How do you balance your physical life with your LDR? Especially when visits are very spaced out?
We don't know when a visit will happen, and I'm surprisingly fine with that, though I do wonder how it will be the longer our time apart goes for. We dated physically for 4 months so we have a little bit of foundation.
I'm struggling to balance my life with the idea that I could be uprooting in a year or 2 to move across the world to him. I just took a new job, and while I'm elated at the income, I also felt kind of like a fraud when the "where do you see yourself in 5 years" question came up at the interview. Instead of being excited about the job, I felt like I was being "locked in." I'm looking at apartments and having a lot of anxiety about signing a lease because again, that solidifies that it's gonna be a set chunk of time before I can move. It just is hard for me to swallow.
I made a mistake in my last LDR, where I basically lived as if I was about to leave my country for him, which ended up taking a year and a half. I didn't build as deep friendships, knowing that I would be leaving anyway, and became a bit of an avoidant loner. I also didn't work as hard at my job or career as my focus was mainly on leaving ASAP. I remember standing in a garden store, debating whether to buy a plant in case I moved in a year.
This time around, I'm almost 30, and I have promised myself to commit to whatever job/life I have here and try to really build a life and be present in it, so that should things not work out with him, I'm not full of regret at not taking that job offer, not staying in better touch with that new friend, etc. I'm trying to not focus too much on the giant question mark and trust that opportunities will come up as long as we keep our eyes open for them, and if they don't, then oh well, we tried.
I'm wary though, of going in the total opposite direction this time, and putting down too many roots so that I really resent leaving it all behind when/if the time comes.
Does this resonate with anyone else? How do you guys reconcile building a life where you are, with the idea that you might be uprooting the the future? How does this affect you?
We don't know when a visit will happen, and I'm surprisingly fine with that, though I do wonder how it will be the longer our time apart goes for. We dated physically for 4 months so we have a little bit of foundation.
I'm struggling to balance my life with the idea that I could be uprooting in a year or 2 to move across the world to him. I just took a new job, and while I'm elated at the income, I also felt kind of like a fraud when the "where do you see yourself in 5 years" question came up at the interview. Instead of being excited about the job, I felt like I was being "locked in." I'm looking at apartments and having a lot of anxiety about signing a lease because again, that solidifies that it's gonna be a set chunk of time before I can move. It just is hard for me to swallow.
I made a mistake in my last LDR, where I basically lived as if I was about to leave my country for him, which ended up taking a year and a half. I didn't build as deep friendships, knowing that I would be leaving anyway, and became a bit of an avoidant loner. I also didn't work as hard at my job or career as my focus was mainly on leaving ASAP. I remember standing in a garden store, debating whether to buy a plant in case I moved in a year.
This time around, I'm almost 30, and I have promised myself to commit to whatever job/life I have here and try to really build a life and be present in it, so that should things not work out with him, I'm not full of regret at not taking that job offer, not staying in better touch with that new friend, etc. I'm trying to not focus too much on the giant question mark and trust that opportunities will come up as long as we keep our eyes open for them, and if they don't, then oh well, we tried.
I'm wary though, of going in the total opposite direction this time, and putting down too many roots so that I really resent leaving it all behind when/if the time comes.
Does this resonate with anyone else? How do you guys reconcile building a life where you are, with the idea that you might be uprooting the the future? How does this affect you?
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