Seems like she is losing interest

[games]

Hi,

I need an opinion about my situation, any help is appreciated. I met this girl on an online dating site and have been dating for like 4 months. We are living in different time zones (5 hours time difference). In the beginning it was all good and dandy, when we were started getting to know eachother we messaged everyday. We had good morning messages and video chats every week. At some point (like 2 months in) she just dissapeared on me for a few days. She saw my messages and started replying very late. I felt like she ghosted me or something. At some point she started to reply more often again, i confronted her about being ignored and asked her what was going on. Her only reply was that she has been really busy lately (which could be, but i never believe those kind of arguements). I was suppicious about the situation and checked the site again. It seemed like she has been using her account recently. When i asked about it she told me a friend was using it. I don't know how to feel about this. At that point my trust started to shatter.

Now (2 months after the situation) we aren't texting that often anymore, i try to keep her posted about my days, but she doesn't seem to care and tell me about hers. When i ask her about it, it seems like she just ignores the question. She is still active on the dating site. When we agreed to video chat, she tells me at the last moment she is too busy (this has happened multiple times). When i try to schedule a video chat nowadays, she just tells me straight up that she doesn't have the time for it. I wanted to visit her, but after what has happened i'm not sure anymore. Any advice? I have the feeling i should just cut my losses, but i don't want to lose her

[erwin1973]

I hate to tell you, but she lost interest. Indeed: cut your loss and move one.
You cannot have a relationship with someone who doesn't want. No matter how much you want, if the other doesn't you have to let go.

[BellaDonna]

I'm afraid I agree with Erwin, luv. As hard as it is to let go, sometimes it's the best thing to do. It may be that she can't handle a LDR and doesn't want to hurt you so she's avoiding you instead. It may hurt right now but how she's handling this is a major red flag and the Universe is sending you a message...be smart and dodge the bullet.

[games]

Thanks for the replies. I was just hoping there was a way to fix this. Since i have met their parents and told them i would visit them (they even wanted me to marry her, but i think that's too soon). What would be the best way to tell her and her parents that it won't work out? I don't know, is there any chance to save the relationship?

[Honour]

You're clinging onto something that's not gonna work out. You need to just be upfront and honest, don't visit them, just end things and walk away.

[erwin1973]

The best way to tell her is just to tell you want to break up. Tell her you feel it's a one-way relationship (you to her) and you don't feel any commitment from her side. At least, when I read your post, that is how you feel it. So that will be the truth then, will it? Always tell the truth.

[Rezie]

Thanks for the replies. I was just hoping there was a way to fix this. Since i have met their parents and told them i would visit them (they even wanted me to marry her, but i think that's too soon). What would be the best way to tell her and her parents that it won't work out? I don't know, is there any chance to save the relationship?

Let her know that you feel like she is ghosting you and you don't want to be in one-sided relationship. In my opinion the parents are irrelevant in this case.

[Moon]

Thanks for the replies. I was just hoping there was a way to fix this. Since i have met their parents and told them i would visit them (they even wanted me to marry her, but i think that's too soon). What would be the best way to tell her and her parents that it won't work out? I don't know, is there any chance to save the relationship?

You don't owe her parents an explanation, the relationship was still very new and fizzled out. Unfortunately, it just happens sometimes, especially when you're young. In four months, you haven't invested very much time yet, so at this point, just end it and walk away, you aren't losing anything except maybe some pride. I'm really sorry, but she's just not into you anymore, you can't really fix that. Good luck.

[hmrambling]

Here's some food for thought: perhaps the two of you are not exclusively dating, and that she is simply talking to multiple people on a dating site. If you aren't getting responses and she has no time for you I would not call that an exclusive relationship.

[BellaDonna]

I think you just need to be honest, stay true to your feelings, and don't take ownership of anyone else's. She and her parents have to own their own feelings about this. Doing what's best for you doesn't make you selfish. It's okay to say no to something/someone that's not working for you. Good luck. Sorry you're going through this...I know it hurts.

[NewToLongDistance2016]

Hi,

I need an opinion about my situation, any help is appreciated. I met this girl on an online dating site and have been dating for like 4 months. We are living in different time zones (5 hours time difference). In the beginning it was all good and dandy, when we were started getting to know eachother we messaged everyday. We had good morning messages and video chats every week. At some point (like 2 months in) she just dissapeared on me for a few days. She saw my messages and started replying very late. I felt like she ghosted me or something. At some point she started to reply more often again, i confronted her about being ignored and asked her what was going on. Her only reply was that she has been really busy lately (which could be, but i never believe those kind of arguements). I was suppicious about the situation and checked the site again. It seemed like she has been using her account recently. When i asked about it she told me a friend was using it. I don't know how to feel about this. At that point my trust started to shatter.

Now (2 months after the situation) we aren't texting that often anymore, i try to keep her posted about my days, but she doesn't seem to care and tell me about hers. When i ask her about it, it seems like she just ignores the question. She is still active on the dating site. When we agreed to video chat, she tells me at the last moment she is too busy (this has happened multiple times). When i try to schedule a video chat nowadays, she just tells me straight up that she doesn't have the time for it. I wanted to visit her, but after what has happened i'm not sure anymore. Any advice? I have the feeling i should just cut my losses, but i don't want to lose her

The easiest thing you can do is let her go. I dislike seeing people in that situation because I know the hurt associated w/wanting someone who doesn't want you. I dated a guy for 6 months LD and I'm pretty happy that he actually left me after I confronted him about being a non priority in his life. Once I started dating, I saw how many guys are really out there and now I'm a heck of a lot happier dating someone else who happens to be local (not bashing LD, just didn't work for me. We get see each other a few times a week, but we still text everyday and talk on the phone several times a week. This feels so much better then having to hope my SO doesn't forget to vid chat that day. You deserve much better.