I'm new and need a bit of support

[Mimi123]

Hi everyone!
I'm new here and I just wanted to talk to fellow peeps who understand the situation I'm in. I'm supposed to be doing uni work but I got a little upset.

So I'm from the UK and my bf is from Algeria. We met on a langauge learning app almost a year ago. It was unplanned. I only went on there to learn Italian. We applied for a UK visa in the spring but it got rejected. It's been hard recently because a lot of problems has caused us not to be able to talk as much. Like first of all his internet went, then his phone broke, then he started double shifts and now he's on a work trip. All that totals to 5 months of not skyping and not being able to talk as much as we used to which is really hard.

I really want to meet him in January but I have a fear of travelling (planes mostly). I would ideally like to meet in France cause that's easiest for me. I've got my passport and I'm working to save up so hopefully we can sort something out. My family know about him (except my brother) and one of my friends know about him also. I can talk to her if I need to but I feel bad for always going on about it and I wanted to talk to people who know what it's like.

Anyway thank you for reading this and I hope you can give me words of advice or encouragement or just a chat. I don't mind Thanks again!

[Louna]

Hi everyone!
I'm new here and I just wanted to talk to fellow peeps who understand the situation I'm in. I'm supposed to be doing uni work but I got a little upset.

So I'm from the UK and my bf is from Algeria. We met on a langauge learning app almost a year ago. It was unplanned. I only went on there to learn Italian. We applied for a UK visa in the spring but it got rejected. It's been hard recently because a lot of problems has caused us not to be able to talk as much. Like first of all his internet went, then his phone broke, then he started double shifts and now he's on a work trip. All that totals to 5 months of not skyping and not being able to talk as much as we used to which is really hard.

I really want to meet him in January but I have a fear of travelling (planes mostly). I would ideally like to meet in France cause that's easiest for me. I've got my passport and I'm working to save up so hopefully we can sort something out. My family know about him (except my brother) and one of my friends know about him also. I can talk to her if I need to but I feel bad for always going on about it and I wanted to talk to people who know what it's like.

Anyway thank you for reading this and I hope you can give me words of advice or encouragement or just a chat. I don't mind Thanks again!

Hi again Mimi!
I can assure you that lots of us here went through the same situation a few times of being frustrated and worried because we feel we're not spending as much time with our LDR SO as we used to, or because we feel the relationship is going through a hard time (even if it's just because the SO is busy lately).

So here's some advice I got on this forum a few months ago when I was starting this LDR thing : "Keep yourself busy, trust your relationship and your SO, and take good care of yourself".
- As I can see through your post, you're still a student, try to focus most of your energy on your school work. That's the best way not to overthink the struggles you both are going through.
- For not skyping as much anymore, it depends on the couple. I used to obsess over talking on the phone every week just because I saw lots of people who say you need to LDR Skype/Phone call every few days, but now I'm way more relaxed about it. If you feel like you really need to, ask your boyfriend to send you pictures or voice recordings (that helped us a lot because of time difference) but it's not a must-do for your relationship to work. Have faith. You guys can do it!
- When you just feel overwhelmed with all of it, try to have some time for yourself. Just focus on you : stretch, go for a run, do some skin care, go shopping, read a book, watch a movie, learn something new, browse Pinterest, go on an adventure... Do anything that makes you feel like you're showing love to yourself.

It's ok if you guys are busy for some time, the most important thing is that you communicate well when you're talking.
And one last personal tip. It's always good to talk to your friends about your worries, but it's even better to discuss them directly with your boyfriend. If you think some particular topic might make him upset, you can try to write it down on a diary a few times until you find the best way you want to voice that topic...

Anyways, I hope I helped make you feel better even a bit.
People will always say it's too difficult (or even impossible) for you two to work it out. Don't ever listen to them. And don't even bother talking about your relationship with that kind of people. If you two believe you can do it, you will.
Stay strong and have faith! You go Girl!

[Mimi123]

Thank you so much!!! That was really the nicest thing anyone has ever said about my relationship! Thank you so much for the advice! You are very right and the tips will be very useful. Honestly I can't thank you enough. You have really made my day!