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Dealing with a depressed gf

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    Dealing with a depressed gf

    Hi guys it's me again so after our "breakup" we have been talking everyday i was really confused about it because i was mentally and emotionally trying to accept that but i feel she regretted doing that we talked about it for a long time she already has depression and i'm well aware of that and i keep telling her i'm her for u and i can deal with that especially with what's happening to her not going to school and having to work.
    yesterday i was a watching a movie by myself and she said she's watching this movie happy anniversary on Netflix it's about a couple who have been together for 3 years and on their anniversary his gf told him she's not happy the movie deals with no being happy just for the fact of being not sure about anything and like she said it was relatable because i feel that's how our relationship is i'm the positive one and she's never sure about anything.
    it's really hard dealing with depression especially because no matter what i do it won't do anything to help it's all about the person themselves she keep saying that's why she thought about the breakup in the first place because she's in a dark place and when she's in it she just pushs people away from here idk i feel like nothing i can do we love each other and she told me that when she thinks about just deleting from her life she knows she will regretted when things get better the distance just makes everything harder
    i'm just really lost guys and i don't know what to do we don't lose each other and it's getting harder.
    any advice guys and have u ever dealt with something like this before.

    #2
    Well, I will say that I can relate to how she feels. I struggle with depression myself, and I know it can make things magnified. This happens to me about all kinds of things, as well as my LDR. I have said to SO a couple of times about giving up on us, because I sometimes feel that it would be easier for me overall if I didn't have that to deal with that on top of everything else. But for me, I have come to the realisation that the distance, time difference and physical 'hole' I feel from being apart is definitely worth it for everything else that I gain from my relationship. My SO also has depression, so often we feel low at different times, which means that we can encourage each other when one of us is low, because the other feels strong. You could say that we carry each other through the hard times.

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      #3
      In terms of advice, I would say to just be there for her. Try not to take it personally when she pushes you away, and remember it is only temporary. She is likely confused and conflicted, maybe even scared. I get scared.
      A couple of things that I do that I find helpful is to talk out loud at night, as if I am talking to SO. Even though he isn't physically there, I feel better for it. That way she can voice how she feels, be it good or bad.
      I also talk to SO's photo at times when I miss him. I find that helps me too.
      Sometimes when I feel low, just knowing SO is there, even if we are not actually talking can help. We use a webchat service, and we talk until I go to bed. I often take my laptop to bed with me, and have it on beside me until I fall asleep. SO doesn't have to say anything to me necessarily, but just knowing he is at the other side helps me.
      Is it possible for you to send parcels to one another? That would be something you can do for each other, so that you can share something physical. It would be something she could focus on that is more positive. I am compiling things to send to my SO atm. I have enjoyed looking around for things, and it will be an opportunity for me to make something special too.
      Hopefully these suggestions may be of use.
      Last edited by Atlantic Crossroads; September 11, 2018, 04:18 AM.

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