Hey.
I'll be very concise, because I feel like deep down I know exactly what I should do, but I'm just so easily attached to people.
I met this guy online via a roleplaying site (mostly smut, classy, I know!). We roleplayed together for a while, and talked. One thing led to another and we quickly developed feelings for each other, as crazy as it may sound. I stopped roleplaying and so did he. We're both very strong personalities (he more so than me).
He is a busy guy. I work as well, but have arguably more time on my hands. Thing is, our contact had been scarce and getting more and more so each day. On the weekends, he disappears completely. Never thinks of spending even a single weekend "with" me, saying he's tired of sitting in front of a computer from his work. While I understand that, I'm also aware that in the 4,5 months we've been talking, there hasn't been a single weekend that we could "spend" together.
Sometimes he'll go off radar. Just like that. Then he'll come back like nothing happened and if I dare to "question" him, he will get snappy back.
We butt heads a lot, mostly about me being overwhelming and demanding of contact.
Lately, however, he basically snapped at me, using a curseword, and then began to ignore me for two days. Two, because I caved in and couldn't take it, so I messaged him asking for an answer. He didn't respond. So I messaged again, hating myself for the behavior. I felt like my pride was gone, and my self-esteem went down, too. Finally, after two days and some more begging, we had a chat via text. He told me I was passive-aggressive in his eyes and I pissed him off, so he ignored me. I responded that I didn't even think of my messages that way, and told him it's illogical to not communicate his emotions to me and expect results. And on top of that, to ignore my, give me a timeout like I'm a misbehaving child.
On top of everything, around the time he ignored me, he went to the roleplaying site and befriended a girl from close to him (she actually lived in the same city and apparently moved just recently). I jump on there occassionally, not really talking to anyone, but I check some profiles of my friends with whom I keep in touch. They don't have a thread open, but I'm 100% sure they are DMing. Which is fine. Except, when I openly told him why I felt ignored even before he actually ignored me, he ridiculed me for stalking him, changing the topic entirely. I asked him openly - because I refuse to have this thought cultivate in my mind now that I am at a very low point after this bs - whether he was writing smut with her. His response was shady enough, basically something along the lines of "Even if I would, it would be on the forum, so you would see it". No, it doesn't have to be on the forum. He has a history of doing it via DMs. I know I should be respectful and trustful, but I am just... So done and tired after receiving that "I'm going to ignore you because you pissed me off" treatment while he was happily talking to another girl he just met and I was sick to the stomach, two days passing by in some sort of a trance.
Things are "fine" now, because I've bent so hard my spine almost broke. Do I feel better that he's talking to me again? Not at all. If anything, I feel the same amount of sick that I did before. I just can't understand how someone who claims to have feelings for another person would put them through the "ignore treatment" and even after they came begging, have them beg some more. He never said he was sorry for doing this to me, I was the only one saying I was sorry. I asked him when was he going to talk to me if I didn't come crawling, but of course, no answer and a warped change of topic.
I feel broken.
Someone slap me and tell me to get a hold of myself. Thanks.
I'll be very concise, because I feel like deep down I know exactly what I should do, but I'm just so easily attached to people.
I met this guy online via a roleplaying site (mostly smut, classy, I know!). We roleplayed together for a while, and talked. One thing led to another and we quickly developed feelings for each other, as crazy as it may sound. I stopped roleplaying and so did he. We're both very strong personalities (he more so than me).
He is a busy guy. I work as well, but have arguably more time on my hands. Thing is, our contact had been scarce and getting more and more so each day. On the weekends, he disappears completely. Never thinks of spending even a single weekend "with" me, saying he's tired of sitting in front of a computer from his work. While I understand that, I'm also aware that in the 4,5 months we've been talking, there hasn't been a single weekend that we could "spend" together.
Sometimes he'll go off radar. Just like that. Then he'll come back like nothing happened and if I dare to "question" him, he will get snappy back.
We butt heads a lot, mostly about me being overwhelming and demanding of contact.
Lately, however, he basically snapped at me, using a curseword, and then began to ignore me for two days. Two, because I caved in and couldn't take it, so I messaged him asking for an answer. He didn't respond. So I messaged again, hating myself for the behavior. I felt like my pride was gone, and my self-esteem went down, too. Finally, after two days and some more begging, we had a chat via text. He told me I was passive-aggressive in his eyes and I pissed him off, so he ignored me. I responded that I didn't even think of my messages that way, and told him it's illogical to not communicate his emotions to me and expect results. And on top of that, to ignore my, give me a timeout like I'm a misbehaving child.
On top of everything, around the time he ignored me, he went to the roleplaying site and befriended a girl from close to him (she actually lived in the same city and apparently moved just recently). I jump on there occassionally, not really talking to anyone, but I check some profiles of my friends with whom I keep in touch. They don't have a thread open, but I'm 100% sure they are DMing. Which is fine. Except, when I openly told him why I felt ignored even before he actually ignored me, he ridiculed me for stalking him, changing the topic entirely. I asked him openly - because I refuse to have this thought cultivate in my mind now that I am at a very low point after this bs - whether he was writing smut with her. His response was shady enough, basically something along the lines of "Even if I would, it would be on the forum, so you would see it". No, it doesn't have to be on the forum. He has a history of doing it via DMs. I know I should be respectful and trustful, but I am just... So done and tired after receiving that "I'm going to ignore you because you pissed me off" treatment while he was happily talking to another girl he just met and I was sick to the stomach, two days passing by in some sort of a trance.
Things are "fine" now, because I've bent so hard my spine almost broke. Do I feel better that he's talking to me again? Not at all. If anything, I feel the same amount of sick that I did before. I just can't understand how someone who claims to have feelings for another person would put them through the "ignore treatment" and even after they came begging, have them beg some more. He never said he was sorry for doing this to me, I was the only one saying I was sorry. I asked him when was he going to talk to me if I didn't come crawling, but of course, no answer and a warped change of topic.
I feel broken.
Someone slap me and tell me to get a hold of myself. Thanks.
Comment