Should I stay waiting? Would anyone else in this situation?
Wow, two new posts right after I signed up, niiice!
So, this is a tough situation to talk about, that literally no one else I know personally has experienced. Here's a little bit of details.
(For reference, I'll call him JD, short for James Dean. He reminds me quite like a modern version of him.)
My special guy (21) and I have been together since a few days after my 18th birthday, which was in late June. We had been friends dating back to when I was 15 (wow, a baby), and dated for a number of months during that year. I felt like our relationship at the time wasn't going anywhere, so I ended it during that time. After a few months of just being apart to process it and grow, we started contacting each other again and became best friends.
In the next few years, I dated a number of other people. I was younger, just discovering myself and my sexuality, all that. I know it was the same for him, as well. We still remained close, and supportive of each other. There was always this underlaying weird spark between us, though. Definitely some lingering feelings, some sexual tension. We never really acted on it though, but I do remember a number of my more insecure boyfriends during those years were threatened to some degree by him.
I suppose in hindsight I can see why, we were /always/ talking and have always had so much in common. Our bond was unbreakable and just..it is so hard to explain. But I do believe that there are just some people (platonic or romantic wise) that you are 'meant' to meet and have in your life.
So I felt that it was like that.
In my senior year, I was in a severely abusive relationship. It got to the point where he threatened many terrible things such as forcing sexual acts on me that I was very much clear to not liking AND threats of suicide if I tried to leave. Which I had tried to do a few times, but never had the courage to do so. Finally when I had evidence (photographic and videos) of him cheating on me, I left him.
I was left with my long time friend/ex lover, and well. JD was there for me quite a lot. He had been there for me during severely traumatic times of my life when my abusive ex hadn't been , so he was pretty protective of me. He was this warm and calming figure in my chaotic teenage years. I suppose it was pretty much suspected by everyone else around that we would end up together. It took me a few months, of just being in this state of depression and trying to recover from the trauma I experienced in my past relationship.
JD remained ever so patient and kind, giving me nurturing and love, making me feel secure. We both admitted to each other for still having feelings. So after awhile, we pursued a relationship with each other again. This time, we wanted to do it right.
We spent the next few years just being absolutely in love with each other. Never ending passion, cherishing each other. But also being comfortable with the other to just be totally chill. I absolutely do adore this man. He's even been calling me his wife and spouse, and has made it clear for years that he wants to marry me. The only thing he has waited on is being able to see me in person to pop the question, I suppose. His friends even bugged him for talking about me so much around them.
Both of us have always been rather short on money, both of us having to support abusive households and not having much room to save up much money. The past few times we tried to make plans to meet in person, some sort of freak accident has occurred.
Family deaths, unexpected accident that cost most of the money saved, things like that.
Last summer, I had a particularly traumatic incident. I ended up being drugged at a Canada day celebration, and well. I really don't want to get into it, but I barely escaped with my life intact. My phone was destroyed, on purpose by other guys..
I was a shell of who I had been. I had no way to contact JD, since I had no laptop or other way to access internet. Besides that, I had been just..traumatized, in shock. I didn't leave the house for months. I was ashamed, guilty. I felt like I had cheated on JD, even if it wasn't my own consent. I had to work to get a new phone, and finally had an opportunity to get one. I didn't realize how long it had been, from the end of July to Mid November, we hadn't talked to each other..
I didn't think he would of waited, or wanted me. It seemed just, too much for even him to have handled. And I was trying to prepare myself for what was going to have happened when i finally attempted to message him on Kik.
To my shock, he wasn't mad. He had been waiting. There had been whole logs of messages I got at once, that he had been sending since I was gone. He had missed me. We were quick to just, reunite and be happy once more. Of course I have still been trying to heal and he has been just as caring and nurturing to me. It was just pure love again.
Fast forward to this summer.
We had been still in the same state of adoration towards each other. The same light teasing from friends, sleeping on skype or Discord every night. Video calls a few times a week, constant pictures and selfies sent to each other. Small gifts given to each other now and then. Binging lame shows or movies together on voice call. I'm sure some can relate to this.
As of July 21st now, it was the last time I heard from JD. No word. No hint besides him having to be at the hospital with his friend to be support. Just vanished.
It's been months, upon months. I still try to be optimistic, but its been difficult. Our lives didn't revolve around the other in an unhealthy way, but we still had good communication..
I've tried reaching out to his friends, anyone who might know where he is. I've been considering trying to save a couple hundred just to fly down and see him. it would be difficult but, I could at least try and look for him myself. I just want to know he's okay.
I miss JD, so so much. My friends get tired of me bringing it up now and then, none of them have had LDRs before, so..its hard for them to connect. I've been worried about him.
I don't know what to do. He waited for me, I want to do the same for him. But It's so hard, I can't get him out of my head.
