other side too

If the concern is more about filling in the time while she is busy, then try doing things alone. Americans are some of the friendliest and most helpful people i have met and I'm sure making new friends or exploring the area alone wont be scary at all! I think a group of mates might even end up being more of a hindrance than a help in you progressing your relationship with her. If my partner was over here with a bunch of his mates, I would feel like Id be intruding if I wanted to spend time with him and worried that if we all went out together as a group and I wanted to be alone with him, id be seen as "clingy" or a killjoy. And I wouldnt be as inclined to spend every spare moment with him because I wouldnt be feeling like he'd want the companny as much.

[AliceMJH]

Hey you!

It was the same for me & my (now) boyfriend last August. He's from Argentina, I'm from Germany & I had never set foot in an airport before. I was really scared of flying (thought I would never do it tbh) & I wanted my male bestest friend to come with me. Fortunately, he couldn't make time for it, as much as I love him, that was a good thing.
Getting to know each other in real life for the first time is gonna be so emotionally & time-intensive. I was stunned by a new continent, new culture & a new awesome person that I wanted to share every second with. It would have been super annoying for my friend and also awkward for me if he'd been there, because I wouldn't have felt comfortable to go "all out".
If you're worried about being alone in a foreign country: Stay at a hostel. You're gonna meet a bunch of people from all over the world & everybody's in the same position, so you don't need to feel shy.
I recommend going alone. You're gonna grow from the experience.

Good luck & have fun!

[FondueForever]

Thanks for the reply! I heard some bad things about airBnB though is it all decent and above board? I'm more than happy to try something like airBnB I just don't want to be ripped off or be staying anywhere dodgy you know :/ And It's not that I wouldn't mind travelling alone it's just I guess I'd feel more comfortable if I was with someone who I could rely on if anything went downhill. And it would only be 1 or 2 people I'd take no more than two for sure. Also I've spoken with Luna and she's comfortable with me bringing a friend, male or female as she knows how I feel about her she's more worried about my safety it seems which is sweet so I guess this has become more of a travel tips kinda thread now. And whether or not I should go alone :P

[FondueForever]

Thanks Alice! Sorry I hadn't noticed this had moved to the second page, thanks for the reply I am feeling more inclined to go alone I guess I just worry about the time Luna will be able to make for me, I'm not sure on how close I can get to her when I stay so she would have to travel about 30-40 minutes and that would be each day which I think she's okay with but her father as I have mentioned is relatively old fashioned and somewhat strict. So there may be a chance that I may not get to see her everyday and that would mean finding something to do by myself and I'm pretty clueless when it comes to organising anything aha xD

[jarrybotter]

Yeah there have definitely been some stories about airBnB but I'd say over 95% of people have good experiences. I've stayed at 3 airBnBs, all of which have been much MUCH cheaper than hotels lol I would say its much more likely youd get ripped off at a hotel than at an airBnB :P All of the 3 places were very different, and none were dodgy. Personally, there are a few things I do when hunting for places on airBnB to make sure the place is what I want: I only ever stay with older couples, I always talk to the hosts via chat for a good amount of time before I decide if I would fit with them and I cannot stress how important it is to double check the amenities you find important - just because it says "air conditioning" for example, dosent mean there is air conditioning in the room. If you follow that you should be good

Wish you the best of luck, if you've discussed bringing friends along and shes cool with it then happy days!

[R&R]

Yeah there have definitely been some stories about airBnB but I'd say over 95% of people have good experiences. I've stayed at 3 airBnBs, all of which have been much MUCH cheaper than hotels lol I would say its much more likely youd get ripped off at a hotel than at an airBnB :P All of the 3 places were very different, and none were dodgy. Personally, there are a few things I do when hunting for places on airBnB to make sure the place is what I want: I only ever stay with older couples, I always talk to the hosts via chat for a good amount of time before I decide if I would fit with them and I cannot stress how important it is to double check the amenities you find important - just because it says "air conditioning" for example, dosent mean there is air conditioning in the room. If you follow that you should be good

Wish you the best of luck, if you've discussed bringing friends along and shes cool with it then happy days!

I agree with all of this about Air B&B. I'd also add that I've only stayed with people that have multiple reviews over a decent time frame. I love Air B&B and now try to always stay with one particular host when I go visit SO. It's cheaper than a hotel and I always rent an entire house. It's great because we have the place to ourselves and a full kitchen, so we don't spend a ton of money eating out since I can cook our meals.