My SO is hurt and I am far. How can I help.

[Hails]

Hey!

I'm new to the forums so hi. I've been involved in a LDR for a few months and mostly it's honestly just the best.

At first we said we would just be friends because with no end in sight initially we thought it might be too hard but honestly we were strange friends and it's definitely not there anymore.

I have never felt so loved (action not feeling) by anyone and I love her so much I just. It's a gift. I trust her more than anyone before and as I get to know her my trust and love and excitement to be with her grows. So we don't have the classical issues of a relationship.

But she's hurt. She had a car accident not long before we met and had a fractured vertebrae. Sometimes she's ok but sometimes she's in immense pain. She has a very physical job and by nature of being in the states there's not much she can do about it. Not that she would. She's also a former athlete and being strong is important to her. Not being able to move some days is like hell to her. Some times it's so bad I ask if I can help and she says just smother me (she's not serious but I know from past experience how intense pain can be unbearable).

I make myself available to her. I'm there to support and encourage her. Give her pep talks when she has self doubts and send her animal gifs etc etc.

BUT it kills me I can't be close to her. I sent her a package full of pamper stuff and stuff that is comforting for the injured before but USPS likes to mess up p much all her mail and it never arrived.

I just want to fly out there right now and hold her, cook her dinner and tell her it's ok but I can't. Even in my holidays because she's working and studying all the time she doesn't want me to come because she won't be able to commit enough quality time to me. (we have loose plans for a reunion but in summer when we are both free which is at least 9 months away).

What can I do. How can I better support her in this time?

I just want to make things easier for her. As much as I can. If I could fix all her struggles I could but I can't.


TL;DR My SO has a serious injury that causes her massive pain and stops her from doing stuff she loves. I can't be there physically and want a million ideas for what I CAN do so I can make things just a bit better for her.

Her pain is my pain,

Hails

[hmrambling]

USPS is notorious for messing up deliveries. I deal with this on a regular basis at work. If you want to send something, you can go to Amazon.com and they can send something to her as a gift. I've done this (well the opposite of this by going to the UK site of Amazon and sending an item to a friend in UK by using the Amazon site for UK.) You can avoid paying shipping charges from the UK to the US by using Amazon to ship stuff, and then you won't be relying on the USPS.

Perhaps reassuring her that you are there is really the one thing that you can do, though, to let her know that you are there for her through the miles.

[erwin1973]

I know it is hard, very hard, to not physically be there with and for her, but I think you do most amazingly well. You are understanding, let her rant and understand it's not directed to you. You don't give up on her because she's going through hell (if I may use that word, if not, I apologize). Like HM says, you are doing all you can and I think you are doing great.