Stressed from language barrier and waiting for first meeting

[Eastmeetswestgirl]

So me and my SO from South Korea have been together for about a month and life has been swell. Except that as we continue in our relationship I can start to feel the language barrier between us. Don't get me wrong I really do love talking to him and sharing moments together, but we are both begginners in eachothers languages. This has lead to some misuderstandings and awkwards silences when we skype. It also makes me worried when we are going to meet eachothers family.

To add to this I have been really stressed and worried about being able to finally see eachother in person. He has agreed to visit me and he is saving up which I love him so much for it. But I have moments where I am really depressed and I just want to hold him. It doesn't help when I see other couples holding hands and kissing. I know he will come in 5 months but it feels like forever!

Any advice on dealing with these two problems? Sorry this is so long!

[autumn1790]

In my opinion, the language barrier is one of the most awesome things about international relationships. It can be rewarding to learn how another culture uses lingo, and over time, you learn to understand each other in a way no one else can. I still have to translate my SO's accent and phraseology to my family, even though they've Skyped with him countless times. Through trial and error and probably some miscommunication, you will develop your own heart language with each other.
Every one on here goes through periods of missing their SOs, and everyone deals with it differently. Some like to talk to their SO and vent, others like to distract themselves with something else. Find what works for you. But try not to be venting all the time about how frustrating the distance can be..trust me, I know it's easy. But, misery lives company, but company usually doesn't love misery.
Hang in there--five months is doable! Enjoy the time and relationship you have now...you'll never get these days back!

[Eastmeetswestgirl]

Thank you so much! I will try my best to communicate and fight through these 5 months!

[Rezie]

Language barrier sucks in my opinion. Autumn has a great approach and I'm gonna try to think more like that but I'm not there yet. I'm pretty fluent in his language and he doesn't speak a word of my language. So we don't have a massive language barrier. My emotional language is my native language and it will always be that way. I sometimes struggle with how to say things especially if I'm stressed, hurry or there is a chaos. He will always have to explain some words for me. The language they teach in school is different from how people actually speak. Sometimes when I go weeks without speaking my own language I feel like I don't know how to speak anymore. He will always struggle with my family and can't communicate with everyone. He will have to accept that sometimes he just can't get things done in here since he can't speak the language.

That being said. There are benefits like me learning the language better, learning dialects and all that. And it is something we have to deal with. We need to learn a way to communicate so neither of us have the upper hand and accept that we have to explain ourselves. We have to find a common language that works for us. Is it annoying that sometimes when I'm tired I need to translate my thought to another language? yes. Is it annoying for him that I ask "what does that mean" and he has to explain his word choice and dumb it down for me? I'm sure. Is it worth it? Yes.
So my advice is patience. Try to learn, understand each other, explain, ask questions.

We all miss our patners. It's completely normal. Being jeous of other couples, we have all been there. Just talk, send pictures, plan your meet up and the time will go quickkly

[autumn1790]

Language barrier sucks in my opinion. Autumn has a great approach and I'm gonna try to think more like that but I'm not there yet.

Perhaps I was being a bit idealistic. I know when I hear my SO rattling off in Hindi compared to his slower and sometimes struggling use of English, I feel really bad that I can't speak to him in his mother tongue. And if I try using Google translate, I inevitably use the wrong gender, or tense, or word altogether. I think he still appreciates the effort...as he says, trying counts. Just keep trying.