From Japan to Canada!

[gabuchan]

Hey all!

I'm new here and just wanted to write my first post outlining my situation.

I met my boyfriend in Japan while I was working there for 5 weeks, we clicked instantly and started dating 11 days after we met. I was there and dating him for about a month before I had to go back home. It was hard to leave him, but the thing that has been keeping me going is the fact that I will be going back to Japan in February for another 6 weeks! I'm so excited for that! I will have to come home again but we have been talking about closing the distance next summer, so in about 7-8 months or so. I'm considering moving to Tokyo where he lives.

Recently, I lost my grandmother suddenly and the grief has been affecting me. I found that I became more closed off to my boyfriend and unintentionally pushed him away. I really wish he was here in person to comfort me, I'm the type of girl who needs physical support during tough times. But I know I will get through this and my boyfriend and I will only become stronger, but because of the grief there are times when I don't want to talk to him, or am just down. It's a sad time and I know it will pass, but it's just hard right now.

I was just wanting to talk to some other people who have experienced the beauty and the hardships of LDR, and would want to share with me as well!

With love,
Gabriella

[Redheart14]

Hi and welcome
Long distance relationships rely heavily on communication. Without it they simply don’t work. There will be times where grief is experienced and even though they cannot be there physically providing that emotional support helps the other person feel like they are doing something rather than nothing (if that makes sense). My now husband and I dealt with a long term terminal illness in my immediate family during our long distance. We could’ve let it tear us apart and I could’ve shut him out completely but I chose to let him support me through and we became stronger as a couple. There were times I’d literally just cry on the phone and he’d just listen I’d often say I just need you to let me cry and vent. He was ok with that and we eventually got through. I’m sorry for your loss as I know how you’re feeling. Try not to shut him out he’s only trying to support you the best he can. Try to think how you’d feel if roles were reversed and he was shutting you out. I often do that to help give myself a bit of perspective. I hope I’ve been able to help in some way.