Depressed and needing advice please :'(
Hello everyone, So, let me tell you my story, I have a girlfriend from Israel I met two months ago and shes 17, and I am from Philippines and Iam 18 and I will move to the United states in a few months i think, so! ^^ we met in an app called skout, and we have been together for 2 months so yeah, we are so comfortable with each other the time we met and words just came out of our minds like we have been together for a very long time and it is very overwhelming and really beautiful, we mailed at each other sometimes , i sent her a letter too which she recieved with a ring on it, and she is really happy and inlove too, and for both of us we have never been so inlove like this, we can feel this intense emotion that its like neverending love and like both of us are willing to do anything just to be together, and i plan to meet her on June next year, But the problem is this.. let me explain carefully..
*First - her mother is kind of not approving us cause she wanted a guy that she has met in real life or basically a guy that she has seen and talked to.. So basically all i need to do is to get there and prove myself BUT we are currently trying to please her mom because she doesnt want her to talk to me, and honestly she is kind of hard to please and we cant video call or voice call and in order to do those we have to hide :'( and it happens rarely,so we always text and its really hard as she is a busy person so if only we couldve called, we can make it easier , and our texting times varies as i dont do many things and activities so whenever she can text me i respond as fast as i can to make up our conversation and have time for each other.. It is also not that easy to save money as i am still here in Philippines and also saving money that i can, even though its a little and I dont work yet, I only save money that i can get from school and little activities and such,thats why I really cant wait to go to U.S and work because it'll be easy to save there and right now I wish my visa would go even more faster so i can quickly save and get to her
And this is where the second problem goes
*second - As i wait and wish that i could already go to her and just fly there right now i wouldve done it.. I'll literally do anything just to be with her and the problem is I cant do anything but to save little by little until i get to U.S... and rn im crying while writing this as the second problem right now is that I miss her.. I always miss her so badly and we cant call nor vid call nor anything as she is a bit of a busy person and the time shes mostly free is when shes at home :'( And thats why we cant call cause she cant go out at her night time and she has a bit of procrastinating habits so we dont really call as much and its really hard for me to deal with my own feelings and try to fight myself trying not to miss her and as from you know I live in Philippines and there is really not that much activities to do , even taking walks are hard to do cause of the streets are likely crowded with vehicles and views arent really that nice in my place and i have to travel and spend money just to see a cool view and take my time.. And its been really hard these past few days as everyday feels like years without her by my side,.. I may sound crazy but its real.. the pain of this empty cold 4 sided room and the daily loop feels neverending and i miss her.. whenever we talk i feel home and i feel at rest and i feel happy, I have never been so happy in my life whenever shes talking with me.. And i miss her so bad that I mostly cry, I told my dad about my plans visiting her next year and they are disappointed, I dont know what to do anymore as i feel like everything is falling apart, and im not even sure of my plan as the Visa sometimes delays and sometimes faster and my hopes are fully and highly wishing that it goes faster.. I just need some advice cause i feel alone in this painful journey and it seems like no one understands me.. So i went here.. and have been reading posts and im looking for motivations.. An advice would really help :'( If you know any activities or stuff that I can do to past time and if you guys know an online job that i can work on to past my time or any kind of help that might make my savings go faster would be highly appreciated please tell me , Im really depressed and stressed thanks for reading my story :'(
*First - her mother is kind of not approving us cause she wanted a guy that she has met in real life or basically a guy that she has seen and talked to.. So basically all i need to do is to get there and prove myself BUT we are currently trying to please her mom because she doesnt want her to talk to me, and honestly she is kind of hard to please and we cant video call or voice call and in order to do those we have to hide :'( and it happens rarely,so we always text and its really hard as she is a busy person so if only we couldve called, we can make it easier , and our texting times varies as i dont do many things and activities so whenever she can text me i respond as fast as i can to make up our conversation and have time for each other.. It is also not that easy to save money as i am still here in Philippines and also saving money that i can, even though its a little and I dont work yet, I only save money that i can get from school and little activities and such,thats why I really cant wait to go to U.S and work because it'll be easy to save there and right now I wish my visa would go even more faster so i can quickly save and get to her
And this is where the second problem goes*second - As i wait and wish that i could already go to her and just fly there right now i wouldve done it.. I'll literally do anything just to be with her and the problem is I cant do anything but to save little by little until i get to U.S... and rn im crying while writing this as the second problem right now is that I miss her.. I always miss her so badly and we cant call nor vid call nor anything as she is a bit of a busy person and the time shes mostly free is when shes at home :'( And thats why we cant call cause she cant go out at her night time and she has a bit of procrastinating habits so we dont really call as much and its really hard for me to deal with my own feelings and try to fight myself trying not to miss her and as from you know I live in Philippines and there is really not that much activities to do , even taking walks are hard to do cause of the streets are likely crowded with vehicles and views arent really that nice in my place and i have to travel and spend money just to see a cool view and take my time.. And its been really hard these past few days as everyday feels like years without her by my side,.. I may sound crazy but its real.. the pain of this empty cold 4 sided room and the daily loop feels neverending and i miss her.. whenever we talk i feel home and i feel at rest and i feel happy, I have never been so happy in my life whenever shes talking with me.. And i miss her so bad that I mostly cry, I told my dad about my plans visiting her next year and they are disappointed, I dont know what to do anymore as i feel like everything is falling apart, and im not even sure of my plan as the Visa sometimes delays and sometimes faster and my hopes are fully and highly wishing that it goes faster.. I just need some advice cause i feel alone in this painful journey and it seems like no one understands me.. So i went here.. and have been reading posts and im looking for motivations.. An advice would really help :'( If you know any activities or stuff that I can do to past time and if you guys know an online job that i can work on to past my time or any kind of help that might make my savings go faster would be highly appreciated
please tell me , Im really depressed and stressed thanks for reading my story :'(
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