Break up when still love each other need advice

[Ellie luong]

hello Everyone !
My name is Ellie, Iam a new here . I got problem with my bf. we have been nearly one 1 year . we both love each other very much. 2 days ago he said that he descision just want to be my very close friend and he dont want to keep this long distances any more.
The reason is Distance and he didnt see any future of our relationship seems he felt give up with it.
I dont belive it cause we didnt fight , he was cried and still love me alot when he talk face up face with me, I can felling it . He is German and he just granduated last year and on the way looking for his job. its quiet stressfuly at the moment for him, and he behaved very strange for thesse days . So i decided to hold him back and trying to explain him about the situation and try to find the resole for us. We have been meet each other for toltal 4 month, he has been to vietnam twice time and i have been to germany 1 time , both of us met family and friends both sides already . we both have nice memories tgether
Iam very sad , its hurt me alot and this is a serious relationship. i tried to texted him and sent him the video but some one says that i shouldn't do it. i dont know what to do ...
Could you guys give me some recomenations for this case?

[Chris516]

hello Everyone !
My name is Ellie, I'm new here. I got problem with my bf. We have been nearly 1 year. We both love each other very much. 2 days ago he said that he decided just want to be my very close friend and he don't want to keep this long distance any more.

Ellie, Welcome to LFAD. I am sorry.

The reason is distance and he didn't see any future of our relationship seems he felt, give up with it. I don't believe it cause we didn't fight. He cried and still loves me a lot. When he talk face up face with me, I can felling it. He is German and he just graduated last year and on the way looking for his job. It's quite stressful at the moment for him. He behaved very strange for these days. So I decided to hold him back, trying to explain him about the situation and try to find the resolution for us.

He just graduated from college?

We have been meet each other for total 4 month. He has been to Vietnam twice and I have been to Germany 1 time. Both of us met family and friends both sides already. We both have nice memories together. I am very sad. It hurts me a lot and this is a serious relationship. I tried to text him, and sent him the video. But someone says that I shouldn't do it. I don't know what to do ...
Could you guys give me some recommendations for this case?

Wow!!! No wonder you feel hurt. You both met each other's family. I feel your pain from your words alone.

The only thing I can recommend. Is to wait and see if he changes his mind.

[R&R]

Unfortunately, no matter how much you may love someone, there can be reasons that the relationship won't last. Love doesn't conquer all. Some people are unable to continue in an LDR and it's better that they are up front and honest about it than dragging it out.

It was obviously hard for him to tell you and he does say he loves you. However, if he can't see a future, you can't make him see that. You can't make him change his mind. He may come around and he may not. I wouldn't sit back and hold my breath and I also wouldn't push yourself on him. It's time to move on with your life as an individual and focus on you now.

[Ellie luong]

thanks so much for your recomenation, Chrish !
my english is not good to explain more what i want to says, but hope you guys can understand .
No, he finished at university and looking for a job at the moment in areaspace engeneering.

[Ellie luong]

Thanks So much for your advices R&R ,
Somepeople also give me the same with your recomendation , but its seems very hard for me to say good bye to him, the one i love most.
he also said that maybe with the other love can comeover the carrier but for him its not, he didnt see any furture of us and he think that i will be his responsibility.
for me i never thinking like that , i tried to tell him obout my opinion by text and by video but seem he is trying to ingorned it now as he dicided. and i begin give up already.
Deeply in mysoul i realy want to hold him back , but the other side i also talk with myself that try to forget him and let him go.

[differentcountries]

If you managed to see each other for a whole of 4 months (1/3 of the year!) during a 12 period time, I can understand his concern. When he starts working he will not have that kind of vacation time. On the other hand, working is the key to afford closing the distance.

If you love him, you may keep in touch, but also dont wait around for him. It is his choice to end the relationship and if he stands by his decition, eventually it will be time to move on.

[Ellie luong]

hi differentcountries
Many thanks for your advices.
we both didnt talk with each other for 10 days already . iam feeling very bad. iam working at a hotel in Vietnam and my hotel have a lot of person came from Germany. it made me miss him more and more.
Iam tried to work more and more but anytime when i have free time i also remember about him. i know its not good
i wanted to contact with him but iam seem very scared the feeling that he will not respond me then i will feel very bad ...
what should i do now ?? iam feel very empty. and him too.

[Karura]

Hi Ellie!

I am so sorry to hear about your relationship, but like R&R said, sometimes even when two people love each other, that alone is not enough to keep a relationship going. It's hard to tell much from the small things you told us, but it seems like the distance and pressure got to your SO and he probably didn't see you both closing the distance in the future. It's hard to be in a relationship if there's no goal or expected date because it can feel like there's no future. I've been in a similar position where my ex only lived in the present. made no definite plans for the future and I had to end the relationship despite loving him because I couldn't see us closing the distance.

I would tell you to distract yourself and find things that make you happy, things before he was part of your life, like people you know and hobbies. Try and keep your head on other things because your life is too precious to rely on someone else.