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    What should I do?

    We broke up mutually.

    After a month of no contact, came his birthday, I messaged him to live well, and that i forgave him. Because didn't want to end our relationship in a sour note or with regrets. But i think he didn't understand that that was my final message to him. Kinna obvious tho in the way I phrased it all, please have a good life ahead... so anyway, he messaged me the next day asking how I was, how was work, how was this and that. That dragged on for three days. I felt uneasy, why was he doing that? We're suppose to let each other go. But it seems he wants to just let him talk to me, even if we were no longer in a romantic relationship.

    Then once every few days ~ to weekly, he would send me a random message like."I hope you have a good day today." or "Remember to eat well." It is kinna an Asian culture thing to do. But it isn't even a question. What could I say but coldly reply, yup, you too. To which he would just reply a smiley face. Like what is he thinking?!

    then after 5 weeks of this, he stopped contacting me.

    After a month, again, he messages me," How are you? I heard there is fine dust where you are just like here. Please take care of your health."

    I am so tempted to call him up to ask him directly, what is he trying to do and why does he still send me messages when we have already broken up. I think he only feels lonely or cant find anyone else to show him care and affection.

    But my other friends say just keep acting cool about it and just be normal. Try to be friends, but be smart not to give him so much attention.

    and another part of me think I should just block him once and for all, even though I still have feelings for him inside.

    What should I do?
    Last edited by cupcakesandtea; April 7, 2017, 07:38 AM.

    #2
    Originally posted by cupcakesandtea View Post
    We broke up mutually.

    After a month of no contact, came his birthday, I messaged him to live well, and that i forgave him. Because didn't want to end our relationship in a sour note or with regrets. But i think he didn't understand that that was my final message to him. Kinna obvious tho in the way I phrased it all, please have a good life ahead... so anyway, he messaged me the next day asking how I was, how was work, how was this and that. That dragged on for three days. I felt uneasy, why was he doing that? We're suppose to let each other go. But it seems he wants to just let him talk to me, even if we were no longer in a romantic relationship.

    Then once every few days ~ to weekly, he would send me a random message like."I hope you have a good day today." or "Remember to eat well." It is kinna a Korean culture thing to do. But it isn't even a question. What could I say but coldly reply, yup, you too. To which he would just reply a smiley face. Like what is he thinking?!

    then after 5 weeks of this, he stopped contacting me.

    After a month, again, he messages me," How are you? I heard there is fine dust where you are just like here in Korea. Please take care of your health."

    I am so tempted to call him up to ask him directly, what is he trying to do and why does he still send me messages when we have already broken up. I think he only feels lonely or cant find anyone else to show him care and affection.

    But my other friends say just keep acting cool about it and just be normal. Try to be friends, but be smart not to give him so much attention.

    and another part of me think I should just block him once as for all, even though I still have feelings for him inside.

    What should I do?
    One simple question......

    Why did you break up in the first place?

    First Visit: September 2016
    Second Visit: January 2017 (Her birthday)
    Third Visit: June 2018 (medical conference near her home)

    John 3:16
    For God so loved the world. That he gave his only begotten son. For whosoever believeth in him. Shall not perish but have eternal life
    John 4:12
    I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by Chris516 View Post
      One simple question......

      Why did you break up in the first place?
      We haven't met, but he doesn't want to meet me in the near future nor does he see a future with me. He used many practical reasons as excuses, distance, lack of funds and commitment to family etc. While I was very ready to work things out and give it a try, he wanted to stay as "special friends." I have to meet the person in real life first in order to start a serious relationship. So basically, we broke up because were not on the same page, and I didn't want to be stringed along.

      Comment


        #4
        Well, you messaged him. To him it might have been construed as you wanted to communicate again. It doesn't matter that you thought you had phrased it properly. You broke no contact so now he assumes it's OK to contact you.

        You could just tell him "I don't think we should talk anymore" and still to the no contact this time.
        So, here you are
        too foreign for home
        too foreign for here.
        Never enough for both.

        Ijeoma Umebinyuo, Diaspora Blues

        Comment


          #5
          Without knowing how long you were in this relationship.. perhaps your first contact again for his birthday made him feel that you genuinely cared for him as friend and that it was ok to keep communicating as a friend. If you have known each other a long time, it is hard to just stop caring altogether. Do any of his messages seem romantic again? If you want to stay friends, make it clear to him that "you know we are only just friends, right?" But if you are not comfortable staying strictly friends, then yes, tell him you need to stop communicating.
          Sparkling72

          "Strength in Us!"


          "exclusive" since May 13, 2016
          ** Shortened the distance!! December 2016 **
          closing the distance in ~ Oct. 2018

          Comment


            #6
            He wants to get back together I've done this to see if there is any interest again.

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by flogrownbeard View Post
              He wants to get back together I've done this to see if there is any interest again.
              Ok

              Best of luck.

              First Visit: September 2016
              Second Visit: January 2017 (Her birthday)
              Third Visit: June 2018 (medical conference near her home)

              John 3:16
              For God so loved the world. That he gave his only begotten son. For whosoever believeth in him. Shall not perish but have eternal life
              John 4:12
              I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by Ejoriah View Post
                Well, you messaged him. To him it might have been construed as you wanted to communicate again. It doesn't matter that you thought you had phrased it properly. You broke no contact so now he assumes it's OK to contact you.

                You could just tell him "I don't think we should talk anymore" and still to the no contact this time.
                I was going to comment the same thing. You messaged him first out of the blue thinking of him on his birthday, which is quite significant if you're not even supposed to be friends. Make up your mind and then let him know your decision: do you want to continue talking to him or not.

                Relationship began: 05/22/2012
                First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
                Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
                Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
                Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
                Married: 1/24/2015
                Became Resident: 9/14/2015

                Comment

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