I dont know what he wants

[Lisathemartian]

My ex boyfriend from 20 years ago came back to California for a visit and asked about me looking for my number through my dad. I contacted him and we have text almost daily for a month and half. We are both single but he lives in Mexico and I am currently in California but leaving to Australia in a month.
History of us...
He worked for my dad met when i was 13 he was 16 we only dated for 4 months but i kissed someone else. The next 3 years we remained friends with benefits (not sex but everything else). I fell madly in love with him first love and he always told me he loved me. He ended up going back to Mexico and promised to come back. Months passed and i was told by his sister he was getting married that weekend. I called he denied it said everyone else was lying.
Jump 20 years....
He calls me baby babe hun princess sweetheart..etc
Sends me good morning text and good night texts and we text off and on all day even though he works 10 hour days.
He sends me selfies at work
Now he is saying since he cant come to California before i leave he will one day fly to Australia to see me again and spend 2 weeks just me and him (expensive booty call imo). I am so confused i am falling for him but dont know if he sees me as a friend only or wants more he says we will be friends forever and that the past is forgotten. Any help....????
*** I married once and divorced 2 years ago he married 3 times. We both have 3 kids he has a 19 year old...

[erwin1973]

Hi and welcome to LDR.

First of all, we are no mindreaders, so if you want to know what he wants, you should ask him, not us.

He calls you sweet names, you say. Well, in my humble opinion that means he wants to be more then friends, also because of the load of selfies and the 'good morning' texts.

But again, if you want to know what he wants, or thinks, the only way to find out is ask him. We don't know for sure... we can only guess.

[snow]

Ask him. You don't want to get into a situation you are not comfortable with and if he means what he is saying, then he should not have an issue to talk about where you're standing in this relationship. Ask him if you are in a relationship, if you are exclusive and if you are going to be together while you're in Australia.

[Chris516]

My ex boyfriend from 20 years ago came back to California for a visit and asked about me looking for my number through my dad. I contacted him and we have text almost daily for a month and half. We are both single but he lives in Mexico and I am currently in California but leaving to Australia in a month.
History of us...
He worked for my dad met when i was 13 he was 16 we only dated for 4 months but i kissed someone else. The next 3 years we remained friends with benefits (not sex but everything else). I fell madly in love with him first love and he always told me he loved me. He ended up going back to Mexico and promised to come back. Months passed and i was told by his sister he was getting married that weekend. I called he denied it said everyone else was lying.
Jump 20 years....
He calls me baby babe hun princess sweetheart..etc
Sends me good morning text and good night texts and we text off and on all day even though he works 10 hour days.
He sends me selfies at work
Now he is saying since he cant come to California before i leave he will one day fly to Australia to see me again and spend 2 weeks just me and him (expensive booty call imo). I am so confused i am falling for him but dont know if he sees me as a friend only or wants more he says we will be friends forever and that the past is forgotten. Any help....????
*** I married once and divorced 2 years ago he married 3 times. We both have 3 kids he has a 19 year old...

Paralysis analysis

[Lisathemartian]

Paralysis analysis

I am confused by what u mean?

[differentcountries]

So, many years ago you dated this guy, cheated on him, kept it casual and then he left because he was marrying someone else. Since you have both done the marriage and kids route. Then, he says he cant visit you in the neighbouring country, but promises to fly around the globe to visit you there. He is friendly, bordering intimate.

Now, I dont know how he feels. But when it comes to international relationships especially, you have to walk the walk and talk the talk. To fly around the globe is expensive. Mexicans cant get easy e-visa til Australia (unlike people from the US). My wild guess is that he did not think this through, at all. The fact that he used a non-committing phrase like "one day" is telling - this is a fantasy, something he just throws out to test the waters, or alternatively; maybe he simply has no idea how things work. It seems that between the two of you, you have the means and uppertunity to travel, and perhaps not him. If you are going to talk about dating, you have to get very real about how to stay in touch. No ticket or visa ever booked itself.