Hi, Im new here and wanted to share my story so far (in condensed form) to get some advice.
I came to the US for a year on a work related program, 4/5 months before having to leave and return to my home country, I met a guy. I wasnt looking for anything or have any expectations, either did he. We ht it off, every time we see each other we have a great time, no complaints, we were going out to dinner, sports games, bars, sometimes he'd stay over, sometimes not. It was great. Due to his anxiety issues, he isnt ready for a relationship or anything serious, and that was fine because I had to leave the US (although my goal is to return for much longer - currently working this out through the comapny i work for). However, towards the time when I had to come away from the US (a week ago) we spent a bit more time together (due to me leaving) which was great. He is a slow burner.. taking 4 months to hold my hand lol (this is him being careful about his anxiety, its relationship based). I think in my head i thought that id get on my flight and that would be it over. However, he kept asking how we'd stay in touch, was it expensive to text etc. We now have Skype and text through that since ive been gone. The day I left was emotional (i saw him the night before) and we had long texts about why he has anxiety etc, and I find we have been through the same sort of stuff, so i understand whee he is coming from). I texted him when i landed to make sure the skype thing worked and since then we have communicated each day. I miss having him around and being able to see and talk to him (we are gonna video call) and he said the same. Although before I left he said he wasnt ready for a relationship, I acted a bit not-fussed and he said he loves seeing me, loves having me around and it didnt mean he wanted that to change.
It seems since ive gone that he does miss me. Im flying out for a week in 2 weeks time (so 3 weeks since ive seen him) and we will see each other (im not staying with him though, we both like our independence, and his anxiety is less when he has a place to be on his own).
What am I doing? All i know is that we always get on great, like nothing before, and I miss him. This feels totally different to previous guys. I know he's not ready for a relationshp, but during the 5 months we went out, slept together, did everything that would constitute a relationship. He says he starts feeling and then he is scared it takes him back to his dark place (due to previous relationship stuff) and then he would have to start work on himself from the beginning again. I guess if we had known each other longer he would see that because Ive been where he is (mentally), i understand. Id fight this with him (and ive said so).
Help, Ive been in my country a week and I feel I am all over the place. Not sure I should think about stuff or just enjoy the good times? Or does this need some sort of commitment if we want to keep seeing each other eevry 3-4 weeks? My goal is to get back out there ASAP job wise. (sorry, i think my post jumps around a lot, a bit like my thoughts
I came to the US for a year on a work related program, 4/5 months before having to leave and return to my home country, I met a guy. I wasnt looking for anything or have any expectations, either did he. We ht it off, every time we see each other we have a great time, no complaints, we were going out to dinner, sports games, bars, sometimes he'd stay over, sometimes not. It was great. Due to his anxiety issues, he isnt ready for a relationship or anything serious, and that was fine because I had to leave the US (although my goal is to return for much longer - currently working this out through the comapny i work for). However, towards the time when I had to come away from the US (a week ago) we spent a bit more time together (due to me leaving) which was great. He is a slow burner.. taking 4 months to hold my hand lol (this is him being careful about his anxiety, its relationship based). I think in my head i thought that id get on my flight and that would be it over. However, he kept asking how we'd stay in touch, was it expensive to text etc. We now have Skype and text through that since ive been gone. The day I left was emotional (i saw him the night before) and we had long texts about why he has anxiety etc, and I find we have been through the same sort of stuff, so i understand whee he is coming from). I texted him when i landed to make sure the skype thing worked and since then we have communicated each day. I miss having him around and being able to see and talk to him (we are gonna video call) and he said the same. Although before I left he said he wasnt ready for a relationship, I acted a bit not-fussed and he said he loves seeing me, loves having me around and it didnt mean he wanted that to change.
It seems since ive gone that he does miss me. Im flying out for a week in 2 weeks time (so 3 weeks since ive seen him) and we will see each other (im not staying with him though, we both like our independence, and his anxiety is less when he has a place to be on his own).
What am I doing? All i know is that we always get on great, like nothing before, and I miss him. This feels totally different to previous guys. I know he's not ready for a relationshp, but during the 5 months we went out, slept together, did everything that would constitute a relationship. He says he starts feeling and then he is scared it takes him back to his dark place (due to previous relationship stuff) and then he would have to start work on himself from the beginning again. I guess if we had known each other longer he would see that because Ive been where he is (mentally), i understand. Id fight this with him (and ive said so).
Help, Ive been in my country a week and I feel I am all over the place. Not sure I should think about stuff or just enjoy the good times? Or does this need some sort of commitment if we want to keep seeing each other eevry 3-4 weeks? My goal is to get back out there ASAP job wise. (sorry, i think my post jumps around a lot, a bit like my thoughts
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