So... things have generally been going well with my guy.
I was in his country (Iceland) from Jan-Feb for six weeks and he wanted to get together pretty much every day. He also bought me dinner a few times, and I met his brother and mother and father and hung out with him and his friends again. It was so nice and of course it was hard to say goodbye.
By the end that trip I finally had the courage to invite him to come visit me in Canada and he said he'd love to. He also said I was welcome back there any time.
Since coming home I would say things were stronger between us. He's been really good about keeping in touch and we've chatted almost every day (or every other day) and he's video called me a few times.
I'm really confused this week though. Two weekends ago, he called me Fri night and we video chatted for a while. And then the Saturday when he woke up he video called me and we chatted again . I finally asked him if I could come for a visit in June. It was something I'd been thinking about for a while and I finally asked him so I could nail down some dates and book a flight. He said yes, and we talked about when was good, and I ended up booking a flight that following Monday night and was really excited!
He also said he's interested in possibly coming to visit me here in Toronto when he has his vacation in July / August and I was really happy about that and it showed me he was taking my invite seriously
However, since last Friday he's seemed a lot quieter than usual and that has me feeling very confused. He sent a few messages on Friday showing he was out with one of his good friends, and then I asked him later what event he was at and he didn't respond. (Which was a bit weird but I brushed it off because I knew he was probably just out being social). The next day I asked him how his Friday night was and he didn't respond till hours later saying he "barely survived" (Context for those who need it: It's very normal in Nordic culture for them to go out drinking all night on Friday nights - and spend Saturday hungover. It's also somewhat normal to pick up one night stands when really drunk, however if you're in a relationship that's generally looked down on).
I messaged him again on Sunday and he didn't respond, and Tues night and we chatted again briefly.
But something just seems off. He's not responding as he usually does and he's not reaching out to me as much as he usually does. And, yesterday I saw he "liked" a photo of a new (female, single) friend on Facebook (he VERY rarely likes photos of anyone on Facebook). It's also possible that it's just a new friend he met (through his brother and one of his best friends, as it looks like they were friends with her already) and he was being nice. But yeah, this kind of hurt considering he "liked" that photo yesterday and hasn't messaged me since Tuesday night, after I reached out to him.
This has me all super worried. I keep assuming the worst and that maybe he met this girl or a girl and had a one night stand while he was really drunk last Friday. And that maybe he feels super awkward and/or guilty about it which is why he's being so quiet with me all of a sudden :-(
I don't want to assume the worst but something just feels off. But I'm having a hard time also second guessing myself and wondering if I'm just overreacting and/or letting my anxiety get the better of me.
And for more info: I haven't yet had the courage to have the "talk" about where we stand as far as exclusivity and do we want the same things. He's very much TREATED me like a girlfriend but no we haven't officially declared that we're in an exclusive relationship. I've been wanting to talk about these things with him lately, as we have obviously liked each other a lot and I need to figure out where things are going with the relationship. But I am very shy about bringing these things up, it's not easy for me. But I was also planning and thinking about having this talk in person when I'm there in June.
Am I overreacting? Do I need to just back off for a bit and see if he reaches out to me? Or should I reach out to him and ask him why he's been so quiet lately. I don't like this feeling :-(, esp with my trip coming up on June 4. I'm just really, really confused by his behaviour the last two weeks.
I was in his country (Iceland) from Jan-Feb for six weeks and he wanted to get together pretty much every day. He also bought me dinner a few times, and I met his brother and mother and father and hung out with him and his friends again. It was so nice and of course it was hard to say goodbye.
By the end that trip I finally had the courage to invite him to come visit me in Canada and he said he'd love to. He also said I was welcome back there any time.
Since coming home I would say things were stronger between us. He's been really good about keeping in touch and we've chatted almost every day (or every other day) and he's video called me a few times.
I'm really confused this week though. Two weekends ago, he called me Fri night and we video chatted for a while. And then the Saturday when he woke up he video called me and we chatted again . I finally asked him if I could come for a visit in June. It was something I'd been thinking about for a while and I finally asked him so I could nail down some dates and book a flight. He said yes, and we talked about when was good, and I ended up booking a flight that following Monday night and was really excited!
He also said he's interested in possibly coming to visit me here in Toronto when he has his vacation in July / August and I was really happy about that and it showed me he was taking my invite seriously
However, since last Friday he's seemed a lot quieter than usual and that has me feeling very confused. He sent a few messages on Friday showing he was out with one of his good friends, and then I asked him later what event he was at and he didn't respond. (Which was a bit weird but I brushed it off because I knew he was probably just out being social). The next day I asked him how his Friday night was and he didn't respond till hours later saying he "barely survived" (Context for those who need it: It's very normal in Nordic culture for them to go out drinking all night on Friday nights - and spend Saturday hungover. It's also somewhat normal to pick up one night stands when really drunk, however if you're in a relationship that's generally looked down on).
I messaged him again on Sunday and he didn't respond, and Tues night and we chatted again briefly.
But something just seems off. He's not responding as he usually does and he's not reaching out to me as much as he usually does. And, yesterday I saw he "liked" a photo of a new (female, single) friend on Facebook (he VERY rarely likes photos of anyone on Facebook). It's also possible that it's just a new friend he met (through his brother and one of his best friends, as it looks like they were friends with her already) and he was being nice. But yeah, this kind of hurt considering he "liked" that photo yesterday and hasn't messaged me since Tuesday night, after I reached out to him.
This has me all super worried. I keep assuming the worst and that maybe he met this girl or a girl and had a one night stand while he was really drunk last Friday. And that maybe he feels super awkward and/or guilty about it which is why he's being so quiet with me all of a sudden :-(
I don't want to assume the worst but something just feels off. But I'm having a hard time also second guessing myself and wondering if I'm just overreacting and/or letting my anxiety get the better of me.
And for more info: I haven't yet had the courage to have the "talk" about where we stand as far as exclusivity and do we want the same things. He's very much TREATED me like a girlfriend but no we haven't officially declared that we're in an exclusive relationship. I've been wanting to talk about these things with him lately, as we have obviously liked each other a lot and I need to figure out where things are going with the relationship. But I am very shy about bringing these things up, it's not easy for me. But I was also planning and thinking about having this talk in person when I'm there in June.
Am I overreacting? Do I need to just back off for a bit and see if he reaches out to me? Or should I reach out to him and ask him why he's been so quiet lately. I don't like this feeling :-(, esp with my trip coming up on June 4. I'm just really, really confused by his behaviour the last two weeks.
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