I need advice, anything. Please, please. </3
So, this is a tough situation to talk about, that literally no one else I know personally has experienced. Here's a little bit of details.
(For reference, I'll call him JD, short for James Dean. He reminds me quite like a modern version of him.)
My special guy (21) and I have been together since a few days after my 18th birthday, which was in late June. We had been friends dating back to when I was 15 (wow, a baby), and dated for a number of months during that year. I felt like our relationship at the time wasn't going anywhere, so I ended it during that time. After a few months of just being apart to process it and grow, we started contacting each other again and became best friends.
In the next few years, I dated a number of other people. I was younger, just discovering myself and my sexuality, all that. I know it was the same for him, as well. We still remained close, and supportive of each other. There was always this underlaying weird spark between us, though. Definitely some lingering feelings, some sexual tension. We never really acted on it though, but I do remember a number of my more insecure boyfriends during those years were threatened to some degree by him.
I suppose in hindsight I can see why, we were /always/ talking and have always had so much in common. Our bond was unbreakable and just..it is so hard to explain. But I do believe that there are just some people (platonic or romantic wise) that you are 'meant' to meet and have in your life.
So I felt that it was like that.
In my senior year, I was in a severely abusive relationship. It got to the point where he threatened many terrible things such as forcing sexual acts on me that I was very much clear to not liking AND threats of suicide if I tried to leave. Which I had tried to do a few times, but never had the courage to do so. Finally when I had evidence (photographic and videos) of him cheating on me, I left him.
I was left with my long time friend/ex lover, and well. JD was there for me quite a lot. He had been there for me during severely traumatic times of my life when my abusive ex hadn't been , so he was pretty protective of me. He was this warm and calming figure in my chaotic teenage years. I suppose it was pretty much suspected by everyone else around that we would end up together. It took me a few months, of just being in this state of depression and trying to recover from the trauma I experienced in my past relationship.
JD remained ever so patient and kind, giving me nurturing and love, making me feel secure. We both admitted to each other for still having feelings. So after awhile, we pursued a relationship with each other again. This time, we wanted to do it right.
We spent the next few years just being absolutely in love with each other. Never ending passion, cherishing each other. But also being comfortable with the other to just be totally chill. I absolutely do adore this man. He's even been calling me his wife and spouse, and has made it clear for years that he wants to marry me. The only thing he has waited on is being able to see me in person to pop the question, I suppose. His friends even bugged him for talking about me so much around them.
Both of us have always been rather short on money, both of us having to support abusive households and not having much room to save up much money. The past few times we tried to make plans to meet in person, some sort of freak accident has occurred.
Family deaths, unexpected accident that cost most of the money saved, things like that.
Last summer, I had a particularly traumatic incident. I ended up being drugged at a Canada day celebration, and well. I really don't want to get into it, but I barely escaped with my life intact. My phone was destroyed, on purpose by other guys..
I was a shell of who I had been. I had no way to contact JD, since I had no laptop or other way to access internet. Besides that, I had been just..traumatized, in shock. I didn't leave the house for months. I was ashamed, guilty. I felt like I had cheated on JD, even if it wasn't my own consent. I had to work to get a new phone, and finally had an opportunity to get one. I didn't realize how long it had been, from the end of July to Mid November, we hadn't talked to each other..
I didn't think he would of waited, or wanted me. It seemed just, too much for even him to have handled. And I was trying to prepare myself for what was going to have happened when i finally attempted to message him on Kik.
To my shock, he wasn't mad. He had been waiting. There had been whole logs of messages I got at once, that he had been sending since I was gone. He had missed me. We were quick to just, reunite and be happy once more. Of course I have still been trying to heal and he has been just as caring and nurturing to me. It was just pure love again.
Fast forward to this summer.
We had been still in the same state of adoration towards each other. The same light teasing from friends, sleeping on skype or Discord every night. Video calls a few times a week, constant pictures and selfies sent to each other. Small gifts given to each other now and then. Binging lame shows or movies together on voice call. I'm sure some can relate to this.
As of July 21st now, it was the last time I heard from JD. No word. No hint besides him having to be at the hospital with his friend to be support. Just vanished.
It's been months, upon months. I still try to be optimistic, but its been difficult. Our lives didn't revolve around the other in an unhealthy way, but we still had good communication..
I've tried reaching out to his friends, anyone who might know where he is. I've been considering trying to save a couple hundred just to fly down and see him. it would be difficult but, I could at least try and look for him myself. I just want to know he's okay.
I miss JD, so so much. My friends get tired of me bringing it up now and then, none of them have had LDRs before, so..its hard for them to connect. I've been worried about him.
I don't know what to do. He waited for me, I want to do the same for him. But It's so hard, I can't get him out of my head.
I need advice, anything. Please, please. </3
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