What should I do

[Charm101]

Hi,

I've been in a long distance relationship for a long time now and some time last year we went through a rough patch where my boyfriend would get really sad about the distance. It was hard to close the distance as we were not ready to get married which is the only way we would ever live together because of citizenship issues. This year he said that we need to accept that things are not working in our favor and we can't stress about our situation anymore. He says that he still has feelings for me and that he still cares but he cannot limit himself because of me anymore and that I also need to grow as an individual. I tried to pull away but we still talk. I feel like I cant just cut contact and it seems like I keep hurting myself because he hangs out with another girl a lot but he says that she is just a friend. I dont know if to just let go and leave him alone or if I should stay. I fear that if I stop talking to him there may never be a second chance but I also feel that if I stay I'm just allowing him to be comfortable with me being around while he does whatever he wants and moves on.

[hmrambling]

If he has moved on, then you are hurting yourself by staying in the situation. It may very well be in your best interests to cut contact with him. Is the 6/1/12 date correct? Have you guys been together since 2012? If so, I am very sorry to hear that you are going through this after all these years.

[Charm101]

Yup 2012.

[MariaEx]

I believe that when and if he wants to give you, as a couple, a second chance he will find a way, whether you talk with him or not. If there is a will, there is a way. So, maybe you should stop all communication and start doing what he asked you, grow as an individual.And you should distance yourself in order to avoid any future heartache from seeing him with another girl (If that's the case with his friend). You have a broken heart and you are afraid of the unknown and a life without him but it will heal and you will be alright, I assure you

[Charm101]

That is true but it's so hard to remember that when you're so caught up in all those emotions.

[erwin1973]

That is true but it's so hard to remember that when you're so caught up in all those emotions.

That is true, and therefore it has been wise of you to ask some advice. We here are not caught up in those emotions and therefore are more able to see the facts.

No matter how hard it is, after all those years, I believe that the posters above are right. You can't make a relationship work on your own. That is never going to work. It's very sad, but I guess you have to let him go. Cry over it, get over it, and then move on. You're young, you'll find someone else when the time comes.

Be strong.