I no more know what to believe..

[Fatimazahra]

My current bf and I knew eachother on instagram, i just made a new one with no pics of me, he sent me a msg we started talking about my country and how he always wanted to visit it, we switched to whatsapp finished talking on same subject (travel), he asked for a pic of me,after sending it he was like wow how beautiful u're! (tho i'm not rlly a gd looking girl), and asked fr a pic a scd time, i sent it again & out of sudden he asked me if i can let him date me,i told him tht it's a fast decision he disagreed saying tht m his dream girl and he'll be visiting me n make this work (tho he knw nthg abt me then), so i gave him a chance and said yes..
after a while all what he was talking about since then was intimate stuff, n how he wishes if he can kiss me n all tht kinda thing, he was only focusing on the intimate part and rarely when he asks me about smthg personal, it has been 10days since we've been talking for everyday, & the intimate part was always the dominant one in our conversation, it all happened quickly,he'll be visiting me the next month as he claimed, and we've even planned for our future and me moving to live with him,getting married and work hard for this in case things worked out after meeting.
*i asked him abt the reason he talks abt intimacy alot and he said that he can't control being lustful and he's tht way only with me, it's his weird needs and the way of loving and he combines lust with love still he'll be loyal to me*
i'm not sure what to believe sometimes he sounds serious about us and other times he rlly get on my nerves by talking abt nthg but his desires/fantazies.., shall i wait till he come or is there anyway how to know what r his intentions now and if he's really saying the truth ?

[Honour]

Wow, wow, wow! Slow down a bit! You've only been together 10 days! You shouldn't even be considering marriage so quickly. You wouldn't do it in real life, so why would you feel the need to even discuss it yet just because you're in an LDR? You need to take the time to get to know each other, go through a honeymoon phase and see how things progress and how you both endure. You need to know whether or not he is who he says he is, you need to slow things down completely. Enjoy each others' company. Get used to each other.

...And honestly, that's what I would always tell anyone who I think is rushing into something. But in your case... I have a feeling it could just be he has one thing on his mind. Being intimate and showing affection is one thing, but honestly from what you've stated, it sounds like he's far more focused on another level entirely. Proceed with caution. I would wait a bit longer before you consider meeting in real life. See if you can find out more about him, get to know him, what he's really like. And remember... do not let him coerce you to do something you'd be uncomfortable with. Even long distance, he can't make you do anything you don't want to do. You have the right to say no, and walk away if things become too uncomfortable. Time will tell though.

[erwin1973]

Ok, so you're happy with him, but also confused. I can understand that. He asked you for a photo twice and you sent it - I can understand that. Did you ask photo's from him? And get? You know, there is a way to find out if he at least is the person the photo shows. And that is asking for a specific pose that is uncommon.

Then, you should really be talking about each others daily life, character, and things like that. Not only about adult stuff. If that is all he can talk about, what is the depth of a relationship?

And I fully agree with Honour that after 10 days talking about marriage is a little bit quick. I would be very, very careful at first about what I share - and no nudes for sure. Be careful, and Honour is giving you good advice.

Stay alert.

[BellaDonna]

There are some serious red flags here, hun. It's very possible you are dealing with a narcissist or a conman, and he is love bombing you in order to suck you in. The fact that he only focuses on the intimate aspect of your relationship, doesn't ask any other questions about you, and is talking marriage this soon when you haven't even met would make me extremely leery of him.

I know it can be fun and exciting to meet someone new, and to have that "swept off your feet" sort of romance but you have to be very cautious these days. My SO and I met online and as much as we liked each other, we were careful not to reveal too much, too quickly.

If he comes to visit be sure to meet in public places and don't let him push you into anything you aren't ready for. In fact, I would suggest you establish the rules before he comes to see you. If he's sincere, he'll respect those boundaries but if not, he'll either make up a reason as to why he can't come see you or he'll try to talk you into crossing your own boundaries.

Please be careful, luv. Time is on your side so use it to your advantage. If he's some sort of con man then he's looking for easy prey...don't serve yourself up as the main course.

[differentcountries]

Hi,

if he really is visiting you next month you can use this time to really get to know each other. Perhaps he can meet your family and friends, too.

I would ask for pictures of the ticket etc. to make sure he is really coming. Is his holiday time really in August? I would be a little bit sceptical, because most people who have a job in Norway, have a lot to do in August. That is why I would ask to see the tickets.

Yes, you middle Easterns are quick to talk about marriage! My by did too as soon as we started dating. But to be allowed to be together after you are married, they will expect you to know things like: Where did you grow up? How many siblings do you have? What is the other person's favourite food? What is your relationship with your families? What are your dreams for the future etc. These are things you can easily talk about online, too. What are you curious to know about him? What would you like the he knows about you?

There is nothing wrong to be lustful, and for sure Norwegian men are NOT shy about sex, even with women they care deeply about, just keep in mind that right now you have only known each other a couple of weeks - and if you send nudes, leave out your face.

What my bf and I do a lot, is send each other pictures of where we are and where we live. That is a way of getting to know each other AND you can easily see if he is the place he says he is, if he sends pictures and you can see the same place changing from day to day.

Good luck.

[rache82]

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There are some serious red flags here, hun. It's very possible you are dealing with a narcissist or a conman, and he is love bombing you in order to suck you in. The fact that he only focuses on the intimate aspect of your relationship, doesn't ask any other questions about you, and is talking marriage this soon when you haven't even met would make me extremely leery of him.

I know it can be fun and exciting to meet someone new, and to have that "swept off your feet" sort of romance but you have to be very cautious these days. My SO and I met online and as much as we liked each other, we were careful not to reveal too much, too quickly.

If he comes to visit be sure to meet in public places and don't let him push you into anything you aren't ready for. In fact, I would suggest you establish the rules before he comes to see you. If he's sincere, he'll respect those boundaries but if not, he'll either make up a reason as to why he can't come see you or he'll try to talk you into crossing your own boundaries.

Please be careful, luv. Time is on your side so use it to your advantage. If he's some sort of con man then he's looking for easy prey...don't serve yourself up as the main course.

I agree with this and what others have said. My alarm bells started ringing after the second sentence honestly. please just be careful. In my opinion, no-one in their right mind should ask you to date them based on a photo and also straight away and talk about marriage. It does sound very weird to me, so just tell him to slow down and you'll very soon find out if it's for real or not.