Counsellor Issues

[Atlantic Crossroads]

So, I go to see a counsellor every week, and have been seeing the same one for just over a year.
On my last session, I made the mistake of bringing up me struggling with my LDR. My counsellor then started saying how the relationship wasn't real, it wasn't romantic, and we couldn't be in love, and how we're just friends.
Naturally, I found this very distressing. At one point I even thought of walking out. I left the session very distraught, and as a result of that, I didn't go food shopping as I had intended to. I am due to see the same counsellor again this wednesday, but I am still reeling from the emotional tornado that was brought out last week.

I have anxiety, depression, and emotionally unstable borderline personality. She does know this.

What would you do in my situation?

[Rezie]

Your councillor sound like a jerk. They really shouldn't tell you things like that. More to guide you to your own realisation. Even if it were true (i don't know what you told them). Have they been good otherwise? Is it private individual or an employee in a company? I'd look for a new one and file a complaint if they have an employer. Sorry for your crappy experience.

[Flautist2000]

That's awful. I hope things are better now (either with the same person or different). It's their job to ask personal questions, and maybe hard ones, but not make judgement calls.

For example: I told mine that I'd talked with my SO about closing the distance and how it wouldn't be possible, and he just *asked* whether it was really worth it to me, if I could honestlu wait that long, if I was OK with not adding to my family (both my partner and I would like a child together, but I won't do it of she's not going to move closer, and I can't go to her due to my existing custody issues), if I thought I was settling, etc. Some of it was intended to make me get defensive, because maybe I hadn't thought of those things before. I left there even more secure, because I actually thought about what he'd said, and was confident in my responses. I might be sad/upset that we're stuck for so long without making a single life together, but it's absolutely worth the wait for me.

[Atlantic Crossroads]

As an update on this: I didn't go back again. I rang them to say I wouldn't attend my next appointment, and then I followed up with a letter for the counsellor, explaining my reasons. I am now seeing CAMHS (Community Adult Mental Health Service) each week, and they are steering me towards various groups like walking, scrapbooking etc. I am happy enough doing that, and I'm saving 15 euro a week as well.

[Allurial]

So happy to hear that things are better and you no longer have to deal with all that! Here is to a happier and less stressful approach!

[Ship2lady]

That's wonderful news. Happy for you!