I need some advice please

[Lloydy123]

So I met this girl a few months ago in my country while she was visiting and had a great time then when she returned to her own country we both decided that we would try to make it work up until last week everything had been going amazing but then she stops mesaging me after a while I send her a message and she reaponds telling me that she is really in a dark space right now and doesnt want me to see her like that but she still thinks I am amazing and thanks me for the support i tried to give her and lets me know that she will call tomorrow. Anyway she calls and things seem fine we talk we laugh and she tells me that she is really excited about my upcoming visit in less than a month. Since then I have not heard from her at all its been over a week and tbf I may have been a little needy asking her to talk to me a few times but the truth is I have needed her I am going through my own bad time right now, lost my job moved city so have no friends here and no money either and now this coming when I spent all my savings on flights. I don't want to give up on her but I have asked her to speak to me and right now she is not even reading my messages and i just feel so confused

[jarrybotter]

Communication is paramount. Does she know and fully understand what youre going through and that you need some support from her right now? Does she know that youve spent a large chunk of your savings in a plane ticket to see her?

It sounds like either there is a communication breakdown between you two, or that she is just not as invested as you are at this moment. Ask her what is going on, and see if she can clarify the "dark space". Tell her that you really like her and don't want to give up, and also say that youre lost and you need to understand her to help move your relationship in the right direction

[iHippie]

I would make sure she knows how concerned you are about her lack of communication. Hopefully the "dark space" is nothing too serious & that she'll come out the other end feeling better. If it were me (and after determining that the dark space is not something serious like health matters or depression etc) I would ask her straight out if she has lost interest, and whether or not she wants you to take the trip over to visit. Good luck

[Chris516]

So I met this girl a few months ago in my country while she was visiting and had a great time then when she returned to her own country we both decided that we would try to make it work up until last week everything had been going amazing but then she stops mesaging me after a while I send her a message and she reaponds telling me that she is really in a dark space right now and doesnt want me to see her like that but she still thinks I am amazing and thanks me for the support i tried to give her and lets me know that she will call tomorrow. Anyway she calls and things seem fine we talk we laugh and she tells me that she is really excited about my upcoming visit in less than a month. Since then I have not heard from her at all its been over a week and tbf I may have been a little needy asking her to talk to me a few times but the truth is I have needed her I am going through my own bad time right now, lost my job moved city so have no friends here and no money either and now this coming when I spent all my savings on flights. I don't want to give up on her but I have asked her to speak to me and right now she is not even reading my messages and i just feel so confused

I wonder if her silence. Is due to something she fears you might reject her over.

Yes, I know you have been going through a lot. I am just saying what her reasons for being silent might be.