Feeling so alone

[AbbyDrewery]

Hi, I'm Abby and I've been with my long distance partner for 4 years and we have a 2 year old son together. Me and our son live in the UK while my partner lives in Turkey. This is definitely NOT how we want to spend our lives. But because of how impossible they make it to get a live visa for here unless your rich (which we aren't) we don't know what else to do. I also cannot afford to move to Turkey.

However, we were just lucky enough to spend a wonderful 5 months together on a visit visa he got. But before then we hadn't seen each other in 10 months! My partner and our son developed such a wonderful, close bond that you'd wish all fathers and sons had. They love each other to death and nothing makes me happier than seeing them happy. And then last Sunday he had to go home. I feel so empty and lost. My son is so confused and upset asking where his 'baba' has gone. It's breaking my heart. I know my partner is so sad missing us too. But how do I explain to a 2 year old little boy that his baba can't live with us because the government says so. 💔

Here I have no friends and my family don't really get what "family' is suppose to mean. I live with my mum still but our relationship is poor. No one in my family seems to cate about our situation or wants to help us. I'm so lost and broken. I want nothing more than to be hugged by my partner and son. One of the most basic things in life. We miss him so much.

[80anthea]

Do you video chat? Just thinking that might help with the father-son bond. It must be so difficult with such a young child though

[differentcountries]

Hi,

that sounds very difficult. It is always hard to be away from a loved one, and I can imagine especially with a young child it is even harder. Post-visit blues can be so hard. I have never spent 5 months with a partner (our longest visits were 1 month), but even after a shorter time together it can feel so strange to be apart.

I have dated my SO, also a Turk, almost 4 years. We do not have any kids, though. I have not had a steady job (I recovered from sickness when we met), so my main focus is to get a good job so that I can afford to visit him and eventually hopefully bring him to my country. I hope you succed in your plans eventually, too.

Just to meet new people, I hear some people get new friends through meetup groups. And play groups, too. And Turkish class, if there is one nearby you.

SOs best friend used to record videos for his son when they used to be apart. I guess it can help even if it is not the real thing.