I'm dating a man with depression. Please hear me out

[Taki]

Since our culture is very family oriented we usually don't really move out of the house until we have a family. This is funny but some even live together with in laws or in a compound. ....The only money he sents me goes towards the savings for the visa. Extras are from him and I don't ask.

I totally get the family and culture aspect because I am from Sri Lanka. The culture here is identical. Nevertheless that's the reality of multicultural dating. So far he's been understanding of your culture, which is why he's supported you in your current living situation. You need to understand his culture of individual breaking away. And even if the only money he sends is for visa stuff, I still think that should be joint too, especially since its not just for you- it's for your kid too. The fact that you don't ask for "extras" from him is NOT a bonus point in your favour because that's not something you should be asking for in the first place.

Oh and what I meant by your brother was that even if your fiancé doesn't directly pay anything for your brother, that's not the issue her. From what you said, one of the reasons YOU can't work, is because of your brother. This may make sense for you, but it's really unfair for your fiancé. And never EVER use crying and self harm as a manipulation method. That's being extremely abusive. If you're concerned about his depression, be concerned about HIM and NOT about how his depression affects you.

One thing though I'm really glad to see you're open minded enough to not immediately shut down negative responses. Way to go. and good luck!

[Fudgee]

Yes he and his depression is my big concern now. I understand it won't just go away and I won't be able to fix it. But I'll have to deal with it and just be supportive of him because I love him.
At the moment I'm concerned of my well being too. It's affecting my health and now my son I just recently noticed. I've been trying hard not to show him that I'm crying sometimes hence I lock up in my room.
I think I just need a different mindset with dealing with this matter since I'm overthinking a lot. But I can still manage to make it throughout the day.
Thanks

[Chris516]

Well I think he has worse since he has a really rough past. I did also had a bad and abusive relationship with my son's father before. But i know myself and my anxiety and breakdowns are pretty much in control. While on the other hand depression can't be controlled and just would go away. It's like a lifetime thing most people grow up/grow old with.
Right now the stress and work just made it worse and caused him to be like this. I'm trying to be less of a burden for him. And always reminds him that I'm just here to support

Does depression run in his family? So, His present depression was triggered by his work environment? How would you define yourself to be a 'burden'?