Extreme anxiety about never closing the distance?

[Haemgraffiti]

Hey there! I was just wondering if anyone here has had multiple visits with their SO and still feels the over whelming fear that they'll never close the gap? It'll be 2 years in December and I'm due with our little boy in October and despite the fact that we'll have a baby together and we are planning to close the distance next summer doesn't seem to calm the fears! Any tips to help with the extra stress/ anxiety?

[Rezie]

I've had that feeling for a long time. We have been doing the distance for more than 5 years. I was ready to break up. We still haven't close the distance but for the first time we have a concrete plan. This has calmed me down. I had a lot of anxiety before this and I was about to cry at any moment, didn't want to talk to him and felt like I hated my life.

Having a baby definitely makes it more complicated. My advice is that have a solid plan. A date to close the distance. That way it's about in the air "once I get a job" "around summer". An actual date. Sometime if visa is required or not be possible. Do you have a maternity leave so you could go to him for a prolonged period of time? Of course the location affects if it's ok for a baby to travel.

[applescruff]

I'm not going to be very helpful, but I just want to say that I've been in an LDR for over 5 years and my SO and I still have no plan/deadline to close the distance. So I totally understand the anxiety, I've had it for a long time just like Rezie. I'm sort of jealous that you at least have an idea when you close the distance, you said next year. All I can say is to keep working together with your SO to make it happen, keep talking about it and have your SO reassure you. Like Rezie said, have a more concrete date planned and have a schedule of what you need to do and when to be able to close the distance by that date. Try to meet those deadlines, but if you fail..that's okay. Make a new deadline. Keep your chin up and you should see progress.

[differentcountries]

Closing the distance internationally is not always easy. At least the way I look upon it, is a series of steps. Doing hings that makes closing the distance easier and taking initiatives. We have been long distance internationally 4 years, but we cant close the distance to me before I get a full time job and we get married. I sometimes feel frustrated, especially when I dont have enough money to visit, but I am not really scared anymore- I know that we both want to be together and I have seen us working towards that, so I can picture it happening.

What is your plan to close the distance? Did you look into the various visa options?