I feel that right now I am in need of some help...

[erwin1973]

Due to some great advice, I deleted the question and closed the thread. Thanks all for reading. I feel good now.

[Elzah]

Hi Erwin,
I don't have as much as experience as you have about relationships, but since you've been very helpful to me, and to many many people on this website, I'm going to try to help you.

First of all, I'm sorry about everything you're going through lately, it's tough and I wish everything gets better as soon as possible.

About your lady, I do understand your doubts. Distance is tough and as soon as something is changing (less chats, acting a bit distant, less sweet words), we panic and start imagining the worst. But you guys, apparently communicate a lot, and if she tells you she loves you and that nothing has changed about that, I think you should trust her, you are both adults and mature and I don't see any reasons why she would lie to you repeatidly.
You are both going through a hard time and have your own problems, it affects both of you, and thus, it has some repercussions on your mood and the time you spend together, I don't think this is related to the feelings you have for each other.

In my opinion, you should try to vent at her everything that's going on in your mind about your relationship, if you haven't already done it yet : your doubts, your fears, the fact you miss this or that, your need for her to really talk to you and not only reply "ok" because it worries you, etc... Make her understand that you need to be reassured, and remind her that you're here for her too.
I think your life is already way too stressful at the moment, and you don't need to add any other stress related to your relationship, so it's why you need to be reassured about it, and no one can do it better than her.

I hope it helped you

[erwin1973]

It's always different when it is happening to yourself, then when it is happening to someone else, right?

Yeah. May be she just worries a lot about me and closes down. I know she closes down when things don't go as she wants, while I open up. That is about the only thing we are really different in.

She knows I am here for her always. I often even told her she can even wake me up when needed. Reading your reply, actually that is what I knew... it just helps to hear it from someone else.

What really doesn't help me - and that is nobody's fault - is when there is slow connection. Sometimes there is as much as 7 minutes between me sending a reply and her receiving it. Can't handle that when I'm down... Makes her edgy, too...

Thank you for your reply.