The Distance Gets Harder, Advice Needed!

[Levathian08]

First time posting on this and I just made an account because I really need some help.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a good 7-8 months. It’s not easy being in a long distance relationship, him and I have been through hell and back. From arguing and not talking to having our honeymoon moments. But lately he’s been so glum and dead when he speaks to me. He says it’s because he’d rather see me and it upsets him that he can’t have his best friend (me) around when he needs it.
His actions don’t really add up to his answer though, he’s constantly on the phone with his friends, some also long distance. But he sounds so alive and happy, I can’t help but think I’m dragging him down. His answer for this is that my conversation is bland and boring, he’s rather talking about theories and something exciting.
But for the last week that’s almost all I’ve tried to talk about along with politics or even throw in some things about Marvel and comics. He says I’m just simply bland.
It feels like I can’t do anything to make him satisfied, I talk about everything but all he can say is “yuuup” or “cool”
I feel like I’m giving 110% but he’s giving me 30% on a good day.
If anyone is struggling with a fire going out in their relationship then please give me some advice!

[paperplane]

I'm struggling with similar except I'm finding his conversation boring!

I think it's just hard to keep conversation interesting all the time. It might help to try to do activities together - like play a game or watch a movie together, to take some of the pressure off trying to keep the conversation flowing.

He shouldn't be making you feel like you're dragging him down. I think calling your conversation boring was uncalled for and a really low effort response. You're doing what you can. He could be more of an active listener and also participate in the conversation himself! If he's only giving half assed responses how does he expect you to keep the conversation interesting!?

When can you guys schedule a visit?

In the meantime, try not to take his words personally. You're giving what you can. If he doesn't start making more of an effort he's gonna have to reckon with losing you, because long distance or not, a relationship takes 2 people making an effort, not one.

[RWhiz]

Do you have a date when you guys are going to get together? It's very difficult to have a relationship lingering in purgatory without a plan.

[RishiJoy]

Long distance is all about communication. In person, you'd know what the other person feels as you could look at them. Here, that's not the case. So, if you feel like he's losing interest of not giving his 100%, it's better that you talk to him about that rather than keep it to yourself and worry. My girlfriend and I are from completely different cultures. That causes a lot of issues as we see everything differently and treat each other in different ways. But we talk about those issues everyday. Sometimes it's hard to say everything in chat or over phone. We write emails then. I never let her go to bed feeling sad or worried, and vice versa. Talk to him openly about how you feel. That's the safest best as you could avoid any misunderstanding that shall arise when you try to work on the issues yourself.

[libertine]

The obvious answer is talk to him about you feel i guess.
From my own experience I can say that I freaked out often about my GF not communicating in a similar fashion at times(even tough I knew the reasons for it which had nothing to do with me) but
at the end of the day it always cleared up. I think what holds people back sometimes is just the feeling that their SO will not take them seriously or disregard them. Well, you still need to talk and if your SO
considers the way you feel neglectable then theres the door. If you're not communicating in a manner that satisfies you I think LD cannot work in the long run.
Sure, sometimes there slow periods in commuincation, people are busy, in a bad mood, have something else on their mind etc.etc. That's one thing that you'll need to live with but if its constant
then just talk about it.