Doesn't want to see me

[eetava]

I am very upset because it has been months since I've asked him to change/buy/fix the webcam (because his doesn't work), but he won't do it. He rarely talks with me. Yesterday I asked him what was going on, but he got angry at me for pestering him too much about the webcam.
I understand that it's difficult for him not to be with me anymore, but I have the same feelings. I also understand that he's from the North, so they don't talk much. What I don't understand is why he refuses to talk about simple things with me and see me or be seen by me. Imagine a rare Skype call with your partner where you can see only yourself and it's only you who talk... I said "it is not fair", he said "sometimes it's better that you don't see me", I asked "what is the purpose of a call like this?" and he said "to please me"
We lived like a married couple and now I can't even see him on a screen.
Did it happen to anybody? Any suggestions are welcome

[Kbee]

That is a very tough one especially because you were at first living together. Maybe something is up and when you skype it is really hard to hide your feelings because you are seeing the reaction on the persons face. I'm having the no skyping situation at the moment so I can understand the frustration, you have made your feelings known so the next step to take is a tough one unless you are are able to see each other soon and really figure out what is going on.I wish i could be more of help I really hope it gets sorted out :-)

[Honour]

It took my SO almost a year and a bit to get a new webcam when his last one broke He's one of those people who doesn't like going on video chat often, and honestly, I don't like it much either. But I can't go months and months without seeing him. I kept pestering him until he let up and finally got his ass ingear lol. Maybe something's going wrong and he's just bottling it up. Honestly, guys seem to love doing it and I have no idea why. Best thing you can do is to not push him too hard, but don't let up either. We can't read his mind and tell you what's wrong. With a bit of time, who knows? Maybe things will fix themselves. Good luck!

[lovestoread]

I am very upset because it has been months since I've asked him to change/buy/fix the webcam (because his doesn't work), but he won't do it. He rarely talks with me. Yesterday I asked him what was going on, but he got angry at me for pestering him too much about the webcam.
I understand that it's difficult for him not to be with me anymore, but I have the same feelings. I also understand that he's from the North, so they don't talk much. What I don't understand is why he refuses to talk about simple things with me and see me or be seen by me. Imagine a rare Skype call with your partner where you can see only yourself and it's only you who talk... I said "it is not fair", he said "sometimes it's better that you don't see me", I asked "what is the purpose of a call like this?" and he said "to please me"
We lived like a married couple and now I can't even see him on a screen.
Did it happen to anybody? Any suggestions are welcome

okay so let me get this straight you lived with each other and now you don't?Okay maybe he just doesn't want you to see him,I don't know that is a very hard situation

[Chris516]

I am very upset because it has been months since I've asked him to change/buy/fix the webcam (because his doesn't work), but he won't do it. He rarely talks with me. Yesterday I asked him what was going on, but he got angry at me for pestering him too much about the webcam.
I understand that it's difficult for him not to be with me anymore, but I have the same feelings. I also understand that he's from the North, so they don't talk much. What I don't understand is why he refuses to talk about simple things with me and see me or be seen by me. Imagine a rare Skype call with your partner where you can see only yourself and it's only you who talk... I said "it is not fair", he said "sometimes it's better that you don't see me", I asked "what is the purpose of a call like this?" and he said "to please me"
We lived like a married couple and now I can't even see him on a screen.
Did it happen to anybody? Any suggestions are welcome

I was actually in his position following my divorce. My (ex)wife has never had the technical ability to webcam on any computer, she has had(I have two webcams). Instead, She has tried contacting me via phone, and Facebook. I don't know your ex's reasons', justified or not. I refuse to talk to my (ex)wife because of how she blamed me everything that went wrong in our marriage. She would take no responsibility for the things she did/didn't do, in the marriage. I don't want to be in the same room with her for anything. Because of the risk it puts my life at.

Of course, that was my experience.

Does he have depression? From what you said. It sounds like he is hiding something that he is terribly ashamed of.

[Rezie]

I feel like there are a few separate issues going on. One is that he doesn't want to videochat and one that he doesn't talk. First of all you shouldn't be on webcam if he doesn't want to do videochat. This would leave the option on talking on the phone. But what I gathered was that he only speaks to you to please you?

Sure, videochatting is not for everyone. Talking on the phobe is not for everyone. But some sort of communication should be established. There is something going on. You should try to talk or maybe send an email about how the situation sucks, but you would feel a lot better if you could videochat and talk about the small things. How this current cimmunisation is not ok. And how his actions/words hurt you. And ask what is going on with him and how you are there for him if he wants to talk.

[eetava]

I feel like there are a few separate issues going on. One is that he doesn't want to videochat and one that he doesn't talk. First of all you shouldn't be on webcam if he doesn't want to do videochat. This would leave the option on talking on the phone. But what I gathered was that he only speaks to you to please you?

Sure, videochatting is not for everyone. Talking on the phobe is not for everyone. But some sort of communication should be established. There is something going on. You should try to talk or maybe send an email about how the situation sucks, but you would feel a lot better if you could videochat and talk about the small things. How this current cimmunisation is not ok. And how his actions/words hurt you. And ask what is going on with him and how you are there for him if he wants to talk.

He occasionally wants to see me on Skype, but not to be seen and he doesn't talk most of the time of the things he does, if I ask he's always very vague. We can't talk on the phone because of the cost, we live in different countries, unfortunately. However, that is exactly my point, I said that it would be better and easier if we talked more often or saw each other more often, but he made me understand that it is not easier for him. Believe me I asked so many times for explanations, but I can't force him. In the meantime I'm stuck like this...

[eetava]

We met for the first time 2 years ago, then we decided to go on Erasmus so we could be together. We lived in an apartment for 6 months, I extended my period of studies other 6 months, so that we could travel to see each other. We met once/twice a month and stayed together for about one week, so things were great. Then last month I had to come back to Italy and that's when the trouble started. I think he doesn't want to be seen because he may be drinking. He said "without you I am nothing"

[Rezie]

By Phonecall I meant voice call via skype/viber/whats app etc. Sounds like he is incredibly insecure and depressed. I would still send an email that would explain how this makes you feel and what you expect. And you are not stuck like this. You have options, you just have to decide how long and much you are willing to take take.