Was it a good choice to break up? I'm lost..

[nikotanra]

I broke up with my LDR boyfriend week ago and I don't know if it was good decision.. But I need to start the story from beginning.

He is from USA. I am from Europe. We were together for 8 months (6 of this months he was in Europe so we meet from time to time during weekends and everything was fine). 2 months ago he needed to go back to USA. The first month of him being in USA was ok - we talked, we made plans to meet, everything was as good as before. But suddenly month ago he slowly text me less and less. I was really frustrated about this, asked him what is going on and why he is not communicating with me as before, but he was just saying that I'm overreacting. So I decided to step back and didn't push him to contact me for a week. But nothing changed - he was texting me even less so I told him to call me to talk with me about what is going on. Because he was saying that he loves me and wants to be with me but I haven't seen it in his communication. I gave him few days to call me in his free time. But he didn't. I was calling him few times and he didn't answer or call me back.

After that few days of waiting when I saw he didn't even read my last message to him I text him (I was trying to call him but he still didn't answer his phone) that I can't be with him anymore, that it was amazing time with him but I just can't be with him like this when he doesn't even have 5 minutes to call me. I am not contacting him since that time and he didn't even read that message (or he did but he hide it on Whatsapp so I can't see that).

And now I am lost. I don't know if I really overreact and pushed him away 3 weeks ago with freaking out or it was his way of ending this relationship to just ghost me. I would love to hear any of your opinion about this situation because we really had plans together and I am also a person that sometimes is too much and overreact and I am still working on it.

[Littlewhiteflower]

Well, it sounds like he ghosted you and I would not try to contact him again if I was you. Ghosting someone is very bad and hard to take (I am a victim of it). People who do that have no heart.

This person ignored your break up message. Someone who really loved you would have reached back to you and tried to solve thing. I would try to heal and move on from now on. Try to change your mind and focus on the positive.

[Windless Mirrormere]

He probably didn't have the guts to have an adult conversation with you about breaking it off, so he decided to take the cowardly way out. No one who really loves you would ever do that to you!

[Hannah93]

Randomly I found this.
I can say I am in a very similar situation like you but I’m just at the backing off for a week but he didn’t contac me since ,I am wondering what happen with you can you give me an update how you can see yourself two years ago and what happened and if you have a good advice for me regarding ! thank you!

And I am from Europe and my “ bf” from Australia- and since Covid we didn’t see each other 😳

[Karz]

Randomly I found this.
I can say I am in a very similar situation like you but I’m just at the backing off for a week but he didn’t contac me since ,I am wondering what happen with you can you give me an update how you can see yourself two years ago and what happened and if you have a good advice for me regarding ! thank you!

And I am from Europe and my “ bf” from Australia- and since Covid we didn’t see each other 😳

So sorry to hear this. Since I don't know any details, all I can suggest is to give it some time. These are stressful times and maybe he has some things to take care of that are keeping him occupied? But if it's not that then it's just plain disrespectful of him to ghost you. And I'd say "good riddance", you would know not to waste any further second on this person.

PS- I know you were looking for specific opinion from the person who started this thread but I just felt like adding my thoughts. I hope you have the strength to get through this, if it's permanent. Hope it's not and it's just a phase.

[Hannah93]

Thank you so much for the reply.
It’s been more than a week. He texted me, with a basic phrase. We talked a bit, but he doesn’t know where we stand, what we are/if we still are a couple or not, he said it’s been difficult for him the distance.

I replied that I made a decision to move on.
We said we will discuss about it tomorrow.

But he didn’t really seem to fight for us ( he just replied with few words, and he mentioned he expected that I will end)

I am truly disappointed!
I don’t think he can say me anything to change my decision.

Greetings,
H

[megant24]

I think it was a good choice. Having healthy communication is a necessity in a relationship. If you felt like you were receiving less than what you needed, it's okay for you to end the relationship. You did what was best for you! I know you feel lost and you are hurt, but I promise you'll feel better with time. You'll realize that if he wanted to be there, he would have. You deserve someone who is gonna put their all into your relationship. Everything will be okay ! We are all here for you

[sanjay12]

I have a same situation now . She is from Siberia and I am from India.And very soon I think to consider it as Over. But we have two beautiful kids for which I allow her few months.

[uniquefem]

It is very difficult decision to take whether you need to hold on harder or just to leave. Is it worth it tho.

In LDR its different than normal relationship. It need constant reminder why, you started the relationship it self. It take a lot more effort on commitment for keeping in, including the communication. You just dont cast doubt.
Sadly for some people, they only think that the only relationship can go is with a physical presence, if its none, means its just platonic and not as important in their life.
They just don't put these kind of relationship as the real relationship.
And honestly i don't like it as well personally. I've been there before, i called it "holiday gf relationship" they only care, love, and be our bf only when we are meet for certain length of time we physically together.

Its all depends to you, what you expect in relationship. Its hard, but if you see that he is not in same level of understanding about the relationship, then its time to move on. There are people out there appreciate you and your love more.