Nevermets - Am I the only one? Please tell me I'm not crazy!

[Minnie]

Hey guys! This is my first time posting. I Googled LDR because i felt i really needed someone to talk to about this.
I'm a 25 yo radio host from Portugal and I always thought I had my feet right on the ground (portugueses expression do you use this? Means we are rational). So I have NEVER though I was going to be on this situation.
I met Kevin (USA) through a college friend. She is her portuguese cousin (he has double nationality also)! She posted a pictured of Them on instagram and i Found him so cute I added him! Just to see more. Just that!
And then... We started talking. And talking. And talking... I feel in love with a guy I havent ever met! Is this possible??
We are not girlfriend and boyfriend (yet?) but we treat each other like that.
If it all goes ok he is going to meet me in December cause he has family here.
But this sounds too much crazy and I need some support. Is this possible? Should I forget this? He is always on my mind.
Please... Please help.
Thank you guys!

[Redheart14]

Hi and welcome. No you are not the only one. We’ve had members on here that have gone 3-5 years before they had their first meet up. It’s not uncommon to feel the way Yu do before meeting either.

[RWhiz]

I have a theory on 'Never Mets'. I met my girlfriend on line, we chatted for awhile, planned a trip, met each other and eventually fell in love and are now living together. I felt a lot of emotion towards her before we met, as did she towards me, however physically meeting, the sparks and chemistry, touching and seeing the person with my own eyes, and holding her in my arms made a world of difference. I might get boo-ed on this site for saying this, but in my opinion you guys are in love with the idea of each other not the reality of each other. Don't take that as a downer no way, that is where a lot of LDRs start off and can grow into wonderful relationships but I don't really think that unless you've met, and had a few ups and downs together love is kind of an overstatement. Again please don't think I'm belittling your relationship with your boyfriend, but until you've been through some things, and being together in a relationship is a big one, keep the breaks on and your eyes open to who he really is, not what you're believing him to be! Stay with it, save up for a ticket and make a plan to m eat, maybe it'll be the best thing you'll ever do.

Haha, I see you're already planning to meet! Good for you guys!

[Minnie]

Thank you, I feel less crazy at least ahah 😘

[Minnie]

I understand what you are saying!! I really and to meet hum and understand whats going on cause it Hurts! I mean, i love talking to him but not to do it in person kills me inside, it fisically hurts!!

[2Rocky]

Rwhiz and I are in the same mindset. I think Nevermets have the tendency to idealize each other BECAUSE OF THE DISTANCE.

When you spend time with someone it is a steep learning curve.

I think for an LDR to be tenable it has to be predicated on the next in person visit, and eventually on a date for closing the distance.

[Minnie]

Thank you so much! We até trying to meet in december. Hope we can.

[Flautist2000]

My partner and I went about 9 months before meeting (and we weren't officially "together" until then). I had the same thoughts...is it crazy to love someone without ever having met?

I think, after another year+ of being together (and 3 more visits), I can answer the question in terms of my own feelings. Yes, I fell in love with her before meeting her. But it was different. It was absolutely real love, and it was *also* being in love with an idea. Because I couldn't know *all* of her. Hell, we don't spend enough time together now for me to feel totally confident that I know *all* of her.

But it was an amazing foundation. I mean, how many in-person couples give each other undivided mental/emotional attention for an hour every day while they are getting to know each other? Maybe you don't know their quirks because you only see what they want to show you. But in-person couples do it too (I have a friend who used to wake up crazy early to brush her teeth and do makeup if her boyfriend stayed the night...really? Lol) it's just easier to do online and easier to sustain.

But if you know *them,* you have an easier time judging whether you can handle the quirks. Like, my partner has anxiety and is much more concerned about germs than I am. Can I deal with putting a towel down first if I put the suitcase on the bed, even though I don't care enough that I've been known to fall asleep on my own bed with shoes on? Yeah, no big deal! And if I forget, I'll wash the sheets/duvet cover, because I'm choosing *her* and super clean sheets comes with that deal. Now, if she had a freezer full of dead cats...ok, no, lol, not worth it.

[Rezie]

I would encourage peple to meet as soon as possible. Talking to someone you have met and known face to face is different than talking to someone you've never met. You can get to know each other online, but I would encourage meeting before starting to make life plans, considering feelings etc.

[babochka]

Minnie, congrats on being in love! And this is GREAT that you two have a date to meet in person. Be patient, it will only get better.
When you two meet in person it will be SPARKS, ELECTRICITY, THUNDER, VOLCANO EXPLOSION!!!!
My now husband and I met online, he in France, me in Arizona (USA), with an ocean and total 5800miles between us.
We fell in love within 5 weeks of talking online (phone).
We met in person after 5 months.
We got married after 7 months (second visit).
He had to return to France, elas! Because it will take 1 year of immigration process to bring him here.
And by the way, he is Portuguese by origin. And a French by passport.
Me, Russian origin, and American by passport.
He is 59 y.o. I am 54 y.o.
Love conquers all.
Good luck to you!

[Loveg4k]

Something similar happened with me. We "met" on Instagram end of December; he messaged me first and we went from there. We both were really interested and started liking each other from the beginning.

Within a few weeks we were falling for each other; I couldn't get him off my mind either and thought I was going crazy too but apparently he was feeling the same. I felt like it all was happening way too fast even though it felt natural and super nice; he has said, "when you know, you know" and I think we just have an amazing connection; we share the same morals/values/religious beliefs/lifestyle and ethics which we both feel is a must. We also were extremely honest with one another from the very beginning about our backgrounds and history. We also have roundabout connections to people we know so we know who we are dealing with.

We started officially dating only a few weeks later and then started making plans for a visit after that. He's coming to visit me in just a few weeks, less than that actually. We've basically been talking in some way every single day since we met on IG. First it began as DM's on IG then we started doing voice messages on there, then just after a few weeks started talking on the phone, for hours - the first time we spoke on the phone, it was a 4 hour conversation and he said "I love you" during the call - with the explanation that he knew it was just the beginning and would grow and change, then Facebook messenger, video calls and now we do a combination of all of that. I can say for sure I am in love and we do love each other. Obviously we need to meet in person to see how we interact but we both have no doubts and it's felt right from the start.

It's only been less than 3 months since we "met" on IG but it's pretty amazing; we have discussed the possibility of me moving out there and I even looked into transferring my job - I could get work out there - oh yeah, we are over 4,000 miles apart. I'm nervous about meeting him but he will be here for 11 days and meeting all my friends and family - I think it'll be amazing, just hope it'll work out.

Did you ever meet up, what happened?

Hey guys! This is my first time posting. I Googled LDR because i felt i really needed someone to talk to about this.
I'm a 25 yo radio host from Portugal and I always thought I had my feet right on the ground (portugueses expression do you use this? Means we are rational). So I have NEVER though I was going to be on this situation.
I met Kevin (USA) through a college friend. She is her portuguese cousin (he has double nationality also)! She posted a pictured of Them on instagram and i Found him so cute I added him! Just to see more. Just that!
And then... We started talking. And talking. And talking... I feel in love with a guy I havent ever met! Is this possible??
We are not girlfriend and boyfriend (yet?) but we treat each other like that.
If it all goes ok he is going to meet me in December cause he has family here.
But this sounds too much crazy and I need some support. Is this possible? Should I forget this? He is always on my mind.
Please... Please help.
Thank you guys!