Whats next after doing long distance?

[Papijaja]

Hello Everyone!

My girlfriend and I have been together for a few months shes a nurse and I deal with real estate. She had to go back to Norway to her family and her job while im in Kenya at my Job. We're handling long distance pretty well but the thought of 'the next step' is constantly on our minds. Because we live in 2 different countries we need to find some middle ground on where we can continue our life together. Its still early to plan that far into our future but we are both trying our hardest to
find a solution and be together.

We are making trips to see each other 2-4 times a year but what then? Can we move somewhere new and continue our life together or what? what can we do? In cases like this what happens?

Let me know what you think

[kittyo9]

Usually one person moves to the other person's country, and you get married. The order depends on the visa requirements. Getting the proper visa obviously requires a lot of work and forethought, so it's important to do your research beforehand. This might mean separate work and residence visas, or some sort of temporary visa that turns into a permanent visa, or just going straight for a permanent visa. It might require getting married, or it might require finding work in the other's country-- again, depends on the visa requirements.

Deciding who will move is a big, big decision and should be given a lot of thought. Usually the person who is more flexible in their work and family arrangement is the one who moves, but sometimes it also depends on how easy it is to get the proper visa to move.

[Papijaja]

Thank you Kitty!

The thing is her work is alot more flexible than mine but its Illegal for us to get married in Kenya but its legal in Norway.
She plans on staying in norway for another year then wants to come to Kenya for some time. Ideally she wanted us both to move somewhere and settle down even if its not in norway or kenya. I feel very lost when it comes to the next step but i know shes the one I want to be with. I guess we need to find some middle ground. My kenyan citizenship allows dual citizenship but hers doesn't. That's the other thing. so its kinda alot to figure out :/

I wish there was a simpler way of dealing with this.

[kittyo9]

A third country is an option in some cases, but not always, as it means that both of you have to be able to move.

You can get married on a visit to Norway and then deal with moving (to wherever) afterwards.

You've got time. I know it feels like you want to close the distance right away, but your relationship is relatively new and you're relatively young, so do take your time to really understand the legal implications of what you want to do.

And I hear you! I wish it were easier here, as well. There are upsides and downsides to moving in either direction for me and my SO, and we only settled on me coming to Canada because it was easier to get a visa and probably to find a job there, since his qualifications are mostly tied to his geographic area. There are still things I'll be giving up by leaving, including things that would benefit us as a couple. It's unfortunate that we get stuck in situations like this.

[Redheart14]

Kitty gave some great advice here. Moving is a big thing and not something to be taken lightly or rushed into. Make sure you're both on the same page abput who is willing to move.

[TaraMarie]

Thank you Kitty!

The thing is her work is alot more flexible than mine but its Illegal for us to get married in Kenya but its legal in Norway.
She plans on staying in norway for another year then wants to come to Kenya for some time. Ideally she wanted us both to move somewhere and settle down even if its not in norway or kenya. I feel very lost when it comes to the next step but i know shes the one I want to be with. I guess we need to find some middle ground. My kenyan citizenship allows dual citizenship but hers doesn't. That's the other thing. so its kinda alot to figure out :/

I wish there was a simpler way of dealing with this.

Why is it illegal to get married in Kenya?

[Papijaja]

Its Illegal for gay couples to get married in Kenya.
The law is very much against it at this point, so its pretty hard.

[Papijaja]

Why is it illegal to get married in Kenya?

Its Illegal for gay couples to get married in Kenya.
The law is very much against it at this point, so its pretty hard

[Papijaja]

A third country is an option in some cases, but not always, as it means that both of you have to be able to move.

You can get married on a visit to Norway and then deal with moving (to wherever) afterwards.

You've got time. I know it feels like you want to close the distance right away, but your relationship is relatively new and you're relatively young, so do take your time to really understand the legal implications of what you want to do.

And I hear you! I wish it were easier here, as well. There are upsides and downsides to moving in either direction for me and my SO, and we only settled on me coming to Canada because it was easier to get a visa and probably to find a job there, since his qualifications are mostly tied to his geographic area. There are still things I'll be giving up by leaving, including things that would benefit us as a couple. It's unfortunate that we get stuck in situations like this.

Thank you Kitty and I agree with you it is a relatively new relationship but sometimes you just know.
It will take alot of thinking and planning and that goal is still far away but we will definitely work together on it.
Thanks again xx

[Rezie]

The next step depends on the couple. Some want to be in LDR forever, some move to others home country, some pick a third location. Some even change between the countries every 5 years. It all depends wha you think is best for you.

It hasn't been long so I think both of you should think about your limitaions. How much compromising are you willing to make. Where are you willing to move etc. this helps when you are at the point of discussing the future realistically to see if you are on the same page.