Hello! And struggling with my LDR

[Ackack]

Hello everyone thanks in advance for listening...

I have a very recent problem that is starting to take over my life and I'm afraid I'll do or say something that will upset my gf and it ends horribly.
I was single for 8 years prior to talking/meeting her and I didn't really have an interest in other women and I really was happy with my lot, then one day she came into my life
and just blew me away and it wasn't long before we met and that went so well it was a wrench to leave. I'm actually going to see her again in a few days and since xmas it has been a
terrible strain on me, I think the combination of xmas and my birthday (early Jan) got me down and I just felt a bit lonely. We have tried to have a common interest with online video games and that ends badly most of the time and due to the time difference she plays when I'm in bed and I know she has a few friends she plays with but this one particular person just triggers me and I handle it wrong every time.
I have no doubt she is faithful, she's loyal she's clever and funny and I just miss her so much and she tells me the same but I just can't get my head around that she keeps her mind off me
by playing with another man online (he obviously fancies her and is trying to woo her slowly) She did spot that he was coming on to her and she put a stop to any chance of romanticism after a while.
When I see her in a few days we are having a belated xmas and my birthday and she really does spoil me and I know how lucky I am, and I even have a job interview when I go out there through my company and although I am nervous about that, I can't pinpoint why I'm behaving the way I am. So I'm appealing to all you veterans and experts in telling me what I'm doing wrong and how to stop being insecure and unhappy.
I am 44 years old and I've never loved anyone like I have her and she does complete me and I really need to sort myself out before it's too late.

Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

Ackack

[erwin1973]

To me, it looks like it is all in your own head. You're jealous and you don't trust her. No no, don't say you're not and you do. Because if you weren't and did, you wouldn't have all this troubles. Again, it's in your head. She does everything to keep her life going when she can't chat with you - and she should, just like you have to and like we all do. She stopped that guy from approaching, and you can't forbid her to play. So you just have to stop worrying and get hold of yourself. Start trusting her. You say you know she's loyal, but still you worry. That doesn't add up, sounds like your mind is making overtime. Eventually, that will get in between you. You don't want that, I guess.

If it really worries you she's playing online games with her, did you talk about that with her, how it makes you feel? As long as you keep the conversation non-accusive and only tells her how you feel, she should understand. But again, you can't make her stop doing that. As long as she trusts herself, you have to trust her, too. I know it's difficult...

Sorry if I sound blunt, I don't mean to.

Be strong.

[Ackack]

Hi thanks for the reply.
You're totally right it's in my head, and I'm not denying that. This whole scenario was triggered by something an ex did to me many years ago.
And you're totally right, we have chatted since i posted and she's talked me off the cliff and she's given me some great advice and my head is better.
This site has helped me a lot today looking at other posts so I'm grateful I've found this place.

[erwin1973]

I am really happy to hear that.

Yeah, our history - our package - can sometimes hold things we don't want. I know all about it. If there is anything I have learned on this site (and I did) it is to talk to my lady first about any issue I have, and solve it together.

Remember that communication is all we have in an LDR. Now you see how supportive she is towards you (I guess you already knew that), she shows how much she cares. That should do you a lot of good, I suppose.

Again I am sorry if I sounded blunt in my first reply, that was not my intention.

[Ackack]

Honestly blunt is good in these situations. It does no good sugar coating things.
It was my first big blip in 8 months of 'dating' and you're right communication is the key here.
Thanks for the kind words.