Hi. I'm Saya. I'm from Japan. I'm new here and new to international loooong distance relationship.
First of all thank you for reading my post. It's going to be long one but try to make it short.
I don't have friends who's in same situation and my head is kind of exploding so I decided to write this post.
Hope you can help me out!
Also I'm sorry if my explanation or English is not clear and good enough. English is not my first language.
Anyway here is about us.
He's from the states (Chicago) and used to live/ work in my country (Japan).
He was a teacher here for 5 years. He came Japan right after finishing university.
We met last October through a mutual friend and started going out.
But since day 1, I knew he was leaving my country for backpacking.
He told me he wanted to see the world. That had been already decided before we met so I didn't say anything.
I just supported him.
He told me he hoped to come back to japan after his travel but since his visa will be expired in middle of June, he's not sure.
He's also thinking to get a job in the states also since hes never worked in his country but he doesn't have any career in the states so it might not that easy (he's 29)
Plus, he doesn't even know what he wants to do in his life yet. I don't even know what he's thinking now.
Anyway on Feb 1st, he left Japan for backpacking.
He mainly traveled in south east asia so time difference was only 2 hours.
It was hard but we messaged each other every day so not that harder than I thought.
End of March, he came back to Japan once for his friends wedding.
We saw each other almost every day. He stayed here only for a week.
Then went back to backpacking.
Last week, we went to Vietnam together and spent a week there.
Everything was great. But after that he went to Europe with his brother and his brother's wife.
He's currently in London then going to Paris and back to Chicago finally.
This is the first time for us to experience the big time difference (8 hrs).
And once he goes back to the states, it's going to be 14 hrs.
It's been only a week or so since we said goodbye in Vietnam.
But now i'm super anxious about us.
I don't know if he's coming back to my country.
Maybe never comes back if he gets a job there.
I don't know when I can actually see him next.
I can't talk to him just like it's used to be because of the time difference.
Because of the time difference, i feel like we're not talking as much as before.
That makes me feel a little bit insecure. I know it's not his fault but feel like he's losing interest in me.
Sometime I even hope like he can't find a job in the states then he'll come back to my country.
And start feeling like I'm such a bad person. I don't deserve him or whatever.
I think too much about things and started getting tired.
I've already tried to end this several times but every time I couldn't
At the same time I don't want to lose him. I just miss him. Want to see him.
If he decides to come back here, I'd definitely regret that I ended it.
My guts are telling me to go for it. Wait for him a little more.
Might get hurt but either way it's going to be my experience.
But mentally I don't know if i can do this.
Does any of you have same situation or experience?
How do you guys cope with these difficulties?
I'm so sorry my whole sentences are mess and heard to understand.
I'm a mess now so oh well. haha
Thanks in advance.
Saya
First of all thank you for reading my post. It's going to be long one but try to make it short.
I don't have friends who's in same situation and my head is kind of exploding so I decided to write this post.
Hope you can help me out!
Also I'm sorry if my explanation or English is not clear and good enough. English is not my first language.
Anyway here is about us.
He's from the states (Chicago) and used to live/ work in my country (Japan).
He was a teacher here for 5 years. He came Japan right after finishing university.
We met last October through a mutual friend and started going out.
But since day 1, I knew he was leaving my country for backpacking.
He told me he wanted to see the world. That had been already decided before we met so I didn't say anything.
I just supported him.
He told me he hoped to come back to japan after his travel but since his visa will be expired in middle of June, he's not sure.
He's also thinking to get a job in the states also since hes never worked in his country but he doesn't have any career in the states so it might not that easy (he's 29)
Plus, he doesn't even know what he wants to do in his life yet. I don't even know what he's thinking now.
Anyway on Feb 1st, he left Japan for backpacking.
He mainly traveled in south east asia so time difference was only 2 hours.
It was hard but we messaged each other every day so not that harder than I thought.
End of March, he came back to Japan once for his friends wedding.
We saw each other almost every day. He stayed here only for a week.
Then went back to backpacking.
Last week, we went to Vietnam together and spent a week there.
Everything was great. But after that he went to Europe with his brother and his brother's wife.
He's currently in London then going to Paris and back to Chicago finally.
This is the first time for us to experience the big time difference (8 hrs).
And once he goes back to the states, it's going to be 14 hrs.
It's been only a week or so since we said goodbye in Vietnam.
But now i'm super anxious about us.
I don't know if he's coming back to my country.
Maybe never comes back if he gets a job there.
I don't know when I can actually see him next.
I can't talk to him just like it's used to be because of the time difference.
Because of the time difference, i feel like we're not talking as much as before.
That makes me feel a little bit insecure. I know it's not his fault but feel like he's losing interest in me.
Sometime I even hope like he can't find a job in the states then he'll come back to my country.
And start feeling like I'm such a bad person. I don't deserve him or whatever.
I think too much about things and started getting tired.
I've already tried to end this several times but every time I couldn't
At the same time I don't want to lose him. I just miss him. Want to see him.
If he decides to come back here, I'd definitely regret that I ended it.
My guts are telling me to go for it. Wait for him a little more.
Might get hurt but either way it's going to be my experience.
But mentally I don't know if i can do this.
Does any of you have same situation or experience?
How do you guys cope with these difficulties?
I'm so sorry my whole sentences are mess and heard to understand.
I'm a mess now so oh well. haha
Thanks in advance.
Saya
